Curiosity killed the Cat
by LadyAppleBeinagrind
Summary: Schrödinger x female reader. He's everywhere and nowhere. She is lost and doesn't know where she is at all. How can a kidnapped trainee from the Hellsing Organization, bound in her human bones and as fragile as an eggshell, be able to capture the attention of the eternal messenger boy and why can't he leave her alone? (Various characters belong to me, ask at interest)
1. Cheshire's Diamonds

What the symbol stands for will forever make me cringe.

Red, black and white together has never had such a horrible meaning in the world.

Of course I speak of the Swastika, which occurred in front of my eyes more than allowable. Each and every day.

Everything happened so quickly. I've gone from a mere trainee in the service department at Hellsing Organization, to a guarded inmate in a war-loving mayor's hands – the very enemy of my own organization.

But things could have been much worse than this.

For example, instead of rotting in a prison cell, I was standing in line, simply just waiting to leave my plate that I almost licked clean from delicious leftovers. The prisoners get the exact same food as the war force and the other staff members on board the airship.

Although I hate to admit it; the proviant is fantastic here.

Even though my hands are restricted in handcuffs and I'm surrounded by adult men with alarming facial expressions, there's not much more to complain about. Well, other than being forced to witness large displays of swastikas that are visible on the walls everywhere within this huge blimp, which name I have a hard time remembering.

With a lump in my stomach, my eyes examined the vast tapestry that hung above the counter where people eagerly wanted to leave their dirty dishes. It was watching over everyone in the entire dining room like a big evil eye.

My heart was beating slowly and timidly while the same forbidden name unwillingly infected thoughts: _Hitler. Hitler. Hitler._

It was almost like I was ashamed of it. To find myself among this kind of people, and to even eat the same food that has been mended to them. All I could think about while being a prisoner here was old history class and the documentary films about World War II that we had to watch.

When my gaze left the strange looking cross I forced myself to think about something else, anything else. I looked around the dining room like an owl and saw some of my former colleagues that I had practiced with last week when everything was normal. It was a horrible thought, but I am so glad that I wasn't kidnapped alone.

Our small staff with trainees consisted of six people. Each one was distributed to a specific task in the service department. I smiled vaguely, because I'm glad they're okay. It feels safer to have some familiar faces in a place like this, despite the fact that the soldiers doesn't like seeing us together for some unknown reason.

It was hard to stop yourself from wondering why the Millennium Organization chose to gather Hellsing's trainees here. What do they want from us?

I frowned. What's taking so long? The line to the disk had been strangely quiet, and only grew longer and longer. When complaints began to be heard in line, in harsh German and poor English, a short skinny man with a stubble beard raised his voice, waving a rag of some kind like a judge on a soccer game.

"I apologize for the wait, gentlemen!" He shouted. "The misery refuses to collaborate!" Cackled his voice as he mentioned to a big machine behind him and lifted a high pile of plates off the bench to make room for new ones. Me, just like the others in the line, sighed unhappily.

Some of the men began to stomp impatiently, and some simply walked away and tossed their plate on a random table somewhere. The lump in my stomach returned.

I knew there were a lot of intolerant people behind me, more than eager to walk over me or shove me aside, but I kept my calm while I was holding the plate against my chest. The handcuffs made their presence felt on my wrists and hurt against my skin and bones.

The large bulky-necked man in front of me turned around in lack of excitement. His eyes landed on me and he began examining me from head to toe in a disturbing precision. Slowly, a acknowledge-needy smirk formed on his thick lips. Scandalized, offended and disgusted I turned my head quickly to the side and my eyes flickered to the floor.

And then I saw a pair of brown dress boots.

In all things that are strange, I completely forgot about the gawking man right in front of me. The fact that the sight of a pair of spotless and almost fancy shoes just brought me a sense of security was so odd. It looked exactly like the normal shoes worn by the uniformed men onboard, only a few sizes smaller.

My eyes wandered up the owners body in curiosity after seeing black knee high socks covering the calves underneath two bulky, boyish knees. Black shorts with a tucked yellow dress shirt with chest pockets completed the uniform, along with a black tie and a leather strap across the chest and - of course - the taboo cross on the upper arm. Swastika. Hitler.

The person wearing the uniform had brown eyes, blond hair and cat ears.

But in second thought, the person wearing the _Hitler-Youth_ uniform had _red_ eyes. _Ash_ blond hair, and _cat ears._ Cat ears. The boy had cat ears.

I had to look twice. It was definitely cat ears. Like seeing a child in nazi clothes wasn't absurd enough, to top it all, he actually had furry animal ears right on top of his head.

My own head remained tilted to the side after trying to figure out his eye color which was too light to be red, and too dark to be pink. I wanted to believe that they were in fact natural brown, or chestnut brown, or any kind of warmer shade like any other pair of eyes. But they weren't. They were the color of light crimson.

I didn't just see things did I? And I was definitely not colorblind. He could be wearing contacts, but why would he do that in a place like this and why did he stand here next to me? It was not uncommon for these guards to follow you as a tail as soon as you were moving, but this one stood out from the crowd like a red nail and I had never seen him before in my life.

He looked so young, appearing to be 14, and I had never seen him before. Perhaps he wasn't even a guard. Perhaps he wasn't even a soldier. Perhaps he was a trainee just like me. With a soft smile, he amusedly watched the older men in front of us who moaned and complained about the poor dishwasher who certainly didn't get enough charge to receive this much crap.

I discreetly took a closer look at the boy. Maybe he wasn't so young as he appeared? But the _youth_ uniform...

He may look like a kid in a Halloween-costume, but oh how he appeared and behaved mature. Apart from the mischievous expression on his face, and the cat ears of course, he stood straight as a pine, and his arms were tamely placed behind his back, his posture stationary.

Did he carry a weapon? I couldn't see what was tucked away at the end of the leather strap that ended at his side. He could have anything hidden from sight. His ears suddenly twitched, just like he was listening to my thoughts. My eyes widened. I'm sure I saw them moving! I'm certain of it.

Did I see things? Does this place make me crazy? Does he even know about them himself? Of course he does. Have I gone mad? Should I ask him about them?

I looked down hesitantly. One small question wouldn't hurt. It couldn't be completely forbidden to speak with the soldiers, guards or trainees, right? I bit my lip in consideration. I looked around and suddenly, I became nervous about this.

It was so odd. It was like I was more afraid of not asking him and never know, than asking him and know. Luckily, the man in front of me with the bulky neck was no longer looking at me like I was a piece of meat. Maybe that was a sign. Not even maybe; that's when I decided.

I decided to ask him. I was about to burst my inmate-bubble and do trespassing on enemy's territories. The system cannot punish me for being curious. Before I knew it, I bent down to his level and spoke to him, perhaps a bit too closely, intimately.

"Are those real?" I asked in a silly whisper. That was the very first thing I had said to a member of Millennium. My question was gentle, and almost envious, like I was confronting a lady about her diamonds. _Are those real?_

When the boy turned to look at me, I looked attentively at his ears so that he would understand what I meant. Then I got a bit embarrassed. Maybe he was wholeheartedly German and didn't understand anything of what I just had said. If this was the truth, then my trespassing will be declared as in vain, and I must return to my inmate-bubble.

Immediately. Forever. Until another creature succeeds to wake up my curiosity, which I really doubt will happen.

At first he looked amazed that I suddenly interrupted his little examination, but it didn't take long until the mischievous expression returned to his face.

"If you really think about it, what is really real and what is not?" I could hear a German accent sneak between the words. He was whispering just like I did, and his voice was just as childlike as his features. I blinked a couple of times, but before I could think of anything to say, his voice did no longer whisper anymore and I could hear it properly.

"Yes, ma'am." He answered louder with a kind grin. He had been smiling this entire time. He puzzled me.

I was so blown away by him that I didn't even care about his cat ears or eyes, or even the Swastika on his arm anymore. I don't know if it was because he called me "ma'am", or because how such a grin could look that charming on his young features, or because he actually spoke to me like we were on the same level.

He just simply baffled me. I smiled back at him. He was actually pretty charming and I don't understand why I was so nervous talking to him at first. I always wanted a younger brother, and he made me think about that wish of mine.

He was younger brother-material and he was well-mannered and he asked. "Are _those_ real?" And I thought _…What…_ And my eyes looked confusedly at his which focused on the plate held against my chest, and there's one thing I'm certain of; he did not mean the handcuffs.

* * *

I never answered his question. If I was more clever, I could've simply said _"What's real and what's not"_ or whatever it was that he pulled on me earlier and use his own words against him, but my mind was completely unfilled at the moment and all I felt was offended. Instead of answering his question, I was just staring at him in disbelief and I could feel how the inner panic within me started to multiply.

Nobody had heard our little conversation, yet I immediately regretted my decision to talk to this stranger. It was my own fault, after all. I wasn't even mad at him, or offended. I was just shocked and mad at myself and my curiosity. I suppose this kind of people exist everywhere, no matter what their age is and no matter the location and surroundings.

I slowly returned my gaze forward; my eyes crept away from his, as if our eye contact never had been.

There. He was just a memory now. My eyes had never looked at his being. I had never seen him. Instead, my eyes focused on the man's bulky neck in front of me. I clenched the plate harder to my breasts, feeling the small pervert's eyes on me.

How come I felt so disappointed? Why did I even bother? He was obviously much younger than me so why was I acting so sensitive? Why was I acting like a child? Why didn't I talk back at him? The older, the better, isn't that right? Perhaps the right thing to do was ignoring him, being the bigger person.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I never noticed that the people in front of me had started moving. I felt someone push against me from behind.

"Mooove _inmate!" _A masculine voice roared.

Just like that.

_'Mooove.'_

I got a glimpse of the man behind me. He didn't look as scary as some of the other soldiers did but he was still a soldier, a soldier with a weapon and a duty, and short auburn hair and green eyes. He looked to be a few years younger than my dad and a few years older than me.

He was about in the middle age, and he was grinning, being a tease, and probably proud of own comment.

The older, the better, I said?

"Sorry." I squeaked, half irritated, half frightened, trying not to get too caught up in the fact that he actually sounded like a cow. I could hear laugher as I hurried after the others. A blush began to take form on my face as I stood as close as I could manage behind mister bulky-neck without making him aware of my being.

So much for being the 'bigger' person in this tragic part of the world.

I didn't want to be here anymore. I started to feel really uncomfortable. I almost joined the group of men who stomped in their places on the floor like bulls.

Maybe I should just leave. Is that okay?

Is it okay for an _inmate_ to toss their plate somewhere else other than in the dishwashers face? Strangely enough; that idea was more appealing to me than remain in a line full of middle-aged Nazi soldiers.

Thank lords (or the skinny dishwasher) that the machine was miraculously fixed and mister bulky-neck walked forward along with his other fellows. This time, I didn't hesitate to mooove.

I was more than eager to escape from the earlier scene with that naughty cat-kid and mister bulky-neck and let's not forget Sir daddy-moo, and head back to my cell and sleep, finally ending my first proper week at the Millennium Organization.

I smiled a crocked smile at the dishwasher and awkwardly put my plate on top of the high pile he was just about to carry away. My hands felt free, even though they were still stuck in the chains. I strutted promptly towards the exit, where a guard probably was waiting to escort me to my room, but I got stopped before I even got halfway through the dining room.

"The walking-rules, Sorry." I said quickly, remembering the rules and also trying to avoid the never-ending confrontation.

I'm aware that it is forbidden for inmates to more than walk in this place, but it's also easy to forget that sometimes.

"Walking rules?"

I had to look up when I heard the familiar young voice. It was him again. The blond boy with the red eyes and the cat ears and the Swastika on his left arm.

"Yes indeed. I am not allowed to more than walk in this place." I told him, just like I was talking to a little child.

But then I remembered what he had asked me before, and that he wasn't as innocent as he looked, and I didn't mind my properness. I wanted to give him a piece of my daily hell. "And with 'more than walk' I mean I am not able to walk hurriedly, hastily, speedily, quickly, fast, rapidly, swiftly, briskly, without delay, at top speed, headlong, like greased lightning-"

I took a deep breath, trying to find more words fitting for ways of not walking.

"Or jog. Run. Bounce. Skip. Leap. Flee…Waddle... Also, we're not getting any breakfast and if we want to shower, we must ask, and shower in handcuffs." I stated, but a small chuckle left him. I glared at him and frowned, obviously disturbed by his presence once again.

"Shouldn't you know, you're a guard, after all, aren't you?" I asked, irritated that he out of everyone had to confront me.

"Never mind, can you _please _move?**"** I said, my 'please' just as meaningful as a fart in space. I don't know if I was being amusingly confident or completely out of my mind. The kid may be younger, and look more innocent than the others, but his facade hid a person who could make my life an even more living hell if he wanted to.

Insolence could have a high price on board, and the only excuse that I had was that I lost all respect for him for a few minutes ago. That's probably why I no longer care about what I say to him. He only stood there with his cat ears and his continuous smirk, completely unaffected by my words.

"I was only joking, you know." He said. I assumed he was referring to his earlier comment. I don't know if I should be embarrassed or grateful that he brought that up again. But I guess this was his way of apologizing to me. I gave him a strange smile. He was being the bigger person.

His eyes lit up at my gesture and he took this opportunity to introduce himself.

"I'm Schrödinger." He said, pointing at himself. He looked at me curiously, awaiting my response.

_I see how it is. We meet each other now, all over again. _

Schrödinger was an odd name for a boy his age in this century, but I didn't tell him that. I only told him my name, and_ w_hen I told him my name, his smile never left his face.

"You're not from here, are you?" He asked, looking at me like he knew something I didn't. I nodded, even though I feared that this conversation was going on for too long. "Inmate." I stated with an unjust chuckle, used to being called that by the people "above" me.

I raised my hands to show him my captivity. His eyes widened a bit and his ears pointed upwards like antennas on his head. The reddish orbs of his moved between the chains and my face like they were following the ball in a ping-pong game.

"Really?" He almost shouted, earning looks from the people around us. I nodded quickly, feeling myself blush by the unwanted attention. Schrödinger acted like this was something incredibly new to him, and all of the sudden he grabbed hold of the chains between my hands, pulling me towards the exit.

"Here I'll escort you." He offered, and he didn't bother to wait for my acceptance. I felt ridiculous as he dragged me through the Cafeteria. It was like he was leading a horse out of the stall. I did my best to keep up with him, but my back arched slightly, as I had to lean down. My legs felt heavy compare to his running, almost skipping legs.

"Hey! I'm not allowed to more than walk, remember?" I whispered/yelled at him.

"With me, you are." He assured.

"I'll take this one." The guard at the entrance eyed us suspiciously when Schrödinger spoke to him in a confidence rare in children his age. He glared at me before turning to Schrödinger and nodded slowly.

Another pull at my handcuffs, and a spurt, dragged us out in the middle of nowhere. He headed off in a random direction and I wasn't even sure where we were anymore. When we arrived to a completely unfamiliar area on the blimp, I had to stop and pull him back to a halt.

"H-Hey!" I said, trying my best to not sound rude. He stopped at the sudden brake and glared at me as he let go of the chains. "Where are we going? This isn't the right way to my cell." I explained, taking in the new environment. "Oh, I guess I got a little carried away, huh?" He said, looking intensely at me with a fresh grin. "In all honesty; didn't know we had inmates onboard." He tilted his head slightly. "What did you do?" He asked, curious eyes filling up with suspicions of euphoria. "What?" I had to ask.

"What in the world did you do to get here?" He asked and began walking around me slowly, arms properly behind his back. "Did you do anything _bad? Trespassing? Kidnapping? Mugging?__"_ With each question, he examined me in a 3D-manner, refusing to look away from me. "Or maybe..." I shivered as he stopped and now stood by my side, pulling me down by my arm so I could feel his warm breath on the side of my face.

_"Did you _murder_ someone?"_ He whispered so intensively that I almost could feel him lick my ear. In instinct, I moved away from him. "I was kidnapped." I stated, almost boringly as I shrugged off his hand from my arm. I glared at his contented face."How old are you?" He suddenly asked. "Older than you. Perhaps even the same age like your mom." I answered, not knowing myself if that was the truth or not. But I smiled to myself, satisfied with my childish response. A childish response to an asking child. He looked a bit startled, just like he did before in the dining room when I told him I was an inmate. "Oh, but exactly how old are you then?" He asked, still looking curious even though I used sarcasm on him. I felt a bit bad and immature for coming up with the previous answer, so I told him my real age.

"That's not old at all." He said, his curiosity still not over. "Hold on a minute." I said as I stepped away from him and gave him a suspicious look. "What was that?" I asked and then he asked, "What, _that_?" and I answered, "That stunt in the Cafeteria! Did you drag me all the way out here just to ask my age?"

"I did not." He took a step towards me, but that was all he did. "Then why did you?" I asked, but he didn't give me an answer. I sighed and smiled half-heartedly. _Kids these days. _"Well, I guess I'll just go. That way?" I pointed towards the direction we came from and started to walk away from him, not finding him as interesting as I once did.

"Rape." He called after me. I stopped, dead in my tracks. I turned around. His eyes that earlier was drilling holes into my back was now doing that to my face."What?" I breathed in disbelief, not believing the word he just had said. "The men." He continued, like that would make me understand. "What are you talking about?" I asked, hearing how serious my voice suddenly became. I was no longer talking to a kid, but an adult. His eyes never left mine and his grin wasn't as sincere as it was before. "I've seen them do it and I don't want to see you like that." He said with a sudden seriousness that I until now haven't noticed before. But I still had a hard time to completely understand what he was telling me. "Schrödinger..." I said quietly, checking our surroundings in case someone had heard him and in worst case, would interfere.

"If you want to have an easy life here, then stay close to me. I'm not like the others." He explained calmly, being a perfect contrast to my newly concerned being. "I-I don't understand." I stuttered, not wanting to believe in any of this. "Unless that's something you want." He implied, almost with a happy chime.

"Of course not!" I scolded at him. "Then listen." He said in a much more collected voice than my outrageous. I was about to say something but he lifted his finger in order to prevent me before I did. The look on his face was way too astonishing to belong to a child. Just like before, he looked like he knew something I didn't.

_"I'm _not_ like the others."_ He said again, but in a whisper. His finger that was still raised in the air surrendered to create a soft fist that started to approach my face.

Before he would touch my cheek – the part he was aiming for - I gently grabbed his hand and moved it down slowly and whatever he had in mind doing that close to me never happened. This was the first time we touched each other purely, apart from when he touched my arm and almost licked my ear. I never even noticed that he wore gloves until now. I still held his hand when I asked "Is this appropriate behavior for a guard?"

I didn't know if I could trust him or not."I already told you," He grinned and snatched away his hand from my light grip. The sudden movement surprised me and made my heart sink for an unknown reason. In less than one second of time he was beyond my gaze, and nowhere to be seen.

_'I'm not like the others.'_

I grabbed my head, hearing his words hammer on the walls of my mind. The discomfort caused me to back up against a nearby wall in a stumbling manner and slide down sitting on the floor. I closed my eyes tightly, as if that would help me out of this situation. It didn't work. I could still hear him.

_'I'm not like any other. See? I'm everywhere-'_

The echo thinned out into the open air and ended up outside of my mind.

"And nowhere." He finished, talking from the "outside", meaning that I could hear his voice like I normally did, before when everything was as they should be. I felt less dizzy but it would take a moment for the discomfort to left me completely. I opened my eyes slowly and gazed wobbly into two reddish eyes. He was now sitting in front of me, bending forward with the same everlasting smile pasted on his face."What really _is_ inappropriate behavior, miss?" He asked all of the sudden. "Where goes the line?" He asked again. The reddish eyes seemed to get closer and closer and my back straightened up against the wall behind me. When our noses almost touched each other and I could feel the unchanged warm breath on my face, I put my hands on his shoulders. "Here" I said as I pushed him gently away from me. I couldn't accept the fact that a little boy succeeded to get me this flustered. I managed to stand up on my feet and turned away from him, struggling against the blush that spread like a wildfire on my face.

"Are you really telling me the truth?" I asked, trying to get over my embarrassed self and his hocus-pocus mind tricks. "About men raping prisoners? Then yes." He answered. I could hear shuffle behind me. He was also standing up. He called my name and I turned around to face him."I want to show you something." He said in excitement, probably to break the awful mood he had created with all the taboo talk. "What do you want to show me?" I asked. I couldn't resist a small smile forming on my face. I couldn't resist being curious.

"Come with me." He held out his hand to me, and without a second thought, I grasped it.

Once again, my curiosity won against my intellect.


	2. Liqueur with a twist

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Schrödinger asked, but I could barely hear him. The boy had decided that it was a good idea to bring me up to the ceiling of the airship, in order to clear my mind a bit. He was wrong, and now riskily close to falling over the edge. My hair was all over the place as the harsh wind stubbornly pulled at it in different directions. I was sitting on my knees, not daring to look up from my hands that were grasping them. It literally felt like I was going to get blown away any second. I also felt the urge to puke, like when you're feeling seasick or when you're on a never-ending road trip or when you just feel the urge to vomit your inner organs out. I wasn't looking at him (or anything else in that matter) since the wind was blowing so roughly around my head, making me half-deaf and almost making my ears pop from the pressure in them. My eyes were shut hard and when I no longer could hear anything from him, and was too afraid to open my eyes and see if he was still there or not, I asked in worry "Hello?" Still, all I could hear was the howling winds. I mentally freaked out. Had he fallen off? I wanted to stand up and look after him like a person looking for its lost animal, but then the harsh wind reminded me that I was thousands of meters up in the sky, and I had myself to worry about. I fell to my knees again after a valiant effort to stand and I felt a sincere panic overtake the whole of my being.

A hand surprised me and felt warm against my face in the middle of the howling storm as fingers tilted my head upwards. The hand gave me courage and my eyes opened fully and I saw into a reddish stare that looked almost illuminating in the darkness of the late evening sky. One of Schrödinger's ears was down, while the other was up; almost as in a confused expression. Perhaps raising an eyebrow in cat body language…

He was grinning too, as always."What are you doing? Come on!" Schrödinger chimed and the wind didn't whistle as much in my ears anymore. I was thinking that maybe I just started to adjust to the situation, but that didn't change anything. I was still terrified. Before I even got the chance to tell him that I wanted to return inside the blimp as soon as possible, he pulled at my arms, forcing me to stand. Even though I refused and forced myself to not move an inch, he managed to make me stand up on my feet with ease. He was much stronger than he looked, but even so, my legs refused to collaborate with his strength; my knees automatically buckled under my weight, wanting to return to the ground. I was putting up a small fight but he still had his hold on me. One of his hands was gripping my upper arm and the other was holding the hand on my other arm tightly. His eyes didn't leave mine as he walked backwards, pulling me along with him. He was leading me to the front, but I just wanted to drop dead right there where we stood. My knees buckled again and I tried to glue my feet to the ground underneath. I could hear him laugh as he changed to a more firm position; his arm going around my waist instead, pushing me forward. When I still struggled he grabbed my hand again with the one that wasn't around me and moved the other away from my waist, instead grabbing my hip. This became a very strange, awkward pose with the two of us included. I'm pretty sure we looked like two drunk people trying to help each other walk home from a wild night out. While doing this, he laughed again, because I still refused to walk with him.

"If you keep struggling you'll make _both of us __fall to our deaths!" _He said and giggled in delight, like it was something fun to experience, but I didn't take his words for granted, so I followed his suit. As we got closer to the edge; I completely clicked.

It was as like our roles had been reversed and _I _was the child, clinging onto him. All the city lights look like a starry sky beneath us, making me think only '_Nope nope nope'. _It was like a dream, but it wasn't. It was like this wasn't happening, but it was. I'm going to die. This will be the day when my life comes to its end. This will be the death of me. The cat-eared boy is going to kill me."There you go." He murmured softly, his releasing hands giving me permission to fall to the ground just like I had wanted. He comically followed me with his eyes as I was sinking down in slow-motion, ending up grabbing his nearest leg. My eyes didn't want to see again, so I closed them. I felt him kneel down carefully beside me. Then I felt that small hand again, this time on top of my head, fingers massaging my scalp. Once again, his hand gave me courage so I glanced up at him. He wasn't looking at me, but he was smiling. He was smiling.

He squinted slightly against the cold air that blew away the light hair strands from his delighted face. His eyes stared through black eyelashes and his button-nose was bent beautifully, surrounded by two small cheekbones that could be seen if you took great notice. He was pale, not ghostly pale but simply blessed with fair skin that looked like porcelain in the starlight. His whole face looked to be sculpted by angels. I looked away from him, feeling ashamed of myself for staring at him for so long, and bold.

What was going on, really? My heart was beating fearfully in my chest in the fear of losing my life right here. But the gentle caress of his fingertips somehow soothed me and the terrified, fearful thoughts that this unpredictable stranger could end my sordid life right here with one simple movement if he wanted to, disappeared into the open air. Instead, I was flattered by this, being in the same company with him. It made me feel like the only thing that made me a prisoner was the chains around my wrists. I closed my eyes, not because I was afraid. I shut them in pleasure and was happy that the wild wind was covering up for my pleased sigh that escaped my lips. When I opened my eyes, his fingers had tangled in my hair. "We should probably go." He said, turning his head to me with a smile, his gloved fingers escaping tangled locks of hair. If we weren't where we actually where, I would've probably questioned him, but the thought of leaving was way too overwhelming, so I didn't have to ask why he suddenly wanted to leave. I clumsily followed him back after he stood up, wanting to hold onto his clothes, but I survived without actually doing it. We had left the storm above us just as suddenly we had visited it.

We were inside again, the corridors with the white walls looked very familiar. I didn't even question how we got there and back, I just wanted to lie down on the floor and kiss it. Even that uncomfortable bed in my small room was something I was longing for. But I was too relieved to feel bad for myself. Instead, I was starting to get slightly irritated…

"Hey!" I raised my voice as Schrödinger nonchalantly walked in another direction, probably expecting me to follow him. He turned around after hearing my voice."Hey?" He replied calmly, smiling in niminy-piminy confusion."Hey…" I stated seriously, the word being spoken three times after another but this was the last. I walked towards him, my steps firm and heavy on the floor, and like a mother would chase after her disobedient child, I approached him. I could feel myself frown and my hands were almost in fists, but Schrödinger didn't move an inch. My eyes were staring down at him, discovering that I was a few centimeters taller. His calmness disappointed me a bit and even though I don't like to admit it; he caught me off my own guard. I tried to not let him get to me, though, so I wouldn't forget what to say.

"Can you please explain?" I asked, my voice sounding way more upset and exhausted than angry and confronting. I didn't like that. He blinked twice before answering. "What do you want to know?" His unpredictable help startled me a bit. I didn't think he would actually be willing to tell me anything. I didn't even think I would get this far with him. "Uh…" I started sheepishly. This wasn't going very well at the moment."Can you please explain to me," I took a short pause, just realizing how close we were and took one step back. I'm sure he could feel every breath and every word of mine on his face."Why you are playing around with me? Why do you pull me in random directions? Why are you even with me right now? I'm sorry, but I don't even know you." I took a chance at the last sentence, hoping I wouldn't upset him in anyway but he was still smiling. He was smiling for another couple of seconds.

"Because I like you" He said casually. "That's not a proper answer!" My reply was quick to his embarrassing answer, not taking him seriously at all.

"Whatever is _a proper answer_ then?" He asked, mocking my choice of words. I didn't answer. I didn't know. I changed the subject. I was going for the kill. "Who do you think you are?" I asked and managed to sound the tiniest bit threatening, just like I wanted. I smiled inwardly as his grinning expression dropped a little, and I took it further. "Who are you to kidnap an innocent prisoner – a stranger- like this?" I still managed to keep alive my seriousness and hold my straight face in place as I stepped towards him. I actually made him back away from me, in fear or in observation, or both. I took this opportunity to back him up into a wall. I wasn't sure what to do next. Having him trapped, I continued with my amateur talking.

_"Without even knowing what I'm _capable of_.._." I whispered to him, because he was so close and it gave my words a certain feeling to ödinger got speechless after that. At first, I just thought that he got simply puzzled, perhaps even a bit afraid, but I saw no fear or confusion in his expression, only a growing smirk forming wickedly on his childish features.. I had to turn the tape back. Maybe whispering wasn't such a great choice. After realizing that Schrödinger wasn't the only person who was smirking, I felt panic overtake me, similar to the panic that attacked me in the howling winds above us, when realizing that Schrödinger's smirk was a reflection of my own.

_Without even knowing what I'm capable of. _Such a silly thing to come up with, especially when I'm unaware of my own capableness. I'm not a nasty person. What in the world am I trying to do?This wasn't good. I was acting more like a perverted pedophile than a behaving prisoner.

"My Goodness!" Schrödinger chuckled and his face moved away from mine. He didn't do this out of dismay though. He just wanted to get a better look at me as his eyes glanced me up and down, probably wondering who in the world _I_ thought _I_ was. I can't blame him. My words wasn't a threat, it was a misleading statement that wasn't even true. It was a fabrication. I spoke to him like I actually could put my hands on him, but here I stood, frozen and unable to move. "You look pretty up close." He said, and I remained the way I was. Even though I could feel his breath on my face, I didn't care if my words could be felt on his face either. I was too inquisitive to be silent.

"What do you want?" I asked hurryingly, once again pushing away one of his compliments."I love it when you blush." Stating one of my current weaknesses, I wanted to turn away from him, but I took well use of the last of my curiosity."Please answer my question. What do you want?" I asked calmly in the middle of my blushing."You would be surprised if I told you what I want, Eve." Schrödinger said, calling me a name that didn't belong to me."What?" I asked in confusion. Maybe he had forgotten my name, or got it confused with someone else. But something in his eyes told me that he knew everything about me, so why wouldn't he remember my name? "I won't say." He teased, eyes gleaming with everything I didn't know. "Please." I sighed. "Oh my. Eager aren't we?" He grinned leaning forward so our noses were touching. I pulled away from him in anxiety. My former bold, flushed, angered face turned into nothing but a blank, rosy-cheeked face.

"You know. I couldn't even care less. I'm a grown up girl – woman - andI can handle this in my own way." I explained, not wanting to dig deeper in this. I left him after my speech, and walked off. I felt a burden drop from my shoulders at the knowing of soon being on my own. But the burden was about to get even heavier. He was following me. I noticed and looked back at him. He was watching me like I was a stranger, but a quick smile entered his face.

"That is the wrong way, Miss."

I felt embarrassed and I wished I could just ignore him and continue walking whichever path I chose, but I didn't want to get lost so I turned back. I didn't trust him, but he was the only one present who knew this place. I forced myself to not look at him as I passed him, but all for naught. He grabbed my arm and our eyes locked once again. "I took the responsibility to escort you. I can not let you go before I'm sure you're in your room."

"How do you even know where my room is?" I asked, ignoring his sharp fingernails digging into the fabric around my arm. "I know everything." He answered. I was expecting a grin but it never came.

_He's serious._

Without another word, he let go of my arm and we walked in silence through wiggly halls I never walked through before.

* * *

The boy had lied. He had taken me to a room that wasn't my own and I got a sudden instinct to just lie down and play dead on the soft-looking carpet in the middle of the floor. The room was bigger and much fancier than my own and everything looked neat and inviting, but I couldn't help but complain. "This isn't my room." I said, trying to sound kind but my words were bitter and disappointed. Despite my statement, he walked in and sat himself on the bed and wiggled his legs back and forth like it was his own. The room was very different from mine. It was not only larger and had more color in it, the bed was placed on the opposed side of the room, and this one had a nightstand with a bowl of fruit next to it and a matching wardrobe that reached all the way up to the ceiling.

I sighed and gave in to the luxury, even though it felt wrong. I was too tired to walk or argue. The only thing that really bothered me was the walls that were plastered and covered with Nazi flags and placards, ornamental revolvers, steel helmets and quotes from Hitler himself.

The idea that this was Schrödinger's room struck me.

"Close the door." He said/whispered like we were being chased by something with claws and sharp teeth when he saw that I had given up. His obtrusiveness made me feel rather uncomfortable, but I did what I was told. I wouldn't want the door to be open anyway. I walked over to the bed and sat down beside him, noticing how my body sank down in the unbelievable soft mattress. I smiled in delight, accepting him, or not. He wasn't all that bad, despite his unpredictable behavior. I looked at him.

"Schrödinger." The German name sounded strange from my mouth and seemed like a question. His cat ears perked up, probably from realization that I remembered his name."Yes." He said, but still not looking at me. My mind got unoccupied after his reply, so I remained silent and crawled onto the bed further so my back was leaning against the wall. Schrödinger still moved his legs back and fourth, the mattress bouncing up and down slightly. It made me think about stuff that I shouldn't be thinking about in a situation like this. Just when I was going to ask him to stop, he did. Instead he jumped of the bed and grabbed a bright red Snow White apple from the nightstand. He took a big bite, his sharp teeth piercing the thin shell with a crack, but he didn't bite all the way through it and kept in-between his lips. With the apple stuck in his mouth like a slaughtered pig on Christmas dinner, he headed towards the tall wardrobe. When he opened the door, I discovered a full of men military clothing! But he just jerked them down from their coat hangers and tossed them in a pile on the carpet. I speechlessly watched him as he started to throw out the shoes on the bottom and grabbed hold of a leather bag and rummaged through it like it belonged to him. He made a muffling squeak of some sort, reminding me that the apple was still in his mount. It sounded like he'd found whatever he had been searching for. After adding the leather bag in the pile of clothing, the wardrobe was pretty much empty and he turned to me and with excited and delighted eyes. He finally took a bite of the apple and munched on it as he shouted.

"Ta-da!" He exclaimed with apple juice spurting from him mouth. My eyes darted at a small container of Jägermeister liquor in his outstretched hand. He eagerly got rid off the not even half-eaten apple, which fell to the floor and rolled into the pile of military wear topped with the old bag, gathering dust from the carpet on its short-lived journey. He joined me on the bed again, already fingering on the handle of the travel sized glass bottle, humming a tone of a battle song of some sort all the while, and reminding me of melodies sung by soldiers who goes into war. Then his lips greeted the bottle and the action snapped me back to my senses. "Hey, maybe you shouldn't-" Minding his young age, I tried to grab the bottle away from him but he had already devoured half of the liquor and wouldn't let me touch it. I stared at him like he was a lunatic. Perhaps he was. I couldn't even take a sip of that drink without cringing.

He made a satisfied drinking-moan and clumsily put back the lid on the petite bottleneck and tossed the container in my lap."If you wanted some; you could've asked." He said, giggling into space without looking at me. "But I didn't want anything…" I explained calmly with a natural seriousness. Schrödinger was looking into my eyes now and everything I had experienced with the boy the past hour replayed in my head and was making me feel so confused and everything had gotten a bit too much for me at this point. I didn't want more of his nonsense.

I took a deep breath. I turned to him completely. I pulled up both of my legs on top of the mattress. I could hear the bottle jingle against the floor as I put myself in a position with my legs in Indian style. Feeling calm and brave enough, I gently placed both of my hands on each cheek of his spotless face; my act made me feel like a mother. His eyes were James Dean glossy and more attentive than they've ever been, and his face was shimmering from the alcohol. And then at my own terror, I was realizing it.

Even though I was the person touching him, the feeling of his skin on my hands made me embarrassed and I gently let go of his face that seemed to have matured five years during this moment. His gaze was half-lidded and almost seductive, and I slowly waved my hand in front of his face like a pendalion. "Hey..." I whispered, my voice breaking at the end and made me quite certain that I wouldn't find more words to say. He got me. He got me bad and he must've known because his crooked grin widened behind the bars of the fingers on my moving hand_.__"Hey..."_ He answered in his own tone of voice. He captured my hand and stopped my gauche waving at a first try, removing the movement from his sight.

He couldn't have found a better opportunity, because when my hand was detached from our eye contact Schrödinger's ears tilted back and he kissed me and I was caught off guard. Those small lips of his were sticky from the fruit and his breath was poisoned with alcohol. It wasn't more than a peck but I would lie if I said that the spontaneous kiss didn't mean anything and was less than an opportunity taken by a curious teenager. I could feel it. It meant something. It was there, on his lips and on my lips. When he had pulled away, he had pulled away so slowly that I could feel his eyelashes tickle the surface of my cheekbones just before his eyes opened.

He had had his eyes closed. Unlike my own, that was wide-open in nothing but unexpected surprise His gloved hands had a steady grip on my waist, like he was holding a little baby and his stare showed no remorse. The air smelled like licorice and cinnamon and ginger and unrecognizable herbs and apple and alcohol. He licked his lips and his hands slowly left my sides. He didn't want to hold this little baby anymore so instead he let her run wild on shaky and inexperienced feet. I got a feeling that this little baby wouldn't last long on her own. She would fall, and skin her knees and bruise her chin, and she would cry for him to come back, pick her up, and hold her close.

Schrödinger neglected my eye contact and stood up from the bed without giving me a single glance, only to pick up the liquor bottle that had fallen to the floor. But I was too busy to mind his manners; I was so shocked that I had to actually touch my lips to even believe that it had happened at all. But it couldn't be more real than this. The smell had planted itself on my lips and reached up to my nose like a stubborn perfume."Empty." His casual voice said, obviously meaning the container, unless he could see into my mind at this very moment. I didn't look at him. It took a great while for me to finally look at him, and when I did he was occupied with going through some stuff in the wardrobe once again, just like nothing had happened.

My eyes drifted to the glowing red in the Swastika band on his upper arm and I felt empty and nauseous. Even if it was just Schrödinger; a boy that could have been my little brother with cat ears and supernatural eyes and paranormal abilities, it felt like I had just kissed a real life villain.- A member of the Millennium forces and a minor antagonist in my own story. In discomfort, I consoled myself by hugging my arms and stared down at the spot he had been seated on the slightly messed up sheets."I moved you to another room." Schrödinger said and it almost sounded like an attempt to make me feel better. "In case you're wondering what I'm doing; I'm just cleaning some stuff out to give you more space." He informed, even though I never asked for an explanation. "Isn't that super?" He asked gleefully, his happiness colliding with my gloomy feelings like a firework.

"The bed is more comfortable," He said as he tossed all the clothes and other things in big plastic bags like it was garbage. The cliffhangers rattled against each other as he slammed the doors shut. "And you have much room for your belongings." He added which was a bit ironic since I had been kidnapped and trapped inside this zeppelin with nothing but the clothes I was wearing now; a fancy shirt that got less fancy every day and a pair of trousers and polished indoor shoes."Also..." He continued, still sounding as glad. "This room is easier for me to find." He wiped his hands in claps against each other and put them on his hips as he looked down at the black bags with satisfaction. "I shall be your escort from now on." He said, smiling and looked at me for the first time since he kissed me.

The thought came to my like a thrown grenade, and exploded into words that he could hear,

"I liked my last escort." I lied, not even knowing his name or remembering his face. I don't know why I said that. Perhaps I didn't want Schrödinger as my escort. Perhaps I didn't want anything to do with him anymore, although his still grinning and confident face made me feel disappointed."Why?" He asked calmly dusting his hands off once again as he sat back down on the bed, his eyes on nothing but me. I can't decide what's worse; having him staring so intently at me, or ignoring me completely like he did moment ago. I could not answer his question because I lied about liking my former escort. I had to come up with something, and I came up with it after staring into Schrödinger's reddish eyes for more than allowable long.

"He had a pair of pretty eyes." I said, without looking away. He was looking back at me in amusement, barely blinking at my statement."The pretties on board?" He finally asked. I smiled at his question, it was childlike and simple, but it was another I could not answer. "I don't know yet." I said in all my honesty. I see new faces every day, and right now, all I can see is Schrödinger's enthralled expression. "What's his name?" He asked, boycotting our little game. It was fun as long as it lasted. "Why do you care about who he is?" I asked mischievously, giving him a smug little look of my own, which he only smiled back at. When I just began to believe that I was starting to enjoy his company again, his answer traumatized me like a gun to the head."Because if you're telling me the truth, his eyes need to be carved out." He stated. After seeing my reaction, he started laughing but something wasn't right with that laugh."And about you…" He began after his laugher had died down. "M-Me?" I stammered, imagining the worse scenarios including me, my body and carving.

"Your eyes." He answered serenely. My heart dropped to my stomach and liking what this was leading, I blurted out "Your eyes are the pretties in the world!" Revealing one of my newest secrets to him, and it was the truth. My curiosity took the best out of me. Again, and Schrödinger? He was looking at me in silence, his eyes speaking for themselves."Then it would make things much easier, wouldn't it?" He said.

_Yes, indeed. He wouldn't take his own eyeballs out._

"So that's what you think?" He asked, the grin returning to his face. "I suppose for a little kid." I said and kicked him softly in his side with my so he swayed sideways. He smiled sadly as I did so. "So that's what I am?" He whispered so quietly, that it could easily be misheard by the careless. "What?" I asked, hearing every word, but didn't understand them. "Good night, then." He said, grinning at me, getting off the bed so suddenly I completely forgot what he was telling me before."5:pm" He said, grabbing an apple and tossed it in the air before catching it like it was a ball.

"Will be hanging on your lock." He said and bent down to pick up the plastic bags. "Wait." I said, his eyes bolting in my direction. I hesitated only once before I asked "Before you go, can you please tell me whose room this is?"

"Oh! Don't worry about him!" He smiled a toothy smile and waved a gloved hand at me. And then, something dark suddenly embossed his features and erased his innocence. I thought it was the shadows from the door he was about to exit that made him this sinister, but he proved me wrong when he said "He won't see. He's _blinded_ by this little incident."

Schrödinger winked at me, bit the fruit and grabbed the belongings of my former escort; plastic bags slung over his shoulder and an apple between the same lips that once had joined mine. I was alone, trapped inside the darkness of the room that wasn't mine and the fear of wanting him near me as quickly as possible ate at me, even though what he had done to the previous resident and made my desires full of sin. I couldn't sleep because I did not remember Schrödinger opening or closing the door to my room when he left, and I couldn't help thinking that perhaps I was the one who was blinded.

I never left the bed. I sat on it for a couple of minutes, trying to take in everything that just happened, only to snuggle myself underneath the covers after eternal thoughts. I looked around the room. It was strange how some of the light somehow disappeared along with Schrödinger.

I didn't know the time. It wasn't a clock in this room, just like the previous room I had stayed in. I remember when I first got here; I tried to replace the word "cell", with "room" so my captivity shouldn't be too much for me. But to be honest, this was actually much fancier than a simple prison cell. It was a room and it did belong to somebody. It belonged to a soldier, another member of the Millennium Organization.

I didn't know who had stayed here, if it was my last escorts or just one of the other guards but the sheets smelled unfamiliar to me and I just couldn't fall asleep in some stranger's bed. I didn't know how long I've been lying here and I didn't know whose room this was and I didn't know the time and I didn't know what would happen in the morning. All I know is that he will come back to me at 5: pm.

I turned around in the bed. It felt safer to face the wall. That's when I realized something. My eyes went wide-open as I burst up into a sitting position. I examined my hands and my wrists in terror.

_The handcuffs were no longer there!_

A mix of relief and fear overwhelmed me. If someone found out that I didn't wear any chains, its over. It would be classified as an escape and I wouldn't come out here alive, or at all. I looked around the room, only to find anything and everything that wasn't the thing I searched for. I even rummaged through the wardrobe in hope to find a pair of spare ones but Schrödinger had already cleaned through every square centimeter in the furniture. I couldn't make handcuffs out cliffhangers so I had to look after other solutions. My last and only option was a drawer attached to the bedside table. When I opened it, I was both afraid and excited to see what was in there. My eyes scanned the content; A razor. A small key, to a padlock or a bike. A wrinkled banknote of German currency. A condom. A condom wrapper. An ballpoint pencil. I couldn't make a pair of handcuffs of any of these things, even if I combined them all. But what I saw next was even worse or even better than a pair of wrist chains. I slowly pushed the drawer back into its place and took one final glance underneath the bed, only finding one slipper, an empty plastic bottle and another piece of condom wrapper and I jumped in bed. I pulled the covers over me once again, shutting my eyes in the weirdest of safeties; a safety only a handy little silver pistol could bring you.


	3. A purple reunion with Sir Daddy Moo

I was in bed. Not my very own at home. Not one of the spare emergency ones at Hellsing Organization. Not the uncomfortable mattress in one of the previous cells I had to live in here onboard on the Millennium aircraft. But a heavenly soft bed in a military room that looked unfamiliar at first, but it didn't take a genius to figure out where I was, especially after remembering the craziness of yesterdays events."Good morning, Fräulein."

"Morning..." I mumbled back, recognizing the familiar voice. He called me Fräulein, which is German for 'miss' or 'young lady' and I shyly decided to hide my probably hideous morning face underneath the covers in embarrassment, which smell I yet not had get used to. I was so happy that I faced the wall and didn't have to look the boy, Schrödinger, in the eyes.

"It's 5: pm." He said and he sat down at the edge of my bed. I didn't sleep well, so the idea of getting up this early felt idiotic and dumb and impossible. "I'll rip the covers of you unless you get up." I heard his young voice say and could feel a hand grabbing my foot."Why so early?" Was my immediate response to his threat. He gave me no answer to this, and I could no longer feel his hand on my foot so I quickly shot up into a sitting position in order to avoid him depriving me of the warmth underneath my duvet. At the same moment, I realized that I no longer had my handcuffs on me, and looked almost pleadingly at the boy who didn't look the slightest tired at all."Please you must help me. Something strange has happened! Have you seen my-"

"I told you; I'll be hanging on your lock..." Schrödinger interrupted with a sneaky gleam in his eyes, and in his fingers, he twirled around a pair of handcuffs that looked just like the one who had me imprisoned yesterday. I sighed in relief, but couldn't help but wonder how and when he had taken them from me without me noticing. "How did you-" I began, staring at the twirling chains in a confused trance. "Oh, please!" Schrödinger scoffed and captured the end of the handcuffs in his hand with a noise of tinkling sounds from the chains; the satisfaction of looking at the looping metal dies then because it no longer existed. "Even wild animals can slumber freely in their captivity." He said with a sweet smile. "Some of them…" He added less positively with a mumble, more to himself as he looked down at the messy bed sheets.

"Would you please?" I said, giving him both of my hands willingly, wanting them on me as soon as possible to avoid confrontation. His smirk had gotten passionate on his face. "Isn't this a sad sight?" He asked, making me lower my eager hands in mild confusion at his statement. He continued talking, as in answering my voiceless question. "I just assumed that you'd be relived if I released you, but I suppose it's the other way around. It seems like you feel freer in these than out of them." He explained softly as he had gently but firmly grabbed me by the wrists and started look them in."I'm sorry." He grinned up at me, and at the same time he hitched at them rather harshly, the cold metal feeling a bit too tight around my wrists. I jumped slightly at the sudden pain, but I didn't say anything, since his stare had me thoughtful and thrilled. His gloved hands were now stroking the back of my both hands as they slowly left them, without Schrödinger breaking eye contact with me. The air around us was hard to breathe and Schrödinger's red eyes gleamed in that manner that he knew something I didn't, and his shiny lips were in a lopsided smile as we both speechlessly leaned forward. We looked at each other like we were about to kiss, and all of the sudden, I shamefully began thinking about the abandoned condoms and their wrappers in my bedside table and beneath the bed the two of us were sitting on. I could feel my cheeks glow and get warmer. Whoever had lived in this room had probably used this bed for more than sleeping in it, I'm sure. I wondered if Schrödinger knew who he was. I opened my mouth to say something or remain speechless as our noses almost touched, but Schrödinger was one step ahead of me. "Breakfast is ready." He murmured, his words popping a hole in the whole atmosphere we had built up in vain. Then he stood up, leaving me sitting alone in bed underneath the thick cover.

"Inmates don't get breakfast." I hurriedly informed him, not wanting to refer to myself and in other words, I asked him to sit down again and get back to where we were before. "Breakfast is ready."He repeated kindly and had already walked to the entrance and opened the door for me. Not daring to do anything else at the moment, I pushed the covers off me and followed after him without further excuses.

The walk with him didn't really turn out the way I had imagined. He didn't pull at me, or my hands and he didn't even walk alongside me. He wasn't even touching me at all as he walked in front of me, utterly convinced that I would follow him like a little child after a parent.

My eyes had a hard time deciding if they wanted to look at the shimmering blond back of his head, or the sharp elbows that almost masculinity hung casually next to his sides. I began blushing again. The width of his shoulder had grown. The horrid Swastika lingered on his arm like a reminder that we weren't the same. This boy constantly changed how he carried himself. I almost couldn't believe that this was the same person I met yesterday. His aura was suddenly much more stoic, willful and ... cold.

Was I disappointed? Or had I rejected his state of mind and completely forgotten about his mood swings? It was unfair. He had stolen a kiss from me yesterday, and now he was acting just like any other of the Millennium guards."Hurry up." I stumbled after with my wrists captivated in front of me when he ordered me to hurry and I did just as I've been told and walked faster. After hearing that serious order of his, I tried to convince myself that my time here is only temporary and that I will not be here forever and I will not die here. I don't need this catboy on my side to survive this. I don't need anybody. All I need is inner peace. But inner peace if difficult to maintain when thinking about the past, and all I could ever think about was the spontaneous fruity and alcoholic peck on the lips I got yesterday, from this boy who seemed much younger than me.

Our walk to the dining room took longer than it did when I lived in my previous cell, but when we at last got there, watched over by the enormous Nazi cross, I felt a bit nervous. What will happen now? Will we eat together? Will he watch over me too when I'm eating? Does he even eat at all?

"I'll be back in half an hour. I want you to be ready by then." He said and gave me a small smile, already on his way turning back. "Ready for what?" I asked, but he just continued smiling and walking away and did not answer.

_Inner peace._

It was not until he was gone that I discovered that the whole dining room was empty of people. Not only that; I discovered other changes too. Instead of handing over a plate to the old strict food-ladies (who only speak German) and get food knocked off from tough wooden spoons to the hard plastic, the breakfast was a buffet laid out on a large table where you could pick and choose for yourself. So this is breakfast?

I hesitantly made my way over to the breakfast table, worried someone might see me. I didn't have the nerve to examine what was served so I just took whatever was nearest me and modestly filled a half-plate, half-bowl with purplish yoghurt, snatched myself a spoon that was too small, and rushed to the loneliest and most discreet table that was placed in the corner. I only allowed myself to breathe when I had sat down. While I was fiddling with my yoghurt, I began thinking about my former colleagues from the Hellsing Organization. I wished they were here with me right now. Another thing I wished for was that none of the Millennium soldiers would enter the dining room. But you can't always get what you want…

Just then, a number of about ten men made themselves noticed with cackling voices drenched in German accents.

_Inner peace._

I only looked at them until I caught someone's eye, then I glanced busily down at the purple cream and put my tiny spoon in and out of it. I had never felt as alone and exposed in front of them as I felt now. This whole situation made me think of middle school somehow; when the students from the higher classes entered the cafeteria like they owned the whole building, and you sat there, alone or with a few friends, or even with a teacher, like a vegetable. The problem is that I am completely by myself right now, trapped inside the corner I picked for myself and no friends at my table to back me up and the teachers has gone for coffee break in the staff room. I did everything I could. I refused to look up from my plate. But the more you want to be left alone, the more the bullies enjoy tormenting you. I had to learn this the hard way. I almost dropped my spoon in the uneaten yoghurt as I could here a voice hover above my head. "Mooove, inmate!"

This might appear awkward, what comes up next, but after being referred to as 'inmate', it changes your perspective on things and you immediately get into this 'fight or flight-mode', which in Millennium Organization often gets converted into 'flight or flight-mode', because if you choose to talk back at an order, you chose to get yourself in big trouble.

Now for the awkward part then. My flight-mode kicked in and I stood up in a flash and grabbed my plate-bowl, making the unknown stranger step back in a clever instinct, because the small spoon had jingled to the table and splashed purple in his direction. My chair had sounded embarrassingly loud and I had earned more attention from soldiers picking food at the buffet table and my fumbling hands almost dropped the plastic tableware entirely. For just a second, my eyes met a pair of wide green eyes, and it was then that I discovered that he did not belong to the group of cackling men that came in. They had already settled themselves elsewhere, or were still deciding their breakfast.

I was alone, I was embarrassed, and I was terrified. He was alone too, and he was grinning at me, and the little show I just had performed. Before I would take the flight-mode to the next level, his shocked eyes which had got amused, turned into a pair of concerning confusion and he made a motion with his gloved hand. It was a soothing motion, like he wanted to calm an aggressive dog. He snickered deeply. "What are you doing? I'm just messing around with you. Remain… please. Is this seat taken?" He put down his jam-packed plate and sat in front of me, beginning to remove his gloves. I slowly sat down into the chair again, watching him curiously as his voice nestled into my mind in recognizing and made itself felt in my thoughts. _His green eyes shared my curiosity when he glanced up from his food that he was preparing. He seemed pleased that I had been seated again. _"What's your name, girly?" He asked with a genuine smile. He had no German accent. He must be a volunteer of some sort. "I didn't mean to frighten you like that. Therefore I ask of your name, since the term 'inmate' made some of your yoghurt go to waste…" He snickered again and watched the surface of the table that was stained like a little child had been eating here. That snicker…

"Is that really all you going to eat by the way?" He asked, mentioning to the pool of purple in my deep plate that at some point had got me sick to my stomach. So much had he said, yet all I remembered was his first words. _'Mooove inmate.'_I couldn't stop staring at his face, he didn't look as scary as some of the other soldiers did but he was still a soldier, a soldier with a weapon and a duty, and short auburn hair and green eyes and he was…

_'Mooove inmate.' _

"You're Sir daddy-moo!" Were the first words I ever said to the man face to face, and the flight or flight mode kicked in just as quickly as the kind and curious face of his faded into nothing. There was no turning back now. I had talked back to a bully, perhaps being a bully myself by calling him such a disgraceful thing, and there was no teacher around to make us be friends again. I had to sort that matter out myself.

After seeing his baffled expression; I instantly regretted what I just had called him. But after seeing his face crack up into yet another snicker I felt somehow relieved. I tried to mirror his smile submissively, but mine probably faded next to his white straight rows of teeth that were still exposing themselves in attractive laugher. I almost felt moved when he even had to lay down his knife and fork to be able to control his laughter, and wipe the corners of his eyes. "Jesus Christ!" He cried out, grabbing a napkin and wiped his smiling mouth. I went from impolite, to full of regret, to relieved, to moved and now, a mix of startled and guilty. Was this the right time to apologize?

"You do realize that that's the very first thing you ever said to me?" His recalling question was coated with an excited voice. It sounded like he could not even believe it himself, because his words carried a amazed character. I smiled awkwardly, starting to shift in my chair. "I'm sorry, maybe I should-"

"No please stay! I'm not offended. I just thought it was comical. So, what's your name, sweetheart?"

_Please stay. What's your name, sweetheart._

_Are those commands?_

I glanced towards the exit as I slowly leaned back into the chair again. I tried not to look nervous when I looked into his bright eyes and told him my name. He told me his name was **Jack** and that he'd been working as a guard within the Millennium Organization since he was _17 years old!_Even though he was in his early 40's, he didn't look that old at all. We talked with each other for a few more minutes and I can honestly say that I really enjoyed myself and could even relax in his presence. We blend in well with the chattering chaos of soldiers and guards, and for a second, I didn't even feel like a prisoner here. I suppose I had gotten myself a teacher at my table.

"So do you have a boyfriend?" He suddenly asked, making me feel a bit uneasy."Not really." I said quietly, feeling my face heat up in embarrassment and hoping he wouldn't dig deeper into the subject. I knew it was just a harmless little question, but who wants to be reminded of their single life on a daily basis?

"My wife is at home in _Dresden__._ She's working in a post office." He said, grabbing a toothpick and toyed with it in his fingers."Oh..." I said foolishly. I didn't have much to say about that. I was happy for him, but I couldn't help but feel bad for his wife, who must miss him so. She couldn't know if he'd come home or not. A war is ahead of us, after all. "Do you have any children?" I asked carefully, my face already settling into a expression of compassion."Oh! Hell no!" He answered quickly and laughed, mocking my question, like it would be his worst nightmare. I stared down awkwardly, feeling dumb. "I don't think we'll get there." He said more kindly, perhaps not wanting me to believe that I said something wrong to him. "I'm not sure our relationship is that perfect, either." He continued and I was again looking at him and listening. "But it feels good to have somebody out there. It makes you remind yourself that it is a world outside, and this is only temporary. Otherwise, you'll turn completely mad, love." He explained to me, putting a long finger to his temple. He really talked like this was a prison, not only for me and my trainees but even for some of the men, and it made me even more frightened of this place than anything. He was working here, so he couldn't do much about it, other than quitting completely if it became too much for him. But I was a prisoner here. I didn't have a choice. That's the difference between us.

"What's with that gloomy face of yours?" He asked me, waving his toothpick in front of my face before putting it in his mouth.

"It's not that bad. At least you're cute. I mean, look at these guys!" He murmured with the small stick in-between his lips, mentioning to the soldiers who had a big feud with the dishwasher once again. I couldn't help but smile at this man.

"That's the pretty smile I missed." Jack said, biting his toothpick and tried to smile at me while chewing on it, and he made it work for him because he managed to look absolutely gorgeous while doing it. He was so kind to me. Not in a creepy way like some of the others were, but in a genuine, honest and sweet manner. I couldn't believe that he thought that way about my smile, and here I thought his smile was impossible to compete with from the very beginning. Even after having him named Sir Daddy-Moo, he gave me that. I don't get compliments often about my smile, so it was very nice to hear that for a change.

"Thank you so very much." I said dumbly, by wanting to show him how moved I truly was. I needed to tell him something too. "Your eyes are pretty." I said shyly, wanting to give him that. Because with the contrast of his tanned skin and auburn hair, those green orbs almost popped out of his face like Northern Lights in a dark sky. I felt the need to mirror his kindness, so it felt very good to get that off my chest. Jack was smiling back at me, the toothpick almost dropping from his mouth.

"Oh they really are, aren't they? Won't you look at those…"

The voice that spoke did not belong to Jack. I felt shivers ran down my spine at his sudden presence. He was sitting in the chair next to me, his hands playing curiously with my silver spoon. His eyes seriously examined Jack's in some kind of morbid fascination while getting his dressed fingertips lilac with yoghurt that smudged onto the quality fabric of his white gloves from the small cutlery.

Jack spit out his toothpick onto his empty plastic plate. "Schrödinger." He acknowledged."Jack..." Schrödinger said casually while nonchalantly toying with my spoon, just like Jack had with the toothpick in his bare fingers. So these two obviously they knew each other. I didn't know what to do or say. But one thing was certain, it was impossible for me to take back my compliment about Jack's pretty eyes now. All I could think about was how Schrödinger could carve somebody's eyes out if he really wanted to. I'm so stupid! I should've left when I still had the chance! I finished my bloody yoghurt 15 minutes ago, so why was I still here?

"Are you responsibility for this?" Schrödinger asked Jack, nodding coolly sideways at my direction without even glancing at me. _This, _he had said. "I do not." Jack answered Schrödinger's question, even though I could see he was not found of the way he had pronounced me and gave me a short wary gaze."But joining ´this´ at breakfast has been a great pleasure." He said and smiled at me, but I felt nothing. He couldn't flatter me anymore. All I could feel was the urge to hide underneath the table. Accepting my silence, Jack said goodbye to us."If the two of you don't mind, I'm off to my duty." Jack rose in perfect synch with the signal that pulled certain soldiers into their missions and left me and Schrödinger by ourselves after pulling his removed gloves back on."How could you say that about me?" I said as quietly as I could, glancing at Schrödinger with a mysterious sadness inside when Jack was far away enough from our table. He didn't answer my question as his eyes bored themselves into the back of Jack's head as he headed towards the dishwasher along with his other fellows. Schrödinger didn't look at me until Jack had officially left the cafeteria. His reddish eyes looked much redder than they used to, almost vampire-like crimson, and for the first time his lips didn't grin as they usually did most of the time. He leaned back in his chair, finally letting go of the sticky spoon he held. His arms, along with his sharp elbows crossed over his chest and he transferred yoghurt onto his uniform without a single care in the world and it made me really uncomfortable. When I looked at the abandoned spoon on the table in front of us, I discovered that it had been twisted like a corkscrew, and I looked back at Schrödinger in terror who was waiting for my attention. The smallest of smiles was gracing his lips and he almost looked like a normal person, and his normality was somehow horrifying.

"Let me escort you back to your room." He said in a sickening sweet voice.

* * *

Schrödinger eyed me in the weak light from the corner in my room. The door was only centimeters away from him so he could easily walk out if he wanted to. But he didn't. I sat in a small sofa that I'd discovered next to the wardrobe, not far away from the nightstand. I sat like a little child in a meeting with their teachers and parents in school. My knees joined each other as my calves parted slightly to the floor. My hands rested in my lap and my head hung slightly, some of my bangs covering my eyes. "Are you going to keep standing there?" I asked in a very low voice that I could barely hear myself.

After another silence escort, now from the cafeteria, Schrödinger hadn't left my side, and he hadn't said a single word. Every time I looked at his face, I saw his perpetual smirk and gleaming eyes with a feeling that was impossible for me to describe. I was gambling with the idea to confront him again, but last time I did it, I got a improper kiss on my conscience, so I do not know if it was a good choice to make, given to his behavior on this day. I sighed and leaned back in the sofa, giving in, in order to face him once again. I could feel just how confused I was, and how my worried eyes were fighting their own battle to even be able to keep looking at him. He could undoubtedly see how frustrated I was. Because just by looking at him was a struggle for me, and he was aware of that. After tilting his head slightly, he closed his eyes and his smirk got replaced with a sweet smile. He said my name, and began walking slowly towards me."Did you enjoy your breakfast?" He asked, mouth smiling and eyes still closed, even though he was walking. His fingers twitched, traces of yoghurt still on his gloves.

"Don't come near me." I sat up more properly. That's when his eyes opened. "Maybe it was a bad idea to leave you alone... You told me inmates did not get breakfast after all…" He wondered out loud. "I didn't know you would be so easy that you would choose to sit with some stranger." He said innocently. "He sat down with me. He even asked to." I said, strictly. My serious voice and his nonchalant voice rattled off each other between the walls. He was about one and a half meter away from me as he kneeled down in the middle of the room on the carpet. His feet balanced his form, allowing him to lean on his elbow that was placed on one of his thighs; His chin was resting in one of his hands, smiling and looking at me from his effortless position that would make any other person look overworked. But Schrödinger, he made everything easy. He made everything impossible possible. He always had this look in his eyes that he knew something everyone else didn't, but this stare was overwhelming. His mischievous eyes concealed the thoughts of a world that I did not want to share with him. He looked so incredibly satisfied. "Well so nice of him. What a gentleman, that Jack." He let out a small chuckle and calmly continued."It's not hard to ask a person to leave, so _it is your fault_." He said, tilting his head in order to make him look even more innocent.

"What's my fault?" I asked. An unpleasant silence breathed in the room, leaving me desperate for answers."Schrödinger. What's my fault?" I repeated, this time sounding more frantic, and almost on the verge of tears. Even though I had no idea what he was playing at, I've gotten a very bad feeling. I had to leave his eyes and look at something else so I would get distracted and could breathe and think properly."This isn't funny anymore. What do you want?" I looked at him but it didn't take long before my eyes bounced back to what I'd stared at earlier. Schrödinger stood up and cleared his throat. He closed the space between us. For the first time, he towered over me but all I could do was avoid his gaze with a frown. I felt my cheeks heat up. What was going on?

My heart raced as he kneeled down again, this time right in front of me. His fingers guided my face towards his, his reddish eyes slowly melting the frown off my face. "Quit acting weird." He whispered, and that was it for me. Have you ever gotten this feeling when something upsets you so much that it's hard for you to even breathe properly? I was counting every single one of my breaths that seemed to get deeper and deeper. My heart arched, and every breath became clearer. My dull eyes looked helplessly into his while my face wanted to get closer. My hand was holding his that was still near my face. Our foreheads met. My eyes stayed on him and never closed. We both took a moment. None of us had premonitions of the next. I couldn't see it in its very own glory, but the smirk was on his face. I took one last breath before I said to him with a low, hoarse voice, "I hate you."

I squeezed his hand as hard as I could before I released it. There was that silence again. I pulled away from him and succeeded to stand up despite the cramped space and walk towards the door. I didn't know if he was smirking or smiling or neither, but for the first time, his silence pleased me. I held the door open for him as he slowly rose from the floor in front of the couch, his blond bangs hanging in front of his shadowed face. He moved towards me and would just exit the room when I stopped him with my arm. There were a couple of things I needed to know before he left."We just met yesterday." I said.

"We did." He said, his eyes lighting up in realization, but he still didn't look at me, probably because what I told him seconds ago."And you stayed with me for a while last night." My shy words disappeared along with his grinning lips. He looked at me with a mild frown, eyes still full of the unknown."No I didn't." He said carefully and thoughtfully. He ducked underneath my arm and appeared outside, now standing in the hall, leaving me just as confused as him in the doorway.

"But we-" I stopped myself, my arm leaving the doorframe as I slowly turned around to face him. "We what _?" He turned around too, adding my name to the question. I'd never seen him frown like this before. His gaze almost darkened in its mischievous grandeur. Schrödinger could read something on my face."Did you-" He stopped himself, only to think again with a curious frown and a bemused grin, but it didn't last long before he caught up with himself and filled out his horrible question. "_Did you __**fantasize**__ about me?" _He asked, his red eyes so big you could see all the white around them, his grin only extending on his features. I began blushing furiously as I glanced at the area all around us, nervous somebody might have overheard him. I started to sweat, and I didn't know how to react to the absurdity in this situation.

"W-why you I know we had… **kissed**, I-" I hopelessly stammered, but Schrödinger was too taken by the unexpected news that he didn't have a single care in the world about what I was trying in vain to convince him with**. **The only word that seemed to have caught Schrödinger's attention was ¨kissed' and he looked both overjoyed and flabbergasted where he was standing.

"I don't believe you! – You really had a human-wet dream about me!" He exclaimed like he had relieved the secrets of the universe."How was it?" He asked curiously with a mad undertone, his pearly white teeth showing inside his open mouth in awe. I stared at him in utter shock, too bowled over to participate in this conversation, before slamming the door shut, and locking it (with a small chain that was attached to the wall) like the devil himself was after me, and I prayed that he would just stay away from me.

His cheeky false claims deprived me of my breath. I turned around and let my back guide me until I was sitting down in front of the door like a human doormat. _"I'm confused..."_ I heard myself whisper, feeling my eyes water with tears. I didn't want to leave my room for a while, and I never wanted to see this boy ever again. I cried in my hands, and when I finally got to my senses and removed them, I discovered purple color underneath my fingernails when I examined my palms. Right then and there, I decided that I wouldn't eat yoghurt for a while.


	4. I've got a funny comin' out of my tummy

I had made a dangerous choice. I had skipped both lunch and dinner. I was lost in the time and had locked myself inside my windowless room. All I was aware of was a loud beeping sound, similar to the one who called the soldiers into their duty, which claimed when it was time for lunch and dinner and both of the brief alarms had been heard, but I still couldn't state a particular time for any of them. The ghosts in my mind played with the thought that I hadn't heard any of the signals at all, and that I had been sitting here for only a few minutes. It was hard to tell. Humans shouldn't be treated this way. We are fragile things with minds as mysterious as outer space.

I tossed and turned in bed; my stomach scaring me with loud beasty sounds. Even though I had devoured half of the fruits in the bowl on my nightstand, it wasn't enough for me. I wasn't foolish enough to eat everything that I had, but I couldn't shake off the empty feeling in my belly either. I couldn't ignore my hunger. I sighed and sat up. I need food.

When I got out from bed and fingered with the lock, I felt like a wild animal going out to hunt for prey. It was easier, and actually possible, for me to get out of this room than it was in my earlier cell, where the locks where on the outside of the doors and the guards decided when you could get out. Something told me Schrödinger was the only person aware that I had changed to this room. I do explain why he had dragged me to breakfast so early in the morning before anyone else in the Millennium Organization. I walked fast in the hallway, giving myself the illusion that I knew what I was doing and what I did wasn't wrong and that I didn't break any rules. I knew I had discovered a wending machine somewhere on this aircraft a few days ago, so that's what I'm looking for. Even though I didn't have any money on me, I still believed that it was the right solution to my problem. When I had turned a few corners and still didn't find it, I just kept walking. This was a bad idea since I was strutting around until I was lost and no longer could find my way to where I left from. Shit. I turned around. The idea of heading back seemed dense. I didn't even remember how I got here. I looked around. It looked like a common room of some sort. I jumped when I felt a hand pull me back by my shoulder. My eyes widened when I recognized the face. "Penelope!" I breathed out. She was one of my friends from the Hellsing Organization."Oh my god. You're alive! We thought we'd lost you!" I felt her arms around me, remembering her smell. It was funny how she still managed to smell like perfume and apple shampoo even though we'd been here for what felt like ages."What are you talking about?" I mumbled in his locks of dark hair. "We didn't see you in the dining room." She said and let go of me.

"Where are the others?" I asked, worrying something might have happened to them since Penelope assumed I was dead."Don't you know?" She asked me. I shook my head slowly. I gaped."What has happened to them?" I asked, turning cold. "Oh, no silly!" She laughed, unfreezing me. "They're in the evening class**.** You know, they're not obligatory or something, and they're definitely not fun... But they're just for us, and it's always something to do, right? You should go too!" She explained, telling me everything about this _Evening class_ created only for the people who had gotten kidnapped from the Hellsing Organization."I didn't know we had those..." I said, suspiciously. She grabbed my hand."Well come on! This is the only chance for us to be together and relax like we're ordinary people!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me into a random direction. I'm beginning to get used to that by this moment, of course the only thing I could think about was him. Penelope's grip was light and clumsy and she had dropped some of my fingers during our spurt, but it still reminded me of how properly Schrödinger's gloved hand fitted in mine. Of course, Schrödinger didn't run in heeled indoor shoes, neither did he have Penelope's long, dark locks bouncing up and down on his back and a apple scent following after him, but this moment still made me think about the catboy and I was still upset with him for doing what he did and I was upset at myself for even sparing him a single thought of mine.

We now stood outside a door, slightly similar to the doors in the halls where my newly gotten room was. But the darker shade of color on the wall told me it wasn't the same corridor. Penelope sighed and put up her hair into a ponytail when she had let go of my hand.

"Can you believe this _? I haven't showered in ages!" She muttered, even though she looked completely fine to me. "Have you gotten your period yet?" She whispered, looking around us when bringing up such a subject. I shook my head, not even daring to think about that day. We had been here for about a week now and I hadn't seen a single lady onboard. She leaned down slightly."Ann got hers a few days ago. So she went to the nurse. She's like the only nice person here, the only woman in fact, but stay away from the Doctor. He's a total creep." She whispered in a voice too serious for her personality, but I listened to her and believed in every word she said.

When I was about to ask about this Doctor, Ann suddenly appeared beside Penelope, startling me. Ann is a person you can recognize anywhere, with the short jet black hair covered in bright red highlights. Her brown eyes, framed in smoky eyeliner (she carries eyeliner with her wherever she goes) widened when she saw me. Her face was pierced, lip, eyebrow, nose, you name it, so it wasn't that much of a mystery for her to ending up working at the Hellsing organization, where no person cared about what you looked like."Hi _!" She said in a half-surprised and half-joyful voice. She walked over to hug me and patted my back, startling me a bit since she wasn't a very huggy person, except for wrestling, so this was our official first hug together. It was a bit awkward because the two of us weren't as close as her and Penelope, but I guess in a place like this, it doesn't really matter who's friends with who. Ann pulled away from me and was quick to bring up the subject we were discussing before she arrived in her gothic glory. "Stop talking about my period, Pen! I could hear you alright!" She said and hit her playfully on the shoulder. Penelope only showed Ann her tongue and giggled."I've missed you guys..." I said, remembering their childish behavior. Penelope let out a long-lasting "aww" sound and Ann just winked at me."Seen any freaks yet?" Ann asked and looked between me and Penelope with a naughty, playful expression. But she didn't bother to listen to us, since she continued talking."Except for the creepy ass Doctor I saw the hugest girl I ever seen! I mean, I thought _I_ was scary looking but I'm sure I look like a Barbie next to her. Her face was full of tattoos and she was pumped up like she was on steroids! At first I thought she was a dude but then - You seen her too? Orange hair and green eyes..." Ann babbled on, without even giving us an opportunity to speak. Penelope looked both scared and disgusted at the mention of this woman. Ann did look a little bit rough on the outside. She refused to wear anything other than black clothes and she had this constant frown on her face. She was short and had a rather large curvy figure, mostly muscles, she use to say. "No I haven't and I'm very glad because of that!" Pen said. Ann snorted and played with one of her lip piercings. Her black framed eyes looking at me. I shook my head quickly. "No I haven't seen her." I said, but I couldn't help but being curious. "Have you seen some other strange people around here?" Penelope asked me. I swallowed. Just when I was about to forget all about him and move on, he popped into my mind again. But when thinking about it… Would I lie if said no? Schrödinger almost seemed normal in comparison with that _thing_ Ann had just described.

"No." I said quietly, avoiding both of their gazes.

_If I've seen some strange people around here?_

_Only a fourteen year old looking boy with a Hitler youth uniform with cat ears on top of his head and eyes that can shift between bright red and pale pink. He calls himself 'Schrödinger' because he is everywhere and nowhere, and he can disappear into the open air and he can turn spoons into corkscrews._

"No, and I'm grateful for that too!" I added with a smile so fake it was embarrassing. But they both didn't seem to notice since they nodded enthusiastically, and then the door opened. A tall white haired soldier stood in the doorway. Two bright red eyes peeked underneath a cap with the same color as his uniform. Penelope and Ann just walked past him without even giving him a glance. So in their opinion, he wasn't creepy looking? Well he was in mine, and I couldn't stop staring. He didn't move. He didn't speak and he didn't even blink."Hi." I said and waved at him with such carefulness it was silly. I heard Ann burst out in laughter from inside the room and Penelope instantly tried to quiet her down. When those red eyes bored themselves into mine, I quickly sneaked inside the room, very similar to a classic European classroom with even a whiteboard in the front, feeling rather stupid as I sat down between my two friends. The white haired man took his exit and the door locked itself, leaving us alone in this misplaced classroom.

"_Hi?!"_Ann tried to mimic my voice as she elbowed my side rather brutally."You know, that thing doesn't even speak!" She told me like it was the most obvious thing. "She couldn't know that!" Penelope backed me up. "Shut up Pen! I saw you trying to giggle to!" Ann teased. "Yeah maybe, but you've got some nerve laughing like that in front of the Captain!" Penelope scoffed."Like you're the one to talk-"

"Did he lock us in?" I interrupted their little conversation as I stared at the door."Why did he leave us by ourselves?" I added. I looked at Penelope, because she was the only reasonable of the two of them."Oh, we can manage this on our own. But some random person checks on us once in a while..." She said and shrugged. Somebody knocked on the door, the right moment to make us all jump in our seats."Now, already?" I asked, wondering who in the Millennium staff who would check on us so early."No, it's only Kevin." Ann muttered and walked lazily towards the door. "He's always late. Not only at the Hellsing Org. but apparently here as well."

Kevin is a tall, blond guy, a couple of years older than me. He practiced as a receptionist in the Hellsing Organization and is a wealthy young man who is very popular with the ladies. He nodded when he saw me."_ No time no see." He said, and he was right. I haven't seen him around at all. I only smiled at him because I was still nervous about the checking Penelope told me about, and his presence was so sudden. He's another person I don't know that well, but he's in the same level as Ann nonetheless so he isn't just anybody to me. "Are we the only one here?" He asked as he grabbed some books and stuff on a shelf and sat down in the front of the room. We girls were sitting in the back.

"Yep. Naomi and Berry didn't want to come." Ann said, almost bitterly as she sloughed down on the chair again. I'll tell you more about those two later.

So now I knew everything that I needed to know. Everyone was fine. Everyone was alive. So I could finally breathe out at the moment. Maybe everything is just like Jack had said. This was only temporary and soon everything would be over. Yeah, that must be it. We will all probably laugh at this in a few days. Or weeks. Or even-

_**"GROOOWL~"**_

My hand slapped my belly. Kevin turned around to look at me. Ann laughed of course, and Penelope shot me a glance of worry."Haven't you gotten any food?" She asked, her pretty little eyes looking like ones of a puppy."Not really, but I'm okay." I said and managed another half-hearted smile. I didn't want to mention my breakfast, in case they didn't get any and I wouldn't want them to believe I was given any special treatment. I didn't want them to worry about me either.

The time here went on as it went. My hand clutched the pencil I borrowed from Kevin. I didn't have the stuff the others had so I had to borrow a lot of things. Ann told me something about talking with one of the soldiers and ask for books and material, but I rather not. This was fine. I couldn't even focus on anything and all we did was talking, and no working. Exactly like our old schooldays, then.

"But are you certain that the creature you're talking about is a dude?" Kevin asked from where he was sitting in the front, elbows crossed on the backrest of his chair.

"Yeah! I promise! She had boobs and calves and everything!" I tried not to laugh at Ann's taken form; it was like she had seen a ghost or something and wanted to describe it so badly to us, but of course we all believed in her. This place was mad after all. We all laughed, including myself I hate to admit, as Ann tried to mimic the way that androgynous woman walked and talked. Penelope almost fell out of her chair laughing when she looked at Kevin with hungry crazy eyes and eyed him up and down, biting her finger. I laughed too, but I was lucky enough to be able to shut up just when the door burst open.

"What is all of this!? We give you the privilege of doing some great use of time and this is how you spend it? Laughing and talking like the imbeciles you are…" A calm and controlling voice dominated the air in the classroom. Every single one of us couldn't believe our eyes. Before us stood the exact same person Ann had nagged about this evening (and even made fun of!) So of course all of us looked at Ann with knowing eyes and uptight, funny-looking her silently, we all looked at Ann, who looked so embarrassed it was pitiful. Her face was about to turn as red as the highlights in her hair.

"ATTENTION!" Our eyes shot as quickly as they could towards this creature again. Her hands were on her hips and the green eyes glared daggers into all of our souls. She surprised us all when a smirk that almost looked kind entered her hard face. Beside her stood the tall man who had opened the door for us earlier, still with the same, monotonous expression. He almost appeared short next to her. "Look at you all! So young, and-" She paused, trying to find a suitable word for all of us."Human..." Her eyes examined every single one of our faces.

"I am Zorin Blitz. This isn't the last you'll see of me, I assure you." She informed, walking slowly toward us, making us sit upright as a pines in our chairs. After her little walk around the benches she stood beside the man once again, who now was standing in the center in front of the whiteboard. "But of course, I'm not the only one who will be watching over you all. You've all met our captain." She unenthusiastically mentioned to the man beside her.

"But we're not the only one who will… socialize with you." She said, her eyes scanning us like ants underneath a microscope. "Introduce yourself, Catboy!" She ordered, without ending her examination. Kevin was someone she seemed to have a hard time leaving with her eyes. Realizing what Zorin had said lastly, I couldn't care less at her interest in the receptionist as I felt an uncomfortable wave of unwanted attention wash over me like an endless wave, even though no one I could see had their eyes on me.

We all could hear footsteps behind us, but I'm certain that the steps did only affect me overwhelmingly when walking through my mind and my mind alone with their devious feet and matching my heartbeats. Kevin turned around, and even though he was sitting in front of me, his blue eyes did not look at me. He looked almost wide-eyed at the surface behind us from where he was seated; watching whoever this person was who would introduce himself in the matter of a few seconds. This made Penelope and even Ann look back too. But I didn't. I was already very aware of whom this person was; because when he slowed down for a second, only to gently brush his fingertips on the back of my hand that lay still on top of the desk, it couldn't be any other person in the world. Time stood completely still. It was like he himself had closed the meaning of time and space. His touch was soft as a feather and temporarily like a fallen tear. He wore a new pair of gloves without purple invading the whiteness of the expensive fabric. I did everything in my power in order to not look at him and pretend that he didn't touch my hand and that nothing had happened. But most importantly; I was worried some of the souls in the room had seen that small, innocent contact. The back of my hand tingled, and it felt like he had put something on top of it, but every time I looked at it, nothing was there. I didn't want to, but I couldn't resist looking at him, whose own eyes looked at all of us. Kevin, Ann, Penelope and me. And he was smiling hugely, but that smile wasn't for me only. It was for all of us and a funny sensation attacked me in my belly in that realization, which wasn't the right time considering that it was almost completely empty. My hand, that Schrödinger just touched a few seconds ago, placed itself on my belly that felt flat and starving, the back of my hand still tingling from his transitory stroke.

"Guten tag!" He greeted. Everybody mumbled back a greeting of their own and Penelope quickly took this opportunity and whispered quickly to me, _"__Cute__."_ In my ear within the tiny choir of greetings, and all I did was nodding. I didn't feel very well. "My name is Schrödinger. Feel free to ask me if you need anything. I'm everywhere and nowhere." He said and I took a deep breath. Last time he'd said that, he was inside my head. I felt dizzy.

"Me also, of course…"Zorin stepped forward, only to glance down at Kevin with something particular in mind. Penelope and Ann tried to hide their snickering but failed miserly. She was examining poor Kevin just like Ann had done a few moments ago, only the seductive finger between her lips was missing. I gave them warning glances as I tried to shut them up._"Quiet."_ I whispered as quietly as I could. But not quietly enough.** "Who was that?" **Zorin asked, looking at the three of us in the back of the room. "Or should I perhaps ask; What was that? Because I'm pretty sure who the troublemaker here is…" Zorin's hungry eyes had just left Kevin and were glancing crazily at me instead, but in another way. Indeed, everybody was looking at me, including the white haired man. Including Schrödinger.

"Nothing." I said, knowing that she had heard me and knew it was me who had said ´Quiet´ and expected an answer. "Nothing? I didn't hear nothing." She hissed.

"I'm sorry. I was only trying to create silence here in the back row. I didn't mean to disturb you in any way." I explained with my heart in my throat."And that didn't really work out so perfectly, I can see. Who's talking now sweetheart?" She gave me a stern look. I saw Kevin cover his sniggering mouth in the front. That traitor... Zorin saw that Kevin had sniggered, but she didn't say anything about it.

_Oh, great. Kevin is the teacher's pet then. _

"Acting like animals when we're not around is one thing. But being disrespectful, even in our presence is a huge deal." I blushed as I sank lower and lower in my seat. I felt so embarrassed. I would never mock Ann or anyone else ever again. This is what true shame feels like.

"It's overall unacceptable." She finished. Her gleaming eyes drifted towards Kevin again as she stood next to Schrödinger. Oh, yeah I had almost forgotten about him. Schrödinger.

When my blush had faded, I took the courage to look at him. To my surprise he was looking at me too. Me and me only with that indescribable feeling in his eyes, that looked very pink at this moment. And for this moment only, there was only the two of us in the room. Until he decided to speak.

"Can you stand?" It was almost like a hallucination when I saw his lips move. But it wasn't. "Excuse me?" I asked. My eyed widened. Even Zorin looked a bit taken back at his request."I haven't seen you before. So I think you should let me have a good look on you." He said, and pardon my language, but he was so full of shit. He was lying. He was lying to me, and he was lying to everyone and he was even lying to himself. Just when my embarrassment had vanished, it came right back at me. I was too speechless to even fight back on this one. This boy was full of surprises. Awful, horrible surprises. After an intruding glance from Zorin. I did as he'd said, and I stood up in the classroom. But that wasn't enough for him. Schrödinger did a discreet motion with his hand that told me to step to the side and expose my whole body instead of standing behind the desk. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse than this, I had to move to stand in-between me and Penelope's seats, for Schrödinger, including Zorin and the Captain, to gawk at my whole being. My face heat up under the weight of all eyes upon me. Schrödinger smiled with satisfaction and triumph; his ears perking up like a cat seeing his owner coming home."A new classmate, huh? What's your name, girly?" Zorin asked, pointing her weapon at me. I should answer her with my tongue and lips, but instead my inner organs decided to revolt like a starving orchestra. **"GROOOWL~~"**

* * *

_**No.**_

_No. No. No. No. No. _

I bit my lips, my tense face exposed to the world. My captivated hands covered my stomach in a brief attempt to conceal the involuntarily noises. At first, my eyes had dropped to the floor in embarrassment but now I discovered that my gaze shifted around the classroom, asking for help. Zorin's loud sight made me look at her in soundless angst. She was rolling her eyes, but at least she didn't laugh at me, or struggling to hold the laughter within, like some – Ann and Kevin – was doing on my expense.

"Get her something to eat before she'll collapse. I don't know how long _humans_ can live on an empty stomach..." She ordered someone sullenly, without any trace of compassion in her voice. She had just gotten enough of my presence and wanted me out of her sight, I assume. "Yes, fräulein!" Schrödinger said voluntarily. He stepped towards me, about to lead me away, but all I wanted to do was sit down and fade away in between Ann and Penelope again, who watched the situation curiously. Schrödinger literally had to drag me towards the exit by the chains on my wrists."No." I whispered as I tried to wiggle out of his grasp but it was too firm. "Not you." I added with meek but genuine refusal. He turned around to face me so promptly that our faces almost touched. "Indeed I must, unfortunately." He whispered back with a smirk of mockery. But his lips didn't move. His words were echoing through my head like he was in there."No!" I yelled, in a last attempt to break free from him, but he had already managed to take us all the way to the only exit in the front of the room beside the whiteboard. I'm sure everyone in the class had heard my cry as Schrödinger had slammed the door shut after us. As soon as we were outside, he led me to the nearest wall in the corridor and let my back face it; tip-toeing so he could look me in the eyes domineeringly. His Cheshire-expression sent shivers down my spine. We gazed into each other's eyes silently; both waiting for something to happen, but I decided to not make anything happen. "Don't touch me, please." I said."I'm not." He replied and he was right. He wasn't touching me. Both of his hands were on either side of me, but they weren't on my body. I blushed at my own ignorance. His palms were placed on the wall, beside my shoulders. But of course, I didn't say that he was touching me either, I simply asked him not to. He leaned in towards me. "Unless that's what you wish for." He whispered softly on my earlobe without going against my words by putting his hands on me. I was always surprised at how tender he could be, but even though he could made me feel wanted and out of the ordinary, I just couldn't get over what he'd said to me this morning. The unpleasant reminder urged me to duck underneath one of his arms and walk a few steps away from him. I stood quietly with my hands rubbing my temples.

"What am I even doing here?" I muttered to myself. Schrödinger appeared in front of me again."What about some food? You can find leftovers in the kitchen." He encouraged with a grin and turned on his heels; moving along the corridor with his arms folded behind his head. I didn't want to follow him. I couldn't follow him. I didn't want to be hurt all over again. I tried to think of other ways of getting food, even though his offer would've been the easiest way out of hunger.

Well the wending machine idea didn't really work out as I planned, so I just had to figure out something else. I had to go either way. I had to leave him now before it's too late. I had to. I had- I had a bowl of fruit in my room. I could finish the fruit I had left and manage until tomorrow. My eyes widened as I looked at the back of his head. I still stood dead in my tracks, still unmoving. Schrödinger kept on walking like he was certain that I was following him. Making sure he was far away enough, I took off in the opposite direction. It didn't take long before I heard my name ring softly in the air."_!~ Where do you think you're going?" Schrödinger asked, his voice plain but playful. "To my room." I shouted back carelessly, which perhaps was a bit foolish. He swiftly caught up with me and blocked my path.

"Let me come with you." He said after I'd settled down."No." I breathed, out of breath from running."Aww… Why not?" He asked, tilting his head to the side in confusion. I glared at his ears and then at his face. His mount smiled but I could see a hint of disappointment in his eyes. I was disappointed too. I couldn't even get further than out of the corridor. "You know why…" I said. My eyes sharpened at the memory nestled between my room and the hallway with rooms where he'd denied what he did and made a fool out of me."Because you hate me?" He stated, trying to sound positive in his guess, but something dragged down his voice. I was looking at him weirdly. Even though I was aware that I told him that, it sounded wrong and false coming from him. "But I don't hate you __**."**_ He said, voice back to normal. His ears perked up, making me notice they weren't ´happy´ before. "I want to be with you. But if you go back to your room now, you won't get any food. So come with me and we can sort everything out!" He smiled so hugely his eyes closed in the progress. "Perhaps you won't even hate me anymore…" He said, his eyes half opened as his long eyelashes shaded his ruby orbs. I felt my heart melt a bit in guilt, but I wouldn't let him come at me. I clenched my fists as I stepped back a little. "I sorry." I said, hearing how my voice trembled in rejection. I didn't really want to leave him like this, but I knew it was for the best."Please." He asked, his smile growing. I sighed in hesitation. "I can't-"

"Please!" He shouted like a child, and his behavior made me really uncomfortable. When he moved his hand carefully towards me, I didn't know what he wanted to do, but assuming it would be the start of something less gentle, I slapped his hand away from my sight and walked past him. A tug on the lower part of my arm made me swirl around to stand face to face with him. His eyes shot me like a gun. I was really getting tired of this. "What did I ever do to you?" He asked innocently and my blood began boiling on many different levels. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a long time before opening them and started to speak.

"We met yesterday." I began. "Yesterday and we still don't know each other. The very first thing you did to me was sexual harassing me in the cafeteria, and then you drag me out to a dangerous place, almost killing both of us! You moved me into another room where some poor man doesn't live anymore because of you, and then you kissed me. You kissed me! You kissed me! YOU KISSED ME and I can say it how many times I want because I was there and I know it happened. You know it happened too so don't you dare deny it again." I was leaned forward and out of breath when I looked into his eyes and had finally answered his question.

Schrödinger's smile was small. The end of the corner of his mouth was drawn up and his eyes were full of understanding when he was staring at me calmly. This kind of expression had me doubt that he was just a little boy. His eyes illuminated when he approached me speechlessly, making me back away with my upper body - I refused to step away - and my spine supported my firm position. I looked down at him in horrified expectation. He had to bend his head up slightly in order to remain our eye contact as he came closer and closer. Just when I felt that I would fall backwards, I felt his skinny but strong arms around my waist; the chain on my handcuffs was the only thing between us as he had forced his gloved hands through the gaps between my upper arms and chest. I had no other choice but to remain the way I was. I couldn't escape from this, considering that my hands were limited rigidly by our love handles and I was stuck in his embrace.

I shuddered when his body pressed against my defenseless one. His body felt both big and small, and thousands of things were running through my mind. He was so close that we no longer could look into each others eyes, so instead he had put his face in the hook of my neck. He inhaled my scent at my collarbone and reached up to whisper "Can I do it again?" He was ready to kiss me. I didn't know what to say. The chain stuck between us felt thinner than a hair strand. The pads of his fingertips danced along my back. I felt his lips nibble at the delicate skin of my throat as he sniggered in delight at my speechless reaction. His surprisingly soft ears and blonde messy hair tickled my neck and the surface underneath my chin, and he softened his grip around my waist in order to stand on his tip-toes in a valiant attempt to tower over me. I closed my eyes tightly and pierced my lips together. When I felt his lips nudge mine, I succeeded to push him away from me, using the wrists of my captivated, backward curved hands. His limp arms around me got thorn of me like a plaster on a scratch. He stumbled back to his normal height, looking at me just as excitingly he had done before he tried to kiss me.

"I'm going back to my room." I explained, feeling both guilty and relived at the same time. Schrödinger gave one last attempt to a perfect smirk as he tried to grab me again, but I wouldn't let him."I told you to not touch me!" I shouted at him, like this was the last moment I was capable of saying no to him. At first he thinks it's a joke, but then, the smirk disappears from his face. His hands dropped to his sides like he'd dropped a pile of expensive porcelain plates. He held his head up; the position reminding me of when I saw him for the first time; Straight as a pine.

"Fine." He said in a surprisingly smooth voice. He didn't smile anymore. He didn't grin or smirk or even smile with his eyes. Instead, his gaze had darkened as he so suddenly stepped towards me and harshly tugged my chin towards his level, instead of adjusting his own height like he's done so many times before to bring our faces to the same level. His red eyes looked at my face for a moment, searching after a feeling neither of us could find. "Then starve." He whispered harmoniously, coolly pushing my face away from his with his slender fingers.

* * *

"_I didn't know cats could smile_." Was Alice Kingsleigh's father Charles' response to her nightmares, which her own answer to his unawareness was _"Neither did I."_

If I could speak my mind in that conversation, I would tell them both:

"_Once you ever meet a cat that can smile, never give it a reason not to."_


	5. Sleepover at Jack's

"You know I wouldn't let you waste away like that…" Schrödinger whispered, discarding his past cold words that had left his lips in the same harmonious undertone. "I know." I whispered back as I gazed into his eyes, even though I had my doubts and remembered how awful it felt to be left alone in the corridor like that. But he had found me. He had found me after I had gotten lost in wiggly corridors and spiral staircases, so it must mean something. A smug smirk formed on his face then; a smirk I've grown to admire. He moved in closer to me, until my whole body was pressed to the wall behind. To have him this close to me somehow made him manlier; he was no longer the same giddy boy with his childish disposition. Soft scarlet eyes looked at me almost impatiently, whipping life into my senses and eagerly poking every fiber in my being."This is not appropriate." I said somehow unwillingly, even though you could hear a playful tone somewhere in my voice. He laughed calmly. The fabric surrounding his thumb was touching my bottom lip."What do you call it then?" He asked as he let his thumb brush down my lips towards my chin, holding it gently. His gaze had brought me down to the floor. He contentedly knelt down before me, still awaiting my answer.

"Inadequate" The complicated word was thought twice, and blurted out hesitantly from my lips like a bee flying out my mouth. His eyes then looked at me with heavy eyelids, almost making him look sleepy as his expression melted into desire. My fingers had found his visible tie, slowly lacing themselves around the fabric of it.

"Inadequate" I repeated, testing the word once again. Schrödinger lowered himself to me and whispered my name laughably, like what I'd just said was something extremely bold. He found my free hand. He straddled me and I let out a moan softly, leaving me shocked at myself. Still, he was staring half-lidded and hazily at me. It made my heart pound and when his eyes closed, it was a sign. Our fingers embraced each other's hands, like we, as one individual, prayed for the upcoming moment. It didn't take much energy for me to stretch my neck and kiss him, but he kissed me back heartbreakingly slowly and the hand that weren't grabbing mine reached down; diving under the fabric of my shirt and it was hard to keep up with his unpredictable behavior. His hand made contact with my warm stomach as he stroked it, kneading it with his fingers. The fabric on his gloves felt cold and silky-smooth. He pulled away from me. He looked at me. Then he kissed me again.

I felt something wet on my abdomen. Was this normal? Was this supposed to happen? My hand dropped his tie to find his hand that had gone underneath my shirt and was traveling towards my upper parts, a violent blush painting my face. My eyes widened in confusion when the palm of my hand made contact with something soaked. When my hand finally found his, more liquid exaggerated…

I pulled away from the kiss and pulled up my shirt. Schrödinger's eyes gleamed. When I looked down, I spotted both of his hands on either side of my waist, the white gloves covered in my own blood. My whole stomach looked like a big black hole. I wanted to scream but when I opened my mouth; only blood gushed out like a waterfall. Schrödinger beamed as he pulled his hair back with his fingers; my blood getting mixed with his blonde hair and furry ears.

My stomach was pounding as hard as my heart. Schrödinger examined his hands before leaning in towards me, but before our lips even nudged he whispered with a dark, unexplained tone,

"Inadequate."

* * *

The only sensible reaction to this kind of dream was to ensure that my solar plexus were intact. I was breathing heavily as my hands were pressed firmly against my unharmed stomach. I had returned to my room after Schrödinger left me starving in the corridor, only to discover something terrible. The fruit bowl on my nightstand had vanished without a trace and all I could do, and felt like doing was sleeping off my hunger, but I only woke up even hungrier. It felt like my stomach had eaten itself and that I was on my beginning of dying. My survival instinct took over me and I immediately ran out of my room and into the halls. I ran and ran and ran, as long as I had energy. I had no sense of time whatsoever, but if I didn't find food; I'd still find somebody, anybody, who could help me. They can't let their prisoners starve to death, can they?

A wave of dizziness swept over me as I turned a corner and I fell headlong to the floor. I sat on top of my knees and wanted to get up as fast as I could, but I couldn't. My head was hurting like I had a migraine. I don't know how long I had been sitting there and felt sorry for myself but my heart jumped when I heard a familiar chuckle, and a voice.

"Is this a bad time to order you to move, inmate?"

I turned around and I couldn't believe how blissful I was seeing him, even though I barely had known him for more than an hour. It was Jack. The kind soldier gave me the last energy to stand up on my feet and… embrace him.

I can't explain why I did what I did. He just seemed to be the perfect person who I was in need of in a moment like this. Because when he stood there in the weak ceiling light. His emerald green eyes mocking me with mature playfulness and his auburn locks framing his smiling face; I longed for him, and I couldn't find a better person to comfort me after everything I've been through. The tall man almost stumbled back at my sudden action and his big hands hesitantly patted my back. I couldn't blame him. Since my hands was limited I sort of dived into his torso, because I couldn't hug him like I normally hugged people, so this was the best embrace I could offer him at the moment. He stammered my name in genuine shock. That's when it happened. Two pair of red eyes occupied my mind; haunting me even in mild consciousness in Jack's presence. Even though my eyes were closed, they appeared in the back of my eyelids and I let out a loud, almost inhuman scream as I clung even harder to the Millennium soldier, my nails digging into his back like sewing nails on a stuffed pillow. That's exactly one of those screams you might hear in a horror movie. There's nothing better I can compare with to describe. I didn't even recognize my own voice.

"What on earth happened to you, _?" He asked as calmly as he could manage, but I could hear the panic in his voice. I took his reaction very seriously and it scared me, and only encouraged my vulnerability. It somehow made this situation even more real, and it terrified me so much that I was shaking. I began sobbing unpleasantly loudly into his broad chest. His good smell and presence calmed me, but it was my own person that was the problem. My behavior was head over heels unmanageable for both of us and that realization made squeamish. "SOMETHING DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT!" I shouted in terror, while my tears soaked his uniform.

All I remember from there was how he removed my handcuffs and carried me effortlessly in his arms to take me to another place and all I could think about was how warm and human Jack's hands were in comparison with Schrödinger's. Jack didn't wear any gloves that concealed his body heat, or movements or bodily feelings. Jack's actions were _raw_. They were genuine and trustworthy.

"Not a single child will be born here." He said suddenly and I could see that he was looking down at me. "What?" I asked and pulled away to look at him properly. We were in his room, I realized. Familiar to my own, yet different. He gave me a bright smile.

"We can't go on like this. What's bothering you _?" He asked kindly. His put his palms on my shoulders, his green eyes staring at me; awaiting an answer. I was standing, I realized, and his action made me wobble on my feet. I took a deep breath. It was so much, but there was only one thing I could think of. "Jack…" I said gloomily. I hated myself for beginning to cry again. He led me towards the bed gently so I wouldn't fall to the floor again.

"Food." I said. Food.

And he must've understood, because moments later I was slurping noodles and ate portions of portions of sandwiches with him with tea. One of the few differences in our rooms was that he had a little station where he could cook, including a toaster, a microwave and an electric hob. He also had an air conditioner, a small bathroom and a little window above his desk. Dining with him, I realized two things; according to the benefits he had, he must be a soldier of high status, in comparison with the original owner of my room who didn't even have a toilet. And secondly; food really is the medicine to everything.

I was eating with him for the second time in my life, and strangely enough, it wasn't as awkward as it was the first time when we had breakfast. Skipping the sir daddy moo-honorifics this time, we had a comfortable start without any chatter of other people in our presence. It was silent, but in a pleasant way and he didn't ask me many questions, if he didn't make sure my tea was still hot or if I wanted more ingredients on my sandwich. He had given me a blanket to stay warm and I had myself wrapped in it the entire dinner until a began drifting off in a pleasant sleep.

* * *

I heard my name being repeated a few times before I opened my eyes. I found myself in his bed and the blanket that surrounded me was the same blanket Jack had given me. It was warm and smelled good, just like the man in front of me. Jack was looking at me curiously. It felt good to wake up without feeling starving. We smiled at each other, both of us satisfied.

"Thank you so much for everything." I said in the doorway, looking down at my feet. "And I'm so sorry for everything too." I mumbled, feeling dumb. Jack shook his head with a low laugh that almost came out bitterly. "What's the matter with you?" He said and put his bare hand on my cheek, and I wondered if he could feel just how warm I was myself. "Anytime." He filled in with his usual grin, but his emerald eyes soon grew serious. The eyes of a Millennium soldier, they didn't show any emotions. He removed his hand, perhaps regretting touching me in such away, perhaps because he was my enemy, perhaps because he was married. I simply suggested that he must've burned his hand on my coy face.

"Hurry back to your room before your guard finds out that you're gone." He stepped out into the corridor and pointed to one direction.

_My guard? Is that Schrödinger?_

"If you continue this way; you'll end up at the evening class. You'll find your way from there?" I nodded, happily surprised he knew about our classroom.

"Oh, and one more thing!" He disappeared in his room and came back; putting the blanket I slept in around me. Just when I thought I was done blushing, he did this to me. Jack chuckled at my reaction and said "What? You left your scent on it. It wouldn't be okay for me to keep it and I wouldn't wash it if my life depended on it, so it's yours _." He said, and I felt a mixture of emotions that confused me so much that all I ever came to my senses doing was giving him one proper hug, that I had failed giving him before when my hands was restricted.

I thanked him again and when he closed the door, I knew I was all by myself once more. I began walking slowly down the corridor where Jack had told me to go, with the blanket around my shoulders. He told me to hurry, but I had so much in mind that I didn't bother. Just when I was about to pass the classroom, I could hear hurried footsteps behind me, and I instantly regretted my decision not to hurry. The person walked alongside me before I got pulled to a stop."Penelope?" I shouted in a mixture of relief and surprise.

"Tell me everything." She said. Her blue eyes glanced expectantly between my face and the direction I came from."Who was that?" She asked, she just seemed to notice the blanket embracing me. "Oh my god." She whispered, her eyes wide as plates. I began explaining myself, even though I didn't want anyone to know between me and Jack. "It's not like that, I was just-" Penelope grabbed my hand and pulled me into the evening classroom that wasn't in action. "It's not safe out there." She said as her eyes glanced at the gap under the door. The lamps were out, so the bright light from the corridor was the only lights that could illuminate the room. How did she even know the door was unlocked?

"Now, to the more important stuff…" She looked at me. "_. Who was that man? Is he your lover?" She asked excitingly, wanting to hear the boldest story from me.

_Is that the important stuff?_

"What are you talking about? His name is Jack and he just gave me food, that's all. If you want a sandwich yourself, then go ask him." I explained calmly, trying to not make a big deal out of this. Penelope shot me a glare and raised one of her eyebrows. Her fingers pinched the fabric that hung down from my shoulders "Or a blanket! I'm sure he has plenty of these!" I added, trying to protect my honor. She gave me another suspicious look. "Oh my god." She repeated after a while of thinking.

_Abuse not the name of God, Penelope Rhodes. You're from the Hellsing Organization for crying out loud._

"I've sure heard of the Stockholm syndrome - But this!" She gasped and looked around her, like she was searching for anyone or anything to see what was happening. Why did she sound so excited? I frowned at being implicated with the Stockholm syndrome."You've got it all wrong, Pen. We're only friends." I tried, but she only giggled at my words. "I can't wait for Ann and Kevin to hear about this!" She squeaked, but I managed to keep my cool at her proclaim. "Hey, Penelope…" I said suspiciously. "What are you even doing here? It's like… Early in the morning." I said, which she only shrugged at.

"I couldn't sleep." She said.

"But your cell? Your guard? Didn't he notice?" I asked, genuinely confused and curious.

"No big deal…" She said, flashing me a toothy smile of her white straight teeth. "You just have to find the right guard_, put your femininity in use and you'll have your way here. They might have an advantage in numbers, but they're only men." She said and winked, twirling a dark lock of hair in her long-nailed fingers. I shook my head at her. She's always been the pretty friend, so I wasn't that much of a surprise to hear this information. She just had to flatter her eyelashes to make a guard step aside. "You're unbelievable Pen." I said with a deadpanned expression. But deep down, I admired her, and even though I didn't want to admit it myself, I was a bit jealous of her. She only smiled at me again, spoiling me with her affection even though I didn't deserve it.

* * *

My heart was slowly killing itself in anticipation of Schrödinger, who never even came back for me. There was no breakfast, and the guard that led me to dinner was a big scary-looking man with too little sleep in his life. He either didn't care that I was staying in a soldier's cabin, or he was too tired to notice. Perhaps he was a night shifter and got ordered to get me. That must mean that he's been speaking with Schrödinger himself. I couldn't help but wonder if this strange man is one of those who fall victim to Penelope's "flattery"…

Penelope and I had decided to meet during Evening Class again.

I had so much I wanted to tell her, yet so little. I wanted to tell her about Schrödinger. I needed someone to talk to about him and everything that has happened since I met him. But still, another part of me wanted him all to myself.

After an uneventful dinner I got into the small gathering with my trainees again. We sat down and doodled on a respective piece of paper. We wanted to call it art, but I think it was something simple to satisfy our mixed feelings about being trapped here and normalize this flying prison."I wonder who'll guard us today..." Ann muttered, ruining our art minds with her reminder about our captivity. I don't really think she has gotten over yesterday's events with her "friend" Zorin...

After a little choir of "I don't knows" and communal shrugs, I felt Penelope poke me in the side. "Who're _you_ hoping for _?" She teased with a smirk on her Bratz-lips. I only glanced at her. "Oh, Right! Pen told me all about your friend with benefits!" Ann added, quickly recovering from her little depression. I shot up from my seat at the shameful proclaim about me and Jack. How dare they? ."FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?" I snapped at Penelope who just giggled at my fury. Before Kevin even got the opportunity to turn around and ask about the conversation, the door opened.

And in stepped Schrödinger.

Without looking at us, he carried a permanent smirk on his face as he sat down behind a rostrum desk everyone just seemed to have noticed in the front of the classroom. Kevin didn't bother to give us in the back any attention no more and Penelope stopped laughing. I slowly sat down, trying to actually understand that the two of us were in the same room again, Schrödinger and I. We all looked at his face, and I tried to bury down every single second of our history and just see him as some random guard with the role as our temporary teacher. The plan to tell Penelope about him immediately slipped away from my mind for some reason. What does she have to do with us anyway?

"Oh, don't mind me!" Schrödinger said a bit too sweetly, grinning so much that his canines were showing. It was quiet for a couple of minutes before Ann and Penelope begun talking above my head again and Kevin turned around to join them. I just continued doodling stuff on my paper, listening to their chitchat. "Seriously though, what's the most important thing in a guy?" Ann said, hanging on the chair like a shrimp on a cocktail glass."Only everything!" Penelope laughed. I heard my name being called but I pretend that I didn't hear it.

"What do you think _?"

_Nosy curious long-nosed Kevin…_

"I don't know." I answered flatly as I continued with my "masterpiece". This was the first thing I had said after Schrödinger had entered the room, and I prayed to the gods that he did not hear my voice. I could almost see the smirk form onto Penelope's face.

_No Penelope. Please no..._

"**You** out of everyone in here should know!" She said, poking my side again, this time with her pencil. This time it hurt."What are you talking about?" I said dryly. I gave her a warning glare, but she didn't seem to have caught it."Don't be shy _! I know about someone you have your eyes on." She said quietly, her voice becoming lower and almost seductive."I saw you two in the corridor, hugging and everything." She winked at me, obviously meaning me and Jack. My face heat up in anger and embarrassment. She could have told me this earlier when we were alone, but instead she insisted on choosing a time when everyone could hear. She had just whispered, but it was loud enough for everyone to take notice of. "No it's not like that." I defended meekly.

Schrödinger's attention was definitely caught in our conversation now.

"Who did you get a smooch from?" Ann asked loudly. I think Kevin gasped.

Schrödinger stopped doing whatever he was doing.

"Jack!~" Penelope chimed.

I could see his cat ears twitch.

"Who's that?" Ann...

He was looking at me right now.

"Well, her lover of course!" Penelope…

Staring at me with redness out of this world.

"Are you for real?" Kevin…

He stood up from his seat.

"Do you have something going on with a _Millennium _guard?" I don't recall who asked that, and then Schrödinger spoke.

"Class dismissed." He said, smirk not moving a millimeter on his face,

"Aren't you going to leave for your break like the others did?" His question lingered in the air as I was still sitting down at my desk in silence. The other trainees had left for more than a minute ago. I don't know why I didn't go with them. It was like Schrödinger dismissed the class only for the intention of keeping me here, so I gave in without even trying. That must be it. It can't be another reason, unless he wanted to rescue me from all their unbearable questions.

This was a little bit too much for my heart could handle, and I somehow had this constant burning blush on my skin. But I still chose to stay, because that's the only thing that felt "right" at the moment. And even If I left, I would've been attacked with those awkward questions about Jack, and my small group of friends wouldn't even pay my own mind a second. This might be the opportunity to put everything on the shelf and move on. Not only to let my own mind rest, but also explain one and another thing to Schrödinger. He, as the rest of the little people in this small little world, has to hear _my_ part of the story. He had returned to sitting in his chair, looking at me slyly. He was quiet and calm, but even I could tell that he was also wondering about the mystery between me and the emerald eyed guard. I had no idea what he was thinking but I'm pretty sure that if he had a tail, it would be waving to and fro.

"Funny. It sounds like you would like that." I answered softly. I was looking down at the paper I had been doodling on for almost an hour now. _What the heck is that?_

"I never said that." He said. "But you suggested it." I couldn't help to say promptly, but I quickly regretted my childish come-back as silence embraced both of us, and Schrödinger remained silent. I had to come up with something else in order to withstand this painful quiet moment. "And even if I did leave, you wouldn't be far away; you'd follow me, as usual." I gave him a small smile, actually finding the fact pretty delighting and quite humorous. Even if my only intention was to soften up the mood with a little bit of joking, I couldn't help but taking a morbid liking to having him follow me around like a little stray cat."Not anymore." His dull answer hit me harder than expected. Me heart actually hurt a bit when I realized that my little remark was reversed into something that was all for naught and not even true. But I didn't want to remove my shoes just yet."Why?" I started with. It was a safe seasoning to add to the conversation. Like salt and pepper, but sometimes, it's dangerous to keep on digging. You'll hit a big rock at some point, and cringe from the salt and choke on the pepper of course."You told me so!" He chuckled, but he didn't look me in the eyes. "You said so yourself. You don't want me near you." He explained, making me sound like such an awful person."I never said that." I said, just like he had said earlier. He looked at me curiously. I continued when I finally had caught his attention. "I only said that I didn't want you to touch me then. That doesn't mean that I want you to avoid me like the plague forever."

"Oh, but that's exactly what you are, Eve."

_Hold on. Did he say that? No... His lips didn't move, but-_

"Well if you say so!" He laughed again and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed behind his head. His grin turned into a smile. His smile turned into nothing. "But even if I'm allowed to follow you. What is the point of chasing after something I can't get? It's like chasing your own tail." This time, I didn't have anything to say back. I had to retreat from his eyes and look away from him. My eyes graced the walls of the room. No clock existed in here. Not even above the door or over the whiteboard where they use to be in classroom. Should I give in? Should I just walk out of this room and forever be left alone with those words? Should I join the group of snooping friends and talk about what's the best thing with the opposite sex, my dream guy, when he might even be sitting-  
Never.  
"You know…" I began, mirroring him by leaning back in my chair to let him know that I wasn't going anywhere. I thought about stuff I could say to him and told him the first thing that occurred in my mind that would be the most interesting."I had a dream about you." I said, a smile tugged at the corner of my lips. It wasn't awkward to tell him this for some reason.  
"Oh?" He said, actually sounding quite interested. His ears making themselves even more noticed."What happened in that dream of yours?"

_Okay, screw that. It wasn't awkward __**until**__ I realized what actually happened in that dream._

"Well uh…" How could I possibly explain this to him? Should I lie about it? Imagine up something else? No, that's just silly. I have to be honest with him.  
"We were in the halls, and uh... I was… I was bleeding from my belly." I said, trying to tell him everything that did not have to do with touching, or kissing or gazing into each others eyes. I wanted to be just the slightest mysterious, but the more I talked, the more I understood why I didn't have a boyfriend. He leaned forward, gloved fingers tangled together underneath his small chin."You sort of confronted me…" I said then, and the corners of his lips tugged slightly. He resisted a smirk."And we were alone" He shut his eyes."You pushed me to the wall and…" He opened them and looked half-lidded at me. "You kissed me..." The smirk finally came after I'd stated the last.

_Oh, we've been here before alright._


	6. Praiseworthy coagulation

He licked his lips. "Can I ask you a question?" He said suddenly. A wave of possibly questions passed through my mind, but no one made any sense to me so I had to be prepared for anything. A part of me screamed no, but an even bigger part of me whispered with hidden curiosity, "Yes."

He asked "Is it true?" And I asked "What?" And he asked again "Is it true? The things the beautiful girl said about you?"

I couldn't tell what upset me more; the fact that he brought up the subject about Jack or that he'd just called Penelope beautiful or maybe just the question in general. He stood up from his seat and walked around his desk to lean on the side of it, arms crossed and sharp elbows bugging me to no end. He smiled lightly at me, waiting for my answer.

"Yes and no." I said quietly, trying to push every upcoming thought about beautiful Penelope to the side. This was more important anyway, because I could finally tell him the truth.  
"I did see him yesterday... I went to bed after you and I had our… conversation, but I couldn't sleep. I was so hungry, and I happened to bump into him in the halls. He feed me, I mean he gave me food and I stayed in his room, but it wasn't really food, food, it was-" He pushed himself off the desk suddenly, startling me. His eyes gleamed.  
"Continue." He smiled, but it was something odd with that smile."Okay…" I said hesitantly. "Well he… We didn't really... I mean - Like Penelope said, I…" The closer he got, the harder it was for me to talk. Schrödinger was standing in front of my desk and was looking down at me, the lonely paper trapped between his two gloved hands that he had placed soundlessly on the desk's surface. Tilting his head slightly, he glanced at the paper (my work of art…) before staring tenderly at me. I swallowed something in my throat."Schrödinger, you know I would never…" I began. I really didn't want him to think anything like that about me because where he stood… he stood completely magnificently.

"I would never..." My whole mouth felt dry and it was actually difficult for me to manage a single word. He leaned forward, his eyes. His eyes. His eyes. His eyes.I'm getting out of ideas to explain them. His smile widened; as if he could read my mind."Would never…" I whispered. He said "Continue."

"Ahh! I can't when you're looking at me like that!" I squeaked and covered my warm face with my hands, the pressure from his stare overwhelming me. I was so embarrassed. I can't believe I actually fell before him. He let out a small chuckle as he removed my hands from my eyes. He surprised me by planting a kiss on the tip of my nose. Just like that.

"I'm not asking for much _." He whispered, still holding onto my wrists. My nose still felt touched and my eyes slowly bounced up and down his lips. He succeeded to sit down on the table surface - on my masterpiece - with his legs crossed and bent over the edge on the side. He sat turned to me with his upper body, not letting go of my wrists. It was strange. I wondered what kind of capacity that existed underneath the fabric that concealed his hands. He leaned in towards me and the skin on my neck was tense in expectancy for what would happen next. "Did you sleep with him?" He asked then, and I immediately tried to pull away, turned off by his unnecessary question. But he wouldn't let me go anywhere since his grip was hard as stone. "No." I said grimly and shrank in the chair, realizing that it was useless to keep struggling."But if that ever happens, then you're the one to blame." I muttered as I tried my hardest to avoid his eyes. I found myself pouting like a little child, but I had every reason too. Of course I never slept with Jack. Schrödinger's grip on suddenly softened as he slowly released me. I carefully put my hands in safety on my lap while I looked up and examined him. He was frozen like a statue and his eyes were wide as he stared at me. My heart dropped to my stomach when I discovered that he looked extremely shocked. So shocked that I sort of regretted what I said. It was scaring me."How so?" He asked and blinked a few times, yet, the shock didn't leave him. "Well…You were the one who made me want to be soothed by someone, and he was the only one available." I explained carefully, but I was ashamed at how desperate I sounded. He slowly turned away from me, sitting upright without paying me any attention as the whole side of his being was facing me and his sculpted profile was visible. I was face to face with the Swastika on his upper arm. What in the world had I done?

"But Schrödinger! Why don't we just move on? Let's forget about all this, shall we? If it makes you feel better, I won't talk to him anymore, but only on one condition: don't you dare skip my breakfast again!" I let out an uncertain chuckle, not sure if I managed to break the ice. I wanted us to leave all this behind so badly, but Schrödinger's gaze was way beyond my optimistic words. "Schrödinger, please-"

"So it's _my_ fault, huh?" He smiled lazily, his absent eyes gloomy. He jumped off the table in one swift motion, the doodled paper almost flying away with him when he proceeded to stand in front of me and the desk again.  
"Then I don't have to punish you..." He said softly, almost sounding relieved. I'm not going to lie. I was pretty sure that he was joking with me, and I was one step from laughing half-heartedly, but he proved me completely wrong next, after he said "_I'll _be the one who must be punished." He slammed his hand on top of the paper and I jumped at the sudden impact. But the loud noise did nothing to me in comparison to what happened next."Schrödinger? What are you- OH MY GOD!" I'm aware that you shouldn't abuse the name of God, but I had every reason a second of time, Schrödinger had nailed his hand to the table with a knife. The back of his hand was cut through with a blade that pinned his hand down to the desk, the white fabric of his glove united with the thin paper. I was so horrified that I shot up from my seat and knocked over the chair. Paralyzed, tears began to form in my eyes when I slowly realized what he'd done. His expression was blank. He was looking at me with glossy eyes, and his smirk wasn't there. It was gone.

He did nothing. He said nothing.

But deep down in his soul, a fire of desire burned within him. Black blood. A sea of tender passion was flooding through his veins. Because when he looked at me, with those glossy eyes, eyebrows nonchalantly formed in bows above his gaze and lips drawn in a straight line, I knew that he wanted me for something, and he would tear down everything in his path to accomplish that something. Including himself.

I did not dare to look at the desk underneath our tense eye contact. The thickness of the air could be cut through with a blade. I had tried to open up my mouth many times in order to speak, but failed every time. My tongue and lips were incapable to collaborate with me and I wanted to cry and vomit at the same time. I was a human frozen in stone. I didn't want to look at him, but my eyes couldn't move to anything else. I hopelessly faced the ruby orbs with shaky hands and a damaged mind. This moment has struck roots within me, and the unwanted memory has already carved itself into my brain and will stay with me, forever. Schrödinger didn't move an inch; he looked the same. I don't even think he has blinked a single time after he stabbed himself. All he did was looking at me. Expectantly. Eagerly. Boldly. Greedily. Enviously. Pleasurably. Inquisitively. Curiously. I don't know. Maybe none of the listed. Maybe all of them at once. I'm not sure what lay beyond his shiny gaze. I couldn't tell. I could never tell. I took a deep breath and shakily exhaled. "Why?" My voice trembled, as did my lips, and pupils."Answer me." My voice cracked. "Please..." I whispered hoarsely. It took painfully long for him to answer. It was like he lingered his answer intentionally, emotionally abusing me. "You look so vulnerable." He finally said. "But aren't _I'm_ the one in a vulnerable situation?" He chuckled, his laughter biting and tearing me weak soul to smithereens. His free hand scratched the back of his neck and he was looking at his flat-collapsed hand with amused eyes. I finally was able to entangle me from myself as I realized how dangerously naive the boy was. Tears fell from my eyes as I exploded in panic. Realization made me aware of the whole situation and I shot towards the desk, terrified and disgusted, but I was there and I had to do something.

Schrödinger gently gazed at me, interested in what I was about to do. I placed my hand firmly on his nailed one and grabbed the handle of the knife with the other, pulling it as hard as I could. The unpleasant feeling of pulling the sharp blade out of his flesh and bones ate at me, and the sound gave me nausea, but I managed to free his hand, shutting my eyes the entire time. Schrödinger didn't even flinch. Instead, he almost looked excited, like a little child watching cake making. During this moment, he was euphoric, and I was on the verge of collapsing. I tossed the stained knife across the room. The blade clattered to the floor and bounced gently, leaving traces of his blood on the ground. I was almost breathless where I stood, and it felt like I just had saved him from a violent fire, but I still couldn't find inner peace. I could never be certain that it was safe in his presence. "Oh my, you're really full of surprises, aren't you?!" He chimed, looking at the far away knife. He rubbed the palm of his injured hand with his thumb as he did so, immune to the pain. "Do you think I should tell Doc?" He chuckled and looked at his hand like it only was a tiny piece of splinter of wood stuck in his finger. The white fabric of his glove had already hardened along with the coagulation with the blood, which had received a shade of brown."This was pretty fun, don't you think?" He grinned at me. My breathing was still unsteady and my heart was in my throat. "Or maybe you have some other ideas?" He tilted his head slightly. I wasn't sure of what he meant by that, but I had so much going on inside my mind that I didn't have a single second to spare. "What's your opinion about fun?" He asked. "Do you have any... particular in mind?"

The paper that I sat and doodled on minutes ago was now stained in blood, and a deep gash had pierced through it. Whatever I had put on there was no longer visible. The cheap pencil I borrowed from Kevin had rolled down on the floor to join the laying chair, far away from the bloody knife that could no longer harm any of us. I was looking at him now, carefully for the first time after I freed him from the knife. He was waiting for my answer, as usual. There's a saying that actions speaks louder than words. I don't think I agree. Schrödinger has said words that will remain in my mind for as long as I live; toxic words that make me both sad and happy. But I will have to make an exception this time.

Because there is **no **words on this earth that can describe how I feel right now. I can not tell him how scared to death he'd made me at the sight of his fresh blood. He can never understand what he actually means to me (I can barely understand that myself) But when he stood there, and his eyes that usually contained a gleam no matter what mood he was in were empty and his natural, innate smirk was gone, and he was wounded, bleeding, I wished that he had punished me instead. Therefore, I remained silent, and put the saying into action. I embraced him, careful not to touch his wounded hand. I told myself that all this was my fault. I wanted to normalize him. I couldn't care less about the chains that sometimes mystically disappeared from my wrists any longer or the voice in my head or the missing fruit bowl. I didn't feel the urge to tell Penelope about this, and most importantly; I did no longer long for Jack. "Why are you crying?" He whispered, his arms hanging limply at his sides. I didn't answer. "Don't hold back. You can tell me anything." He said, and my answer to that was "Hug me." I mumbled in his chest, pushing everything away from me except his body. I took this opportunity to take in his scent. It was a funny, peculiar smell that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Of course it wasn't a bad scent; he didn't smell ill, it was just something with him that put me in trance. "Why?" He asked, shifting casually within the ring my arms created around him. _No. I wouldn't let him move away._

"Please."I begged in a whisper. Schrödinger rarely hesitated, so he embraced me fully; the bare skin of his elbows and lower arms enveloping me, actually bringing warmth with them. He pressed his whole torso against mine, the many buttons, including his belt and tie made themselves known, but I didn't mind. It felt both right and wrong at the same time, a remarkable feeling, indeed. He managed to put his chin on top of my head, making me rest my head in-between his collarbones. I could feel his heart throb against his ribcage. His heartbeats were so quiet and slow in comparison with my own, which I didn't hear but could imagine. I knew how hard it was beating, considering his closeness and the feeling of the burning blush on my face, and of course Schrödinger could capture my excited heartbeats too. I could barely feel his featherweight hands slowly making their way down my back; completely forgetting about his wounded hand. _"I like your idea of fun."_ He purred in my hair and gently put his hands on my lumbar region, pulling me closer by my lower back as he closed the gap between the two of us. My heart made itself known even more. It felt like it would break at the knowledge that our bodies almost were one. His hands continued down, until it reached my bottom, making his embrace almost taboo when he touched the private area of mine. I didn't know how to respond to this kind of touch but I forced myself to suffer through it. What is the worst thing that could happen?

The answer to my question might have been answered when he moved down even more, grabbing firmly onto the upper part of my thighs. I allowed him to pick me up, my hands finding his shoulders, and place me on top of one of the desks in the classroom. My arms snaked around his thin neck as he stood as close as he possibly could between my parted knees.

We finally looked at each other again. He carefully placed his palms on the table on either side of me. He leaned in towards me, the smoothness of his gloves helping his fingers to slide on the polished wood, past my sitting form and behind me with ease, well constructed arms getting noticed underneath my lifted arms. His chest was telling me to move in sync with him as he let his body cover my own like a thick, limited duvet cover. When my head made contact with the flat surface, Schrödinger towered over me, his hands grasping onto the edges of the desk above my head. He never betrayed my eyes when he placed his head on my still surviving heart. My hands had to leave his neck as he did so. I placed them at my sides, observing him."You know..." He said, reminding me that he had a voice. One of his hands left the table edge to caress the side of my stomach. He pushed himself up, having decision-anxiety as he wanted to look me directly in the eyes. The hand that still held the edge steadied his form so he could have a great look at me, while his other free hand was holding my chin. The feeling of having his coated thumb on my lower lip felt very familiar to me. "You shouldn't have those kinds of dreams about me." He said quietly, like he was telling me one of his darkest secrets. He examined my lips with his eyes as his thumb slid of my bottom lip towards my chin, and when he looked back up into my eyes, the gleam was back again.

* * *

"Let me see it." I said, when plopping down next to Schrödinger on the bed in my room. Why were we here? Well… Shortly after our little incident in the classroom, our moment got brashly interrupted by Ann's best friend. In the most humorous way; I mean Zorin Blitz.

We both got sent back here so Schrödinger could _keep an extra eye on me_ because _I had threatened him _and the only way to _keep me in place_ was to pin me to the nearest desk and _keep me there _until _another soldier or guard arrived in order to control my temper._

Who knew Schrödinger was able to come up with all that in the loop of a few seconds?

I almost had to laugh when he gave Zorin a convincing look, trying to assure her when he said "I'm fine. I can handle her myself", and led me out into the corridors in front of staring eyes.

I guess I just have to stand him from now on. Rather that, than having him where I cannot see him. "I've already told you there's nothing for you to worry about!" He scratched the back of his head and smiled sheepishly.

"Nonsense!" I protested. I wanted to see his hand but he refused. "You're acting like child. Now let me see…" With a little bit of force, I managed to grab his injured hand. Schrödinger huffed in defeat as I held his gloved hand in my bare ones. He glanced at me in half-lidded eyes and pouted, watching me as I examined it. The back of his hand was facing upwards but the white fabric covering his knuckles and the rest of it looked awfully clean. I frowned at this. _Strange… Did he change his glove or something?_ My eyes bounced between Schrödinger's, and the mystery on his hand. Did I take the wrong one? No, I'm sure this is it! He's right handed so it must be the left. A shimmer of thrill danced in my stomach as I decided to do something I always wanted to do. I gently placed his hand in the palm of mine and ever so slowly began pulling on the thin fabric at the end of his middle finger with the other. My action; reminding me of the scene between Jane and Tarzan in the Disney movie, (Well now, I wasn't a wild jungle man and Schrödinger wasn't a fair lady from England either, but you get my point) trapped both of us in a spell and both calmed and excited him at the same time. The thin glove almost felt like an airless balloon when I'd removed it from his now naked hand and tossed it aside like the wrapper on a Popsicle. I was unhesitant as I held it in my own. It felt both warm and cold at the same time, but it was soft and tender and even though my hands were quite smaller and almost wimpy in comparison with his, his fingers was long and slender. His fingertips curled in towards his palm as he hugged back my hand and returned my touch with his, a touch that almost would be considered warm. I felt satisfied. It felt like I've gotten even closer to him. I was so lost in my own movement that it took me a few good seconds to realize the impossible. His hand was uninjured.

I twisted and turned it in different directions in order to find the gash piercing his hand, but it had disappeared into the open air.

This meeting takes place in privacy, in a corner that is not true. Meanwhile, during all, this meeting is decided in advance. Well-planned in sharp detail. Well thought out and prudent; thoroughly pre-prepared, and naked.

Let me see it…

But where was it?

Ruined tissue, skin, veins and bones; the naked wound. Show it to me.

I could hear Schrödinger smile with a short laugh that sounded very girly. Was this his idea of fun? As I'm saying, this meeting takes place, and it was chewing and biting forward.

"I told you there's nothing to worry about!" His thumb caressed the bridge of my knuckles as my fingers rested on his. It was almost like he was going to lean down to kiss my hand, but he didn't. "But-"

"Now, now…" He interrupted me, but I was quick too. "I knew it was there an hour ago, I saw it!" The stroking of his thumb stopped and he looked at me sternly, but gently. "Not anymore." He said. "It can't just disappear!" I had to know what was going on with him. He let out a dry chuckle and begun caressing my knuckles again. "Stop it." He shook his head slightly, closing his eyes with a small grin on his face.

"No! You have to tell me about this Schrödinger. This is not normal. It's not human, it's-"

"Stop _. Let it go now." His eyes lit up in pink as they opened, but they somehow darkened in their own way and his grin had become so small I wasn't sure it was a grin anymore. "Please let it go." He spoke clearly even though he whispered and leaned in towards me, looking down at my lips. "But-"

"I said STOP!" Schrödinger's sudden outburst wasn't enough. He did not only raise his voice at me for the first time, but he also squeezed my hand so hard that my fingers felt like they would break from the revealed strength his bare hand possessed."Schrödinger stop! It hurts!" I screamed. I wanted to pull my hand away but I'm afraid of what might happen if I did. "Stop!" I cried.

"Stop?" He said in a nonchalant tone and chuckled. "Why? You refused to listen to mine so why should I listen to yours..." He pressed harder, and a terrifying cracking sound was heard. Afraid one of my fingers might be broken, I started to cry. "P-please stop! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm not going to- I swear- I-" He roughly let go of my inferior hand after examining my terrified face and teary eyes. He put his bare elbows on either side of his parted knees, staring daggers into the wardrobe in front of my bed as he refused to face me. My fingers were safe in the grasp of my hand. But even so, I didn't stop talking my way out of his dangerous games. I looked at Schrödinger, whose head hung, dirty blonde hair covering the windows to his soul. "What are you?"

With the small sound of my three words, his head lifted. His eyes were still looking at the closet, but this time, they didn't stare daggers. Naked wound. Show it to me.

"Who am I?"

"No - _What_ you are." I corrected – perhaps a little too kindly - but Schrödinger still didn't look at me. "What I am - Who I am…" He pushed himself off the mattress and picked up his removed glove which had ended up on the floor. He turned to me with a smirk on his face. "Where I am…" He dressed his naked hand with the white fabric; the glove looked amazingly fitting on his palm and fingers and interplayed with his outfit which was now complete once again. Everywhere, anywhere and nowhere.

"Are you in pain?" He asked suddenly, maybe even wanting to change the subject. I knew what he meant when I discovered that he was looking down at my fingers, which I still clutch onto tightly to my chest. I didn't even realize that I was doing that myself until he'd made me this self-conscious. "You never answered my question, but I think I am." I said with meager energy. I didn't really feel like arguing with him anymore. It became quiet again and it took a while before Schrödinger replied. "Sorry for hurting your hand."

That must've been the most ironic thing Schrödinger must've ever said, considering that he had impaled his own hand. I sighed softly and a silence embraced us in familiar fashion. I didn't answer and I'm not sure if I accepted his apology or not, but I stood up from the bed and I had no interest in staying here any longer, especially not after what he did to me. "It was never my intention." He added in a pitch higher while looking down at my moving legs, making me forget how to walk. "Then what was?" I turned away from the door only to look at him. To my surprise, he laughed. "You're not actually serious about leaving, are you?" He asked. I hesitantly took a step back. "Well of course I am. There must be something better to do then stay in here with you." I don't know where my nerves came from, but my heart was beating hard. I didn't mean to sound so rude to him. I never did. But I couldn't help it. He snickered darkly. "That's demented." He said. "You're mind is completely void. It's funny because it's undeniable." He said. My back was facing the door now. I wanted to flee and stay at the same time. Something in my head also told me that the door was locked. "You're false. You're a liar." He smirked, and begun walking towards me.

"I would never lie to you." I defended, feeling the air around us suffocate my being.

"No need to shout Fräulein." He informed and put his hands up in innocent fashion. "But no need to _lie_ either." He purred when he was so near me that I had to mind my breathing. "Give me a reason to _not_ leave then_."_ I dared to whisper back. His smirk still remained when he moved his face to my side. His lips brushed against the lobe of my ear. "Oh, but that's not what I'm talking about." He chuckled and backed away from me - pulling me with him – away from the exit."The door is locked. You can't go, even if you tried." He chimed. "And I don't want you to..." I collided with his firm form when he'd stopped. He had pulled one of my arms around his torso in the process. The hand on my other arm rested on his chest like a claw. "I wonder what Jack would say." He said teasingly, sounding sarcastically disappointed.

"I don't understand why Jack has anything to do with this." I answered, teeth clenched. Once again, I didn't mean to sound so bad-mannered, but his sudden closeness bothered me for some reason and my bitter tone even surprised myself.

_Why was I so sensitive with him bringing up Sir Daddy Moo?_

Schrödinger always did whatever he felt like doing. Maybe that's why I got annoyed by his out-forwardness sometimes. I was nervous after my mean-sounding words had left me. I could never tell how he would react towards my disrespectful person, but Schrödinger looked like he'd just received the greatest compliment in the world. He leaned in towards me and kissed my nose and then both of my cheeks and lastly my lips.

His both hands were placed on my shoulders when he made the last act. His lips felt like two pieces of smooth grapes, pressing themselves lightly to my mouth and it felt like a lifetime in comparison with the other nippy kisses. Yet, I liked this kiss way more than the sloppy peck mixed with apple and alcohol from our history. When he pulled away, he stared with half-lidded eyes at me and I'm sure I was looking like that too, only with a grimace from shock and an extreme blush tinting my hot cheeks.

"Stop spitting venom on me _." He mumbled with a lazy grin. He said it just like someone would tell their partner to "stop being so cute".

"You'll find out soon enough." He said, letting go of my shoulders.

It was like he just pulled away a rug underneath my feet. I normally would've been confused with his mysterious words but his kisses had left so much pressure in my heart and soul that his late words didn't even have any effect on me at all. I didn't want it to stop here. He was still glancing at me with weird quietness and his hands that had felt like godsends on my shoulders had left the area underneath my ears cold and lonely.

"Why are you looking at me like that? You look adorable." Schrödinger said as he grinned cheekily; his hand reached up to scratch the back of his head. My eyes were glued to the bare skin on his raised lower arm that processed sufficient muscles that highlighted pale, almost invisible veins that decorated elbow to glove (that now was hidden inside his mischievous frizz). His ears moved slightly when he did so. His smile was so great that he'd closed his eyes. He seemed so real to me then. He wasn't just a strange creature or a freak in the absurdness of Millennium Organization. He was a person with a body and with limbs and skin and bones; a body that could be warm and that could bleed. He was beautiful. Without thinking; I stepped towards him, cupped his face with my bare hands, and kissed him.

I don't know what came over me. It was just something with him today that didn't make me want to turn my back on him like I've done so many times. Schrödinger had gotten much muchier. His messy hair looked more messy than usual, and his illuminating pink eyes shone like rubies underneath thick bangs of hair with that dark shade of blonde, reminding me of sand. The two small pieces of black fur were permanently placed in perfect sync on top of his odd haircut that would look ridiculous on somebody else, but fit him perfectly.

His sharp elbows will forever play tricks on my mind and his mysterious capableness will remain unknown underneath his dressed hands. Don't even mention the Swastika, of course, that wanted to be burned and forgotten. He was such an odd boy with imperfections and features and peculiarities, but he would always – in one way or another – have something adult and masculine thrown over him, and today, his cheekbones were seen once again.

He was no longer a child; the burning emotions in his eyes were serious and genuine. He was a member of the Millennium Organization, a fine man - A fine man dressed in a Hitler Youth uniform.


	7. Stupid Cupid Pound the Alarm

I don't have much to say in my defense. You don't kiss people like that out of the blue, especially not someone who's remarkably younger than you. Especially not someone who's your personal guard. Especially not someone with supernatural abilities. But for a moment I could feel no degree of separation or space between us. That is everything that I can say to those who's willing to listen.

Unlike me, Schrödinger was someone who kissed back instantly. His own action caught me off guard, which was rather funny since my plan was to puzzle him. I suppose my plan simply backfired, but I couldn't care less.

This kiss lasted way longer than the one before, but as soon as we had pulled away, I impatiently kissed him one more time. Schrödinger stumbled back in order to maintain his posture. He might've been prepared earlier, but a second kiss did not exist on his own written horoscope. He must have been quite surprised by my sudden fondness of him, which explained his shrinking vigilance. Because surprisingly, he didn't know that I would kiss him again,

And again.

My sane mind got dominated by desire for him in this moment. Whether Schrödinger was the one backing towards the bed, or I was the one leading him on by guiding him further into the room, I'll never know. But when that happened and my blood begun boiling, I started to question how far we would actually go. A part of me refused to do more, but I didn't want to stop either. Schrödinger's calves bumped into the bedpost and our bodies collided again. When I was ready to take the next step, he gently prevented my craving hands by grabbing my wrists, stopping me before anything more could happen. His lips slowly left mine and I looked shyly at his face with a beating heart and burning blush.

He looked at me like he usually did, like this didn't have any effect on him whatsoever. He looked at me like this was completely normal, like this was nothing rare for us. It made me both sad and happy, but mostly confused. With a low voice he said, "You'll be deceived if you let your greed control you like this."

I opened my mouth to say something back but it shut again. I began to wonder if he survived on the panicky feelings I felt when he spoke. Did he really have to say these kinds of things, always? Schrödinger must have seen the despair in my eyes. His thumb hurried to my lips, gently padding my bottom lip, the silk on his glove began to feel as natural as a second skin. Once again, his words got pushed away by his touch and gazing eyes. It was like he did this on purpose. It was like he wanted to make me blind and deaf when he opened his mouth, so he later on could rub it in my face, and not feel guilty for being silent. He was making me feel so many things.

"What's going on in your mind?" He asked curiously. Maybe or maybe not, the child began to take form within him again. His hand removed some hairs tangled in my eyelashes - making me blink in a repeating manner – and cupped the side of my face. His other hand still held onto one of my wrists, in case I would bolt from the blue again and surprise him with another kiss. I don't think he liked the thought of being dominated by me since he prevented me from taking this further (and maybe even push him down on the bed). Or perhaps, he just didn't want things to get out of hand. Who knew what he actually thought about these intimate moments. Maybe he just wanted to wait, or bury them down completely. Is he even capable of handling physical love? It was like he crept through my eyes and into my brain simply by removing the pity barrier of hair strands. He smirked. It was like he already knew what I was going to tell him.

"You're making me feel things I shouldn't feel." I whispered to him. My eyes betrayed our eye-contact. "Is that good or bad?" I asked quietly when he didn't say anything. I could hear him chuckle. "I don't know…" He answered, but he was thinking really hard on this. He placed his forehead against mine. I had to look at him now, or else it would be weird.

"It depends on what you feel. What do you feel?" He asked.

It's so stupid. Should I really tell him such a silly thing? No. That would be utterly weird. I can't tell him that, unless I want him to laugh at me. Schrödinger said my name quietly and pulled away slightly to look at me more properly. He was impatient.

He came closer. He pecked my lips softly, over and over again, until I looked at him more properly and my attention was on him, only. I didn't kiss back. It was like he was trying to suck out information from me. He closed his eyes the last time he kissed me and grabbed both of my hands, toying with my fingers. When he pulled away, he was expecting an answer. He thought that his loving actions would make me open up to him, and he was completely right. It couldn't be that hard to say.

_**I like you.**_

"I think I love you." I blurted out, the words rolling off my tongue without control and I didn't hesitate a bit even though I perhaps exaggerated. This time, I had rewritten my own horoscope, because_ I_ didn't even see this coming. "I love you." I repeated, to assure him that he'd just heard right. The damage was already done, anyway. Schrödinger didn't have many faces. But he always had his smirk involved, which always seemed to be there somehow. But this time, his whole face made revolution and the only thing that remained was two round and huge eyes. It was strange seeing his mouth in non-action, formed like a petite "o".

"I love you." I said for the third time. My hands squeezed his stiffened ones. I smiled in my own realization, even though a huge cloud of uneasiness began forming within me, but I was too proud to deny my feelings at this moment.

Schrödinger blinked one more time before he started to build up his own reply. "_, I…"

What happens next is so unpredictable that it's almost unreal. It's actually so hard to believe that it's humorous. Schrödinger needed a moment before he slowly returned to his usual self. After he'd melted what I had said, he shook his head and closed his eyes with a small grin in charming disbelief. It was hard to know what he was going to do. He might say something similar to my confession, but he might even say something completely heart wrenching. That little smirk of his might as well be a mocking one, and who knows what his eyes will contain when he opens them.

H said my name once more, muttering it and adding a small chuckle afterwards. For God's sake. He simply couldn't make fun of my confession; that's just brutal! Even for a member of the Millennium. Even for Schrödinger. And by making fun of my feelings towards him; wouldn't he be making fun of himself, when it all comes around?

When he finally opened his eyes, he didn't look at me. He gazed at the floor. His pretty grin had turned into a lazy smile that looked melancholic. I wasn't too certain, but I think I could recognize that expression of his; a look of guilt, and it was never a good sign…

What in the world was I thinking? Just when I thought it was over and I began preparing me for the rejection, he looked at me and filled me with lightheaded, temporary hope again, even though I couldn't read his expression thoroughly.

"I would like to tell you something too." He said, still smiling slightly. I know he hadn't finished talking, but the maintained smile brought me so much relief that my heart started to pound in my chest again. It wasn't over yet, but the negative vibes had suddenly got replaced by positive and I was more than ready to hear what he had to say. But then…

"_, I think I-"

_**"ATTENTION! ATTENTION! THIS IS NOT FALSE ALARM. THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE. ALL MILLENIUM SOLDIERS; TRANSFER TO THE MAYOR IMMEDIENTLY. I REPEAT; THIS IS NOT FALSE ALARM. ALL MILLENIUM SOLDIERS; TRANSFER TO THE MAYOR AT ONCE."**_

"_**ACHTUNG! ACHTUNG!..."**_

Before Schrödinger could finish, he got cut off by an ear-piercing ringing sound that appeared from an unknown source in my room that began blinking in different shades of red, as in showing how urgent the situation was. After listening to the message in both English and German, I wasn't sure of what to do. But since the message was mended to the soldiers, I guess I'll just stay here until the storm calms down, but what about Schrödinger? It seemed like the sudden command had more effect on me than on him, who looked rather calm. But despite that; it would be such a silly priority to even think about what he wanted to tell me, (well at this very moment).

The ringing noise was so loud I had to cover my ears. Schrödinger looked more worried about me than the loud noises and the furious red blinking lamp that made my room look like an underground disco. For a few seconds, he couldn't care less about the order from the Mayor. A normal person would rush out and obey, but Schrödinger isn't normal. He had his priorities set on nothing other than myself. But I couldn't help but wonder if my earlier words had made him more traumatized than the pounding alarm. I couldn't think properly and my mind was blank and my ears hurt so badly that I wouldn't even care if he stayed here or not. I just wanted it to be nice and calm again. All this emotional stuff could wait till later. I heard my name get mixed with all the other stuff going on in the background. Schrödinger's eyes bounced between my face and the exit, it was like he didn't know what to do. He started to look a bit panicked, but more in a childish way of course. He grabbed my shoulders and stared at me comically seriously. He looked down and licked his lips.

**"ATTENTION! THIS IS NOT FALSE ALARM. THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE…"**

The long crazy message got voiced once again, like we weren't even allowed to speak to each other. Schrödinger still looked at me. He still held onto my shoulders as he gently pushed me away from him slightly, but he didn't move from his spot, and his hands remained on me. It was like he wasn't sure of what to do with himself. I'm not going to lie; the ringing scared me and Schrödinger's behavior didn't really help much in this situation. Anyone could tell that something serious was going on, but even so, Schrödinger was somewhat calm, even though he looked like a lost puppy. When the long, obvious message finally died, he spoke again. "Just!… Stay here!" He said as loudly as he could, but I still couldn't quite hear him properly over the alarm noises. My brain must've been bouncing enough within my skull by now. Yet, I nodded seriously. He let go of my shoulders, but then he cupped my face. The silk of his gloves soothed me strangely during all this dramatic commotion. It even felt like his movement had closed off all the sound.

"I'll be back as soon as possible." He informed. I didn't like the way he spoke. It was like he was overtaking the role of a guard again. It was no need for that. I nodded again and frowned when his hands left me and exposed me to the noises, and he gave me one last look over his shoulder before he tore the door open and disappeared into the earsplitting noise outside in the halls. The beeping sound was way louder outside, but it ended in sync with the slam of the door. I numbly walked over to the bed and nestled down underneath the covers with my hands still attached to my ears. My only company was the beeping sound and intense shade of red that were visible even underneath my eyelids. Everything seemed so absurd. It was like the noises and the lights wanted to warn me about something. The red light blinked and faded, and being in my room was like being inside a beating heart. The ringing was very strong. It portended misfortune and asked for help.

* * *

"Inmate? Inmate! Can you hear me? It's lunchtime. You better wake up now or I'll let you be starving." I didn't recognize the voice, and after I'd woken up and clumsily dressed myself and entered the halls and had a proper look on him, I didn't recognize the man either. "Can I ask something?" I said carefully, glancing up at him shyly. His face was stone and he did not say yes, but he didn't say no either."What was that trauma about earlier?" I asked, meaning the urgent message from last night. It took a while before he answered me."It was a temporary emergency, no more. That's everything you're allowed to know." He stated without looking at me. I then asked him "Where's Schrödinger?"

It felt weird asking about him. I just assumed that he knew who he was because they're both members of the Millennium, but this man might as well not even know him, but it would make even more sense if he did. He looked at me strangely."I-um! He's mine, my escort." I informed nervously, not even sure if that fact was correct. The man snorted."Like hell I know." He said and rudely turned his head away. "Sorry." I squeaked.

When we arrived at the cafeteria I was happy ditching my stern escort at the entrance and what made me even happier was the sight of Penelope and Ann sitting in the corner, the same corner I used to sit at. Like a little child, I hurried to get food on my plate and sneaked towards them, slaved and powered by peer pressure. Even though we weren't allowed eating together, I was willing to take the risk. Millennium might have realized that the worst thing that happens when gathering us is gossiping like traditional teenage girls. The girls reactions was different. Penelope looked surprised when she saw me. "Oh my god!" She gasped with a grin on her face. Ann was smirking calmly, like seeing me was something she was confidently certain about that they would."Where's your little catboytoy? You have a lot to keep us up with, hun. We know all about that thing in the classroom." She explained.

Catboytoy.

"Shut up, Ann! We have more important stuff to discuss. Did you hear the alarm? Evening class even got dismissed and we got sent back to our rooms! I thought we were going to crash or something!" Penelope attacked me with words before I even had sat down. I was thankful for her taking the spotlight off from Schrödinger, though. I could hear Ann whispering "drama queen" under her breath.

"And even more importantly…" A smug look suddenly began forming on Penelope's face and I saw that she was glancing at the entrance to the dining room. I followed her gaze and a tall, familiar guard caught my eye almost instantly. Jack. When I saw him, my first instinct was to crawl and hide underneath the table, and hope that he wouldn't see me, but after second thoughts, I didn't find any meaning in it whatsoever. If he'd greeted me, I would greet him back, but that's it. I made a promise to Schrödinger and I will keep it. After being traumatized by memories of blood and a knife and an awful artwork, I would do anything to not experience something like that again. Jack was the reason for Schrödinger's actions, so I just had to make sure to keep my distance from him.

"Oh~ I'm sensing some triangle drama right here!" I can' tell who said that. Ann, was it? My mind was completely set on one person only, even though I definitely shouldn't pay him any attention. I just wanted to make sure that he was keeping away, that's why I was staring at Jack, but my heart looped in my chest when he spotted us and started to walk towards our table. "He's coming this way!" Penelope whispered, like he was some kind of famous person. "Is that Jack?" Ann asked with disbelief in her eyes. I nodded, because I didn't want to talk.

"Inmates." He stated while standing over our table like a tree, staring at all of us. At first, I just assumed that it was a role he had to play, but his behavior was so out of character of Sir Daddy Moo so after second thoughts, I simply assumed that he was joking. I smiled lightly at him. That was my greeting to him, and now my conscience was clean; I didn't have to do any more.

"Are you mocking me?" Jack asked and I was caught off guard when he suddenly grabbed my shoulder. I heard both Ann and Penelope gasp at his sudden action towards me. "What? Of course not!" I said, and a nervous laugh involuntary followed after. Jack's face was stone cold; he didn't move an inch. "Then why are you laughing at me, inmate?" He asked.

"Jack." I said more seriously. What the hell is he doing?

"You're coming with me. I cannot tolerate this behavior. Inmates aren't allowed to eat together either." He said coldly, not only to me but to Ann and Penelope as well. He lifted me off my seat with a single movement and tugged me towards the exit. I could hear Penelope and Ann protest in the background. "What are you doing!?" I heard Penelope shout and Ann joined in with a "You can't do that!"

I was struggling too; of course he knew I didn't do anything wrong!

"Jack! What are you- Let go of me!" I said, and I could hear how scared I was. But he didn't listen to me. He had pulled me all the way out into the halls already. "Let me go, please!" I begged, almost beginning to cry. I just wanted to go back and eat with my friends. That's the closest I can come to a normal life here.

"Just hang on for a little while, okay?" He suddenly whispered in my ear. "I only want to talk to you." He moved away slightly and winked at me.

Can you believe it? He made a scene in the dining room only to talk with me, making Ann and Penelope think badly of the person they thought was my soul mate, and making me look like some sort of prankster. He just could've asked me to speak with him like an ordinary person instead of forcing me away from lunch like I just had committed a crime. I didn't like his way of communicating with me, so I protested. He took use of his membership in Millennium to have his way with me. I don't even think Schrödinger would do something like this to me. He wouldn't sink so low.

"No. If you want to tell me something you can say it now." I stopped in my tracks, disliking the idea of him acting so rude and tough in front of my friends who thought of him like a mother's dream. Jack gave me an odd look. "What's the matter with you?" He asked, like I was the one who misbehaved. "I'm a human being, Jack!" I said to him, and his eyes widened at my statement. "Just - Let me go. I'm sorry. I didn't sleep well last night..." I said. I couldn't stay mad at him. His face looked like a frowning, ashamed mess, yet he didn't let go of my arm."Can you let go of me now? I'm not gonna run away or anything." I said, feeling a bit uncomfortable with him touching me for so long."Did you hear the alarm too?" He asked, ignoring my wishes of being realized. He stepped closer. "I did. Didn't everyone?" I asked, frowning at his grip on my arm. He shook his head slowly. "I heard what happened in the Evening class. You got sent back to your cell. It was only a message sent out to the main guards, so how in the world could you…" He muttered, more to himself. I began sweating at the realization that Jack was a short distance from knowing that I lived in a soldier's cabin. I don't know why I got that nervous about him finding out, he's Jack, my friend, but starting today, I didn't trust him as much as I once did.

"Well… I should probably go back to the others." I said turning away from him, but he pulled me back. "_, Wait, I-"

"Let go Jack."

"Why are you struggling all of the sudden!? It's like you think I will hurt you!" Jack raised his voice at me and he sounded angry, and I felt a bit bad for him. I didn't mean to make him feel this way, but his hands was still on me and I didn't like that. "I'm sorry Jack. But can you please-"

"You don't have to say that again, _. He must've understood by now." A new, clean and youthful voice echoed through the halls, dancing around me and Jack and a ton of feelings washed over me as I heard the familiar voice. Our eyes landed on Schrödinger who was standing a few meters away from us, with his shoulders pushed back and head held high as he was gazing back at the two of us with maturity in his eyes.

"Excuse me Sir, but I think she told you to let her go more than once." Schrödinger said, now talking to none other than Jack. "_Can_ you let her go?" He asked too kindly, almost sarcastically, with his hands hidden behind his back. The ears on his head tilted backwards, wanting to show us his innocence. Jack chuckled. It wasn't a mocking chuckle. It was more of a friendly chuckle than anything else, then he let go.

"Just out of curiosity… What would you do if I didn't?" Jack asked Schrödinger, who beamed at his question."I'll rip your arm off." He said casually, making both Jack and I raise our eyebrows at his wicked statement."Excuse me?" Jack asked with the last of the laughing energy he had left. I got a feeling that this was all little bit too much for him. "I'll rip your arm off." Schrödinger replied, happy to get that said again.

"Can you believe him?" Jack turned and looked at me. Why did he look at me? "Um…" I looked at Schrödinger with burning cheeks, just now remembering that I've actually confessed my love to him. Yet, it felt so strange now with another person around me and Schrödinger, after the entire trauma in my room, and suddenly being in such a "calm" space. Did Jack have any idea?

"I don't know." I mumbled as quietly as I could and looked down at the floor. I wanted to be as neutral and impartial in this conversation as possible. Schrödinger said my name, and my head popped up like a little puppy hearing its owner calling. He smiled at me. "_, do mind it?" He asked in a voice that gave me goose bumps. "Huh?" I asked dumbly. Schrödinger didn't mind my dumbness at all. "Do you mind if I rip his arm off?" He asked clearly, and Jack laughed again, this time loud enough for all of us. "If you want to make a wise decision _, stay away from him." Jack said to me, eyes strictly on mine. I stood speechless; both touched and untouched by his words. Schrödinger called my name again and I looked at him.

I looked at my master.

"Do you mind if I rip his arm off?" He said, this time much slower. I had suspicions about this being a trick question, but it somehow didn't sound like a question at all…

"What the hell?" Jack snorted at my silence. He looked between the both of us. "_ He's not like us. Normal people don't ask things like that." He told me, but I already knew. Schrödinger isn't normal.

"_..." Jack said my name in a warning tone. He was getting nervous when I didn't say anything. I could sense him sweat. It was rather fun actually, playing with his fate like this. "No…" I answered Schrödinger hesitantly slowly. "I don't think I would." I said, and Jack's eyes widened so much that all the whites in his eyes could be seen around the emeralds. "You can't be serious _!"

Jack was right. Schrödinger isn't normal, and he definitely isn't like us. It's just up to each individual to accept that about him. I looked at Jack, who looked mortified and aggressive, ready to pull out his weapon any second now. When I looked at Schrödinger, he stood politely with his arms behind his back, with an apparent tranquility and a satisfied, content expression on his face. "I wouldn't mind." I repeated so Schrödinger would understand how serious I was. So much for being impartial.

"You heard the lady." Schrödinger said proudly. "This is madness!" Jack bellowed. Then he laughed. "You don't understand, do you _?" He said. I looked at Jack in a mixture of irritation, confusion and of course curiosity. He smirked almost victoriously at the attention.

"Understand what?" I asked and he answered me instantly. "What he is, this boy…" He said, mentioning towards Schrödinger like he was some sort of craftwork or machine. "There's a touch o´ truth to the saying that people aren't always as they seem. Him – this little teenager you see – isn't even a person. He's a mere experiment, good for absolutely nothing. He's on this earth without any reason! No emotions, no torments or feelings. He doesn't feel anything, do you?" He looked at Schrödinger. "You're a replica, a hypocrite, an illusion."

I stared at Schrödinger too, who stood there, listening to his words without even flinching. "What are you, catboy?" Jack asked Schrödinger in a sickening sympathetic voice that made my blood boil. How dare he talk like this to him?

Schrödinger looked unchanged. "I'm everywhere and nowhere." He said. It was a very sad thing to hear. It was like he didn't know any better than that. Jack chuckled at his answer. "That's what he always say doesn't he?" He asked me, and even though Jack was right, I refused to agree with him. I looked at Schrödinger and his pink eyes were looking back at me. My eyes scanned him from his ears down to his boots, yet I couldn't find anything artificial with him. He looked completely real to me. "He's completely right though. If he thinks he's at a location at any moment, then he will be at that location. That's what he do. That's what he live for." Jack stepped beside me, not leaving Schrödinger alone with his rude staring. "You think he can do any harm? You think he can kill? Well I'm sorry to disappoint you, miss, but your guard isn't capable of such things. He cannot kill or injure something alive; since he doesn't even exist. He's created for a few purposes only; and killing isn't amongst any of them." He explained, and the more he talked, the more I listened even though I didn't want to hear it. I felt sick to my stomach. I felt tricked and foolish. Everything suddenly made sense to me. His supernatural abilities, the instant heeling of his hand, the inability to receive physical contact correctly and return it; he doesn't understand. He doesn't know what love is. He doesn't-

"He doesn't love you." Jack said out loud, and I didn't know how I should handle those heartbreaking words. I got mad and disappointed and sad and a lot of other things. I was upset with Jack for telling me this and I was upset with Schrödinger for not saying anything and I was upset at myself for not understanding this sooner. I've been so naïve. I had created feelings for a monster.

"You don't even know what you are yourself, do you?" Jack asked Schrödinger, only scrubbing more salt into the wounds. When I looked at Schrödinger, I saw something tragic. He looked down at the floor, and he was thinking about it. He was thinking about what he was and what he came from, and when he couldn't find any answers, he put his face into his hands and began rubbing his temples. It made me so angry that I wanted Jack to eat up his words. But it wasn't until Jack put his hand on my shoulder that I lost it.

"Schrödinger!" I shrieked, and his eyes popped up at me."He's touching me again." I said. "I don't like it."

Schrödinger examined the situation. He was looking at Jack and his hand on my shoulder, and at me and my glossy eyes that were full of unshed tears. And not a single tear left my eyes until the smirk was onto Schrödinger's features again, like the stars holds the moon. He looked at me and then he looked at Jack. "Allow me to make sure he never will again."


	8. Moo gonna make me lonesome when you go

I surprised myself by not cringing from the splatter of blood neither the noise of veins and bones tearing apart, maybe because I wasn't looking at the scene. Maybe because I knew that Schrödinger wasn't the person who got hurt. Maybe because I've turned completely mad.

I only did what I felt like needed to be done. I only told Schrödinger what I thought he wanted to hear. Was that a bad thing? Am I a bad person? I had to do it. Jack was saying all those things to him, tormenting him with harmful information. Bullying him until he no longer could look anywhere but in his own hands. Jack needed to learn a lesson. But how is it that when I saw Jack's body get slammed to the wall by Schrödinger who was twice as small as him, and cry out in pain, I felt empty.

My head turned away and my eyes shut when I saw Jack's arm get twisted to his back in a swift motion. His frowning face was pressed to the wall by a firm hand on the back of his head. Where did Schrödinger's strength come from? Was it there all along? I heard Schrödinger whisper to Jack. "I'll do this slowly to make you certain of the exact nature of my abilities, so you should be grateful for being the first one to define them."

A wave of sudden realization washed over me. Schrödinger will remove Jack's arm. Jack's. Jack, with the auburn hair and the emerald green eyes and the funny, shameless laugh. Sir Daddy Moo."Stop." I said, gambling between giving Schrödinger what he wanted and saving a limb from an innocent man. "Stop!" I said louder, but Schrödinger was in trance, completely determined to declare his newborn abilities to he world. All he could do was focus on Jack's moans and grunts tinted in pain as he pulled at his arm little by little. The expression on his face was insane. There was blood on the floor and I realized that it came from Jack's face that had got mashed into the wall. The force must've been so great since his inner fluids was all over the place. His veins in the shoulder must have snapped - explaining the awful noise - since it was twisted in a unnatural angle.

"Enough, Schrödinger..." I stammered nervously as I walked towards them, stepping in blood. I placed my hands on Schrödinger's shoulder. "It- it must be off already, just... let go please." I said, feeling my skin crawl at the fact that I was so close to such an absurd happening. He shot me a wary gaze; his eyes half lidded in a passionate way, but mouth in a lazy smile. He looked ready to make a kill, but my hands remained on him and held him in place. I discovered small drops of blood on his chin and left cheek when he spoke. "You said you loved me. So why don't you mind?" He asked, sounding a bit annoyed and my eyes widened at his change of subject. I felt exposed when he suddenly mentioned me in this situation and my heart felt heavy with guiltiness. "I don't mind." I assured once again, even though I sounded a bit uncertain. "But please…" I pleaded, my hand squeezing his shoulder. "It's enough. Let him go Schrödinger." I could feel how vulnerable I must've looked to him, according to the short break his gazing eyes took to examine me closely.

_"Both of you..."_ Jacks husky voice surprises both of us. Schrödinger shot him a childish annoyed glare, but allowed him continue. I too wanted to know what he had to say, even though I didn't like the sound of his broken voice and was terrified of his upcoming words. _"... Can go to hell."_

Those last words left an eerie silence behind them, and I slowly let go of Schrödinger's shoulder, like I didn't want to participate in this crime any longer. But it was already to late to back away, thus I was involved and I was ashamed. I wanted to cry. What had I done? Schrödinger leaned in towards Jack's side and whispered something in his ear. His action reminded me of the first time I met him, when he recklessly pulled me into lostness. I could almost feel him lick my ear again, and I'm certain that Jack could feel it too.

_"No need for that." _Was this something he had whispered._"We're already here."_

Within no more than a second; Schrödinger lifted his leg and pressed the sole of his dark boot to Jack's lower back, his sharp bare knee visible, as he ripped off his arm like a dead tree branch. But the sight didn't traumatize me as much as the sound. To hear a man scream out like that was utterly terrifying; it should be illegal. Jack let out an inhuman scream, like an animal.

I didn't want to believe any of this. This was not happening. This was happening. This happened. Schrödinger actually dismembered his right arm. Simply because I said I didn't mind him doing so. I didn't know what to do. Should I help him? Pick up his arm from the floor and stitch it back like in a cartoon? I can't do that. This is real life. Will he die now? Can he die this way? What will happen to Schrödinger? To me? To us? "_" Schrödinger said my name but I couldn't recall. I stood in blood. My knees buckled. My hands were shaken and sweaty at the same time. Eyes unfocused, numb, dead. Schrödinger said my name again, gentler, but I couldn't look at him. So he had to make me; he cupped my face with his hands. It was blood on them. It was everywhere. There was blood everywhere. My name again, for the third time. It was a whisper. He didn't smile, but he managed to look at me longingly.

I forced myself to plant seeds of lies.

_He didn't do it. He didn't do it. He didn't do it._

But no matter how much I tried, I couldn't shut out the noise of Jack panting on the floor as he crawled on his knees, probably finding support on the wall. I didn't know what he was doing. I couldn't see him. I could only hear him.

I turned my head to see how he could manage with one arm but Schrödinger was quick; he wouldn't let me look anywhere but at himself. His fingers held my chin like he held a basketball in a match between life and death. Every time I heard Jack, I wanted to check on him, but to no avail. Schrödinger noticed this.

"Look at _me_." He cooed. His mouth turned into a smirk that was soft enough to call a smile, heavy eyelashes making his gaze seductive. He stroked my cheeks with his thumbs. I swallowed, feeling how dry my throat was. When I made an attempt to speak, Schrödinger put a finger on my lips, wanting me speechless.

The place reeked of blood. It was strange smelling someone else's blood than my own. Schrödinger said my name again. He'd said it so many times now, I lost count. He spoke again shortly after calling me, "You said you loved me." His words were repeated, but this time, he smiled just like I told him that a few seconds ago.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that he was blushing. Schrödinger was blushing, and not in a sheepish, childish, dumb way. He was blushing genuinely with glossy ruby eyes. But he didn't have any emotions. He bumped our foreheads together, his blonde bangs mixing together with my own hair and his blush transferred over to my own face. Then he embraced me. His arms enveloped around me; like he was trying to protect me from our surroundings.

And all of the sudden, he began to chuckle.

"You love me!" He chimed.

Tightening the embrace, he nestled his face in my neck. I heard a noise in the background, a quite familiar noise. Vomit. Jack was vomiting. Not only that; but coughing his own blood. For a few seconds; My ears got clogged and the world had stopped. What was happening? I didn't know anything. I was lost. He didn't do it. I smelled blood. I was standing in blood. Arm on the floor. Smirk. Vomit. Experiment. Ruby eyes. Noises. Quiet.

I might be in my own little bubble with stopped time and a blank mind and deaf ears and a dead soul, but the words that Schrödinger said next were powerful enough to enter my being, and make me breathe again. "One day I might be able to make room for an ability that will make me love you more than any human being can, _." He said, and there was no use in trying to hold back my tears. "You saw what I did with his arm, look it's laying there!" He said and broke away from the embrace to point at the arm. It was horrific, but I couldn't help but laugh, even though I was still crying. Schrödinger looked back at me with an enthusiasm out of this world. "I went against my own purpose _. I harmed someone, and if I can do that then I can do anything. I can love you _." He said, and all I did was nodding passionately, because I found everything about this so tragic, and I wanted to believe in him. I wanted to believe in us. "We're standing in blood..." I said, stating the most obvious while not leaving Schrödinger's ruby eyes. I couldn't bare to hear him convince me about his abilities, it was way too much for me. My sentence somehow matched what I saw, while not actually looking at the red liquid on the floor, but into eyes that possessed the red color as well. His eyes would always have a numbing effect on me. A small chuckle left him then.

"I forgot how inexperienced you are. This is quite normal for me. I'm common with blood on a regular basis, as you might suspect." He explained with a mysterious gleam in his eyes. I couldn't help but brushing away a few hairs that had fallen in his face and wipe away the drops of blood on his cheek in the progress. "It's disgusting." I whispered, my eyes finding themselves trembling under his light but powerful gaze. Schrödinger leaned into my touch, holding my hand in place so I couldn't move away. "It's unavoidable." He muttered, eyes closed as he enjoyed the touch of my palm, which he kissed and snuggled into once again. For a moment, I forgot all about Jack's presence, who was crawling along the floor like a worm in his own blood. Well, until he spoke that is. "It's disgusting, alright..." He managed to slur at us. Schrödinger's eyes opened in an annoyed manner. I tried to calm him down by pressing my hand to his face, but suddenly my palm wasn't that interesting anymore. I pulled at his arm when he turned to look down at Jack. "Schrödinger, please! Leave him-"

"Disgusting..." He muttered, shaking me off him while he got closer to Jack, who sat with his back against the wall, eyes filled with hatred for the person above him. "Disgusting." He repeated, not letting his glare drop. "Demon." Jack spat, saliva and blood sprouting from his mouth. "No no no no no!" I said in panic. Schrödinger had caused enough damage already. I stood in between the two guards as my palms pushed against Schrödinger's chest. "Come on. We should probably go before someone-"

"You're in the way." Schrödinger said coldly. "Move, or I'll find a way to harm you too. I sense no love in me yet." He said and I tried my hardest to block out his harsh words. "Would you now?" I asked fearlessly, but I couldn't stop my body from shaking.

"Perhaps I wouldn't, but indeed, move." Schrödinger said, now with a smile. I was still glaring at him. I thought about getting him what he wanted, but I changed my mind when I thought about what Jack had gone through. "No. I won't move." I said. Jack might hate me, no matter what. He can't grow his arm back. He lost a limb because of me. It's pretty hard to forgive that. But I still felt the need to protect him. Schrödinger's eyes widened slightly.

"Why?" He asked. "Why does it matter to you? Did you fuck him?" His last question shocked me out of my flesh. The fact that someone like Schrödinger used such vulgar words was unsettling. "She did." Jack managed to say, before I could manage to objection, and burst out a no. "WHAT?" I shouted back at him. Missing one arm or not, he had no right in the world to suggest such a thing! I turned around, facing his death glare, and giving him one of my own.

"How dare you, Jack..." I whispered, unpleased by how saddened and disappointed I sounded, more than angry. He smiled at me, just like he used to smile at me before. But this time, his forehead was sweaty, his hair was a mess and he was drowning in his own blood and he lost an arm. But most of all, his eyes were dull. His green eyes that once were filled with care and joy were now nothing. "You're dirty." He said, while clutching onto his arm-missing side, in order to stop the intense bleeding. He was panting, and anyone could tell he was struggling to maintain his consciousness. I couldn't believe him. The man is dying, and he wants to go off with a boom, leaving me behind with his lies. "Stop it." I said. I shook my head slowly, feeling tears well up in my eyes. "You know I didn't- Fine! I'M SORRY! I'm so sorry Jack! I didn't want this to happen! I know you hate me but-"

"_..." He muttered my name. He looked calmly up at me_._"You fucked me. You fucked me, _. And you liked it."

"I said I was sorry, Jack!"

"And you kept asking for more and-"

"Please Jack!-"

"Yes... Just like that..." He chuckled with a disgusting, pleased smirk. His laugher turned into coughing as he spat out blood again. I didn't know how to handle this. I suddenly didn't care anymore. He could get his other arm ripped off, I just didn't care. His head lollied to the side, but he kept his gaze at me. "It was lovely, _... You were lovely."

"NO! I won't let you leave like this!" I fell to my knees in front of him, cupping his face in my hands. It was sweaty and warm and it had more blood on it than Schrödinger's, but I couldn't care less as I stared daggers into his eyes. "You can't die now, you hear me! I won't let you die until you tell him the truth! Please, tell him we didn't,-" I had a hard time speaking, since I was crying so much. "Please…don't die..." My own words made me realize the horrific situation. Jack is going to die.

"You can't leave me. You have to tell him! You must tell Schrödinger the truth!" I cried. I couldn't read Jack's expression. I could never read anyone's expression.

"Please... Jack... Please... Tell him... Schrödinger, or he'll…He's going to..."

Oh my god.

"He's going to kill me." I whispered, still holding onto his face. Jack smirked at my words as he struggled to find Schrödinger behind me. His emerald eyes stared far away above my head. "She..." I felt Jack's jaw move slowly in my hands. I'm sure he would be more capable of speaking if I let his face go, but I was too eager to shake the truth out of him that I refused to let go. "She loves me too... We made love..." He wheezed."No..." I cried, feeling my whole life get crushed by those words. I heard footsteps and splashing behind me, shoes stepping in tiny puddles. Before I saw Jack's fearless gaze above my head, obviously looking up at Schrödinger behind me, he whispered to me in a last desperate attempt to talk, his green eyes maintained the Sir Daddy Moo shimmer for a brief second, "Forgive my sin, religious girl of Hellsing, but let me die with this lie. Perhaps, if I'm lucky enough, it will be true in death-" I got dragged up from the floor by Schrödinger - away from Jack's heartbreaking whispers - who grabbed my shoulders and tugged me backwards into his chest.

"Now watch closely, _." He gracefully moved me to the side before he sent a knife flying to Jack's head. I covered my mouth to muffle my screaming. Schrödinger turned to look at me, and he looked dark. "Schrödinger..." I said in a shaken breath as he walked towards me with firm steps. I backed slowly into the wall opposite from where Jack's corpse was left. "I'm sorry, I promise we didn't-" He pulled at the collar of my sweater and pulled me to his level. After planting a proper kiss on my lips, he pushed me to the wall heatedly, but not causing me any pain. "Do not speak to me." He panted. "If it didn't happen, you have nothing to apologize for." He muttered against my face."However, if you ever did have your way with that man..." I felt his lips brush against mine with every spoken word. He pulled away, only to glance at me. He didn't look angry, but he didn't look all that happy either."It no longer matters because he's dead. He doesn't exist." He stroked my left arm with his gloved hand while examining me. For the first time, an awkward silence appeared between the two of us. I looked down at my feet, finding blood on them. I felt the sudden urge to puke. All this blood made me nauseous.

"Schrödinger." The sudden voice caused us both to jump in surprise. Schrödinger's hand fell to his side and his touch disappeared. Our eyes landed on a man with a white lab coat. He appeared to be a doctor of some sort. "Are you behind all of this?" He asked slowly, with an enthralled smirk as he glanced at Jack's corpse with eyes full of observation. "That knife is in your property after all." He reflected. "Yes." Schrödinger answered without hesitation and proudly, back to his usual happy self. The doctor stepped towards us, not even noticing or minding the blood on the floor. "What's your objection, Oberscharführer?" He asked, more fascinated than upset. This must be the doctor Penelope and Ann was talking about.

"I had to do it." Schrödinger said, giving me a mile wide smile. "Or else, she would have been raped." I cringed at his words, and how casually they had been said. The strange man, who just discovered me, was looking at me in a way that made my skin crawl."Aha…" He sang, looking me up and down. I don't think I ever felt so self-conscious in the world. He stepped towards us, and I stepped back behind Schrödinger who stood still and curious waiting for whatever this man wanted."She's one of Hellsing's trainees, am I correct?" He asked, and just when I thought he couldn't get any more fascinated, he had another thing to dig deeper in. His question made me freak out. It made me feel exposed and busted.

"She's with me." Schrödinger simply said without actually answering the question and pulled me back to his side by my hand. I didn't even bother to ask why he had said that. The doctor looked a bit disappointed. "Oh, well... I'll get someone to clean up this mess. We wouldn't want anyone to grow suspicious... especially of the pure ones." He breathed, leaning down towards me and reminding me of the puking urge that had planted itself in my sick stomach. Schrödinger stepped forward and in-between us, just in time before the doctor's breath was about to hit my face. "Then she should probably exit this crime scene. Leave that task to me." He said and was quick to pull me in the other direction. "Oberscharführer Schrödinger." The Doctor called, making Schrödinger stop dead in his tracks. Both of us looked back at him, who bent down to examine Jack's stabbed head. "I'm looking forward to a little meeting at my office. Apparently, we have a lot to discuss about your… development, meine kreatur." He told Schrödinger, dipping his fingers in the blood to examine it more closely. Schrödinger and I looked at each other, then Schrödinger shrugged nonchalantly, not caring much about whatever the doctor had in mind for him. "Well, it was nice seeing you Doc. We're up to something, so see you." He said, and dragged me away along with him. He always dragged me away. From dangers. To new dangers.


	9. Boom! He shot above me

"It's so quiet in here." I said in a whisper, trying to match the silence by saying it as quietly as possible. "Is it because he's dead? Does death leave a silence behind? Is death silent, Schrödinger?" Looking down at him, laying comfortably in my lap with his head while I brushed my fingers through his hair and the fur on his ears, a small giggle left him. "I love when you're getting into things like this!~" He chimed with a toothy grin, the silence in my room, long forgotten. "But I'm afraid you're wrong, my sweet... Death is anything but silent." His words left me speechless and a bit nervous, but I've grown used to feeling like that so I just continued playing with his hair like nothing was bothering me. "It's hard to believe that he's gone." I said and another silence occurred. Schrödinger waited a few moments before he spoke. "He's still on your mind." He mumbled with his eyes closed. I could almost see the sulky pout on his lips. "I can't help it. Someone I once spoke to and touched is now gone. It just feels so... unreal." I explained. Schrödinger shot up from my lap like a thunderbolt and looked at me, his hair messy even though I had tried to tame it with my fingers. "He's dead now, so it doesn't matter. It's only death."

"I know, but I still-"

"He's DEAD!" He squealed, not wanting to hear me justify myself. "I know." I said calmly, putting up my hands in defense at his sudden outburst. He let out a sigh. "Even though I took his life, you're still nagging about that ginger..." He muttered and stood up clumsily from the bed. He looked at the door, like he was about to take his exit."What is it with you?" He asked without looking at me. "I can't figure it out, my abilities are not enough for that. You're not like the others from your organization." He explained, biting his lower lip. "Like... Ann, was it?" He thought out loud, shooting me a playful glare. "And that pretty one..."

"Penelope." I stated coldly, and Schrödinger smirked when hearing her name."Penelope…" He repeated, testing her name on his lips. My chest tightened.

_What was this all of the sudden? These dark emotions…_

_Stupid Penelope._

_Stupid long locks of brown hair._

_Stupid bright blue eyes._

_Stupid perfect figure._

"You're jealous of her." Schrödinger realized teasingly. "NO I'M NOT!" I stood up promptly in protest. "Oh, but _, you are!" He sang, not at all affected by my disagreement. I only glared at him then. If I continued resisting it, then perhaps my true intention would show, and we wouldn't like that, now would we?

"Why don't you just get rid of her if you see her as that much of a threat?" He asked nonchalantly, looking around the room. My hairbrush caught his attention as he picked it up and started to comb his hair. "She might be beautiful, but she's not smart. It wouldn't be that hard..." He wondered out loud.

"Haven't you caused enough traumas already?" I asked, watching him play around with the hairbrush a bit before putting it back down."There you go again. Don't hold back. Say his name - Jack, Jack, Jack." He said with a calm and nonchalant expression on his features. "You're the one who's talking about Penelope." I said, and it was such a dumb argument."Who's still alive." He answered in a sense that didn't make sense, making me wordless. I sat up and sighed. He turned his back on me childishly but that didn't stop me from sneaking up behind him and put my arms around him. Embracing him from behind, my head nuzzled in at the hook of his neck as I sniffed his collar."You're not as charming as I know you can be sometimes… Can't you just be charming all the time?" I whispered to him. I felt his arms move as he put his gloved hands on top of my bare. "I suppose I could. But what's the fun in that?" He asked.

"You can always try." I assured, and he leaned back in my embrace, almost making me fall backwards on the bed."What do I get out of it?" He asked. That was a good question. Not having anything else to say, I felt bold, saying "Me." But Schrödinger laughed. He let go of my hands and turned around, with a smirk. "Meaninglessness." He said, looking me up and down. He stepped towards me, eyes half-lidded in a mocking manner. "You and I both know that I already have you wrapped around my fingers." He said. "You said you loved me so I can have you whenever I want." He smirked. "That's not fair. You always think you can do this." I said, looking away from him. "Do what?" He asked.

"Mess with my mind." I muttered. He grabbed my face, making me look into his eyes. He kissed the corner of my lips slowly. Pulling away slightly, to stare into my eyes. "That's what I do." He whispered. I shooed away his hands and pushed his chest. "You're being annoying. Get out of here." I said childishly, not knowing how to deal with his mind games. He grabbed my upset hands with ease as he held onto my wrists. "But I don't want that." He argued.

"I DON'T CARE! Get out!" I yelled, his head snapped back."Calm down!" He said, raising his own voice. "NO! YOU BETTER LISTEN TO ME OR ELSE I'LL-"

Fast as lightning, he managed to lead me to the nearest wall and pin my struggling arms above my head."You what?" He asked calmly, pressing his body against mine. "I'll..." I panted. He glanced down at my lips while I tried to come up with something to say. My breath grew beneath his staring eyes. My whole stomach and chest were exposed, since my hands and arms were out of order. I almost had to stand on my tip-toes, and my legs were not quite able to carry my body. I was lucky that the wall behind me was supporting me. I was more than inferior in my current position, but despite that, I dared say, "I'll hurt you." Remembering the gun in the drawer of my nightstand, I didn't find my words that ridiculous myself.

Something with his eyes was different. He still held me to the wall and had a firm grip on me, but his expression had changed. Blinking slowly in a thoughtful way, he moved his body even closer to mine; all the buttons and details on his uniform created a contrast to my casual wear that consisted of a pair of pants and a simple sweater. It made me realize our extreme differences. All I could think about while having my arms pinned and useless was the funny fearful feeling of being tickled to death, but he did no such thing. Because when he neared my face with his untold expression, he simply looked into my eyes. "What kind of abilities do you have that can compete with mine?" He asked. "You're not even able to get rid of your human friend, who really means nothing to you, and only exists so you can envy her." He let out a chuckle. "You'll hurt me." He repeated in a mutter, shaking his head slowly with a grin. My joined wrists started struggling in their place, but I could only move my fingers.

He just kept staring at me and I had trouble breathing properly. My feet wanted to stand firmly but it was not possible. My arms wanted to be free again. I don't want to be pinned to the wall. I don't want to be here. I don't want to hurt him anymore. Because I'm terrified. If he could do what he did to Jack, a high status military soldier, a member of Millennium, then what would become of a mere trainee, a simple human being from Hellsing?

_"Are you sure this is her room?"_ A sudden voice was heard out in the corridor.

_"__You__ are the one who said it was, drama queen!" _

_"Then knock, emo!"_

Ann and Pen. Someone knocked and I could hear Penelope shout my name from the other side of the door. _"Hey sweetie, you in there?"_

"PENH-" Schrödinger covered my mouth with his palm and gave me a look that told me to shut up and be quiet; to drop dead and go to hell. His gloved hand was still covering half of my face, preventing me to speak. He gave me an odd, sly glance as he lowered his head to my chest where he rested his blonde frizz. "Sweetie." He mimicked Penelope in a whisper. My heart started beating without my permission, in a mixture of fear and infatuation. We stayed like that until they started arguing about where my room was again, and their voices disappeared along with their footsteps.

Schrödinger's hand left my face; as well his head had left my chest, as he backed away from me. He was quick to catch up from where we had left. "You'll hurt me?" He said, this time more clearly and with no chuckle or mockery in his voice.

My arms fell back down at my sides and I was quick to stand up properly again, yet not brave enough to leave the wall which I allowed to support my back once more. Schrödinger opened up his arms. "Go ahead." He said, and my hands turned into nervous fists at my sides even though Schrödinger's eyes were closed and he was grinning lazily. My own eyes were wide open and I was about to break down and cry. What was I thinking? I couldn't even pluck a hair strand from his body.

Letting my gaze drop from him, I hugged myself as I slowly followed the wall to the floor where I sat down, defeated without even trying. I pulled my knees to my chest as I hide away my face from him and this world I was forced to live in. "That's what I thought." He said after a great while. He kneeled down in front of me. My eyes shut harder, as if I was trying to conceal him. But he was there. He's always there.

Forcing my chin upwards, he stared ruby daggers into my eyes. "Next time you get a stupid idea; At least demonstrate the insanity." He said with disappointment in his voice. I swallowed, feeling tears taking form in my eyes. "Okay, I promise." I said quietly, avoiding his eyes. He put his hand on the side of my face. "Good girl." He cooed. I exhaled, finally being able to breathe again, even though this resulted in a stressful porridge which almost destroyed me. "So..." Schrödinger began, hand disappearing. He sat on his feet, legs bent and sharp elbows resting on top of his thighs.

"Who are you, and where did you come from?" He asked, and I knew exactly what he was doing so I played along with him. "I'm a mere inmate here, which makes my name unimportant. I was born and raised here and I have nothing to do with the Hellsing Organization." I said, and he asked "Do you enjoy it here?" and I answered "I do. The food is great. But I must be careful, because the men can be very dangerous."

Schrödinger smiled at me, satisfied with my answer.

"Do you have any friends?" He asked.

"No." I said.

"What about Jack?" He asked.

"Who's Jack?" I asked.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" He asked, making me a bit uncertain. He took off his gloves.

"No."

Schrödinger's naked fingertips touched my cheekbones for the first time.

"Do you envy someone?" He asked and I merely nodded.

"Who's this someone?" He asked.

"Penelope Rhodes." I answered.

"And where's Jack?" He asked, and I said "Dead."

* * *

"Is something the matter, miss?"

_Miss._

I sat in the back of the class room, yet it felt like I was closer to Schrödinger than any of the people in it. Penelope's brown locks of hair could be seen in the corner of my eyes, but I refused looking at her. She is not worthy a single glance from me."Yes." I said without hesitating. My answer to his question made the tiny group of people turn to look at me questioningly. Ann. Kevin. Penelope. _The golden trio._

I didn't care. They could stare how much they wanted. Everything that matters to me is the tense connection between me and Schrödinger. Everything else is unnecessary. They are unnecessary. He sat on the desk in the front, facing all of us. I was the only one he had his eyes on, and I stared right back at him. Schrödinger blinked slowly and a soft grin took form on his lips. It was his way of telling me to open up to him. "I feel funny. I don't think I'm able to be in here for much longer." I said without looking at anything or anyone but him.

I wasn't talking to one responsible. I wasn't talking to a charge of the group, a supervisor, or an educator, or a guard. I was talking to him and him only.

"Oh no, do you feel ill?" Her voice said in a concerned voice.

_I do now, Penelope._

Not answering her question, my gaze remained glued to Schrödinger's unadorned, amused expression. He had his bare elbows resting on the table surface, and sat upright behind his desk. The small white tight-fitting gloves clothed his unoccupied hands. His lean boyish legs was crossed, while one of his panty-hosed calves were rocking back and forth, his boot hoist above the floor surface in the air, almost kicking the underside of the table every time. So, has he been seated ever since our lesson began.

He stretched his arms above his head, his red eyes closing for a brief moment and leaned back in his chair. I know he had closed his eyes, so I devoured the sight of his bare wrists, forearm muscles and sharp elbows. He completed my personal one-man show by crossing his told arms over his chest. "How can I fix this, then?" He asked kindly, excessive helpful. It's no need for that. He knew what I wanted. His bouncing boot had stopped.

"I need space." I said.

"I see." He said.

Penelope and Ann exchanged glances. Kevin looked between me and Schrödinger. He also wants to get out of here. Receptionist boy. "You're all excused, for a short while. I give you one hour." Schrödinger informed generously with a grin. Chairs whined against the floor and the golden trio moved slowly out into the hallway, one at a time. It looked funny because everyone wore chains. Penelope could not help but shed excessively anxious glances at me with the mascara painted eyelashes. But I remained seated, until the last human being left the room.

Schrödinger watched them leave until the door slammed shut and we were left alone. "Can you remove these?" I asked, making him look at me. I showed him my handcuffs. I didn't want to be one of them. Schrödinger giggled and jumped out from his seat.

"Couldn't you find a better way? So tedious..." He said with a shook of his blond head and walked towards me and stood in front of my desk, grabbing my hands tenderly in his fabric palms. He searched in his breast pocket and fished out a small key and dexterous unlocked my limited existence. He shook his head again and let a strange laugh leave him.

"What is it?" I asked, feeling a curious smile grace my lips. He continued shaking his head before he answered me, gaze half-lidded. "This is the only key that I own." He said.

His words confused me and I was just about to talk back at him when a deep frown was created on his face, and his touch became hesitant after removing the chains, letting them crackle against the wooden surface of my desk. "Who put these on you?" He asked, examining the slightly red circles that decorated both of my wrists.

"You did." I reminded, even reminding myself how unnecessarily harsh he could be when putting them on sometimes."Did I? I'm very sorry." A awkward chuckle left him as he let his thumb stroke over the harmed skin while his head was cocked to the side in an almost adoring manner."I tend to forget how fragile humans are." He explained, almost sadly. I looked down at our hands, resembling both of our different beings.

_I wonder if he even feels._

"So, now that we got the horses out of the stables..." He smiled, leaving my hands to grab the removed handcuffs and connect them to his belt. He looked down at me. "What's on your mind?" He asked, sitting on my desk, more than willing to listen.

_You._

"Nothing." I said softly. "Aw, don't give me that shit!" He laughed. My soul temporarily left my body when I heard how harshly he emphasized that last ugly word."You obviously asked for this to happen, and now that we're finally left alone, the least you can do is to tell me what's wrong." He said, his legs moving to and fro impatiently.

"Nothing's wrong." I said, once again speaking softly. In all honesty, I didn't know what I wanted. Schrödinger jumped off the desk and walked towards his own where he turned around to face me. His arms crossed over his chest once again as he leaned back on the furniture, waiting, like he could stand there the whole break for my explanation.

"I just…" I began, avoiding his gaze. I gave my attention to my swollen wrists instead as I began rubbing them. "This is not..."

I don't know anything. I had nothing to say. All I ever come up with was "You don't have to stand so far away..."

Schrödinger's ears twitched and he put one foot over the other. "I must. I might harm you." He said plainly. "I find it disturbing that you refuse to share your thoughts with me." He said, tilting his head to the side. That wasn't the case at all. I felt tears well up in my eyes. "I hate her so much." I whispered, just realizing that myself at this moment.

"Pardon?" Schrödinger asked."Penelope." I answered. "I hate her so much, and I can't bear that you're looking at her."Schrödinger looked down at his chest, examining one of his hands nonchalantly. He smirked with satisfaction. "Pity." He said. "Does it really upset you that much?"

"It does!" I raised my voice, standing up. "And you know that!" I told him with tears in my throat. "Does it..." He left the desk without taking his attention away from his glove. "Does it make you angry?" He asked. He stood-sat on a random desk only a few meters away from me. "Does it make you devastated?" He asked.

"It makes me nothing." I said and made him look up from his hand. "You understand then…" He explained. I still stood up in between my chair and desk, not knowing what to do with myself. Schrödinger looked directly into my eyes. "You are nothing next to her." He said with a grin on his lips.

_Say that again and I'm going to hurt you. I will do everything I can to harm you in this human body, even if I die in the process. You are dead to me. Only the bones in my body, and my flesh and my blood prevents the hatred that you planted in my soul. It might appear in my eyes. You might hear it in my voice. But just wait Schrödinger. I'll make you feel it. I'll make you feel it in more ways than one._

"You're right." I said, realistic thoughts hitting me. I sat down again. Slowly."Please stop crying. Don't waste your tears on such matters." He said. I was crying. I was crying without even realizing it myself.

"Indeed, You're nothing next to her, or anyone else in that matter... Because they are nothing themselves." He said and my chin got tilted up by a firm hand. "Unless we make them turn into corpses, of course."

"If you want her dead so badly; then go ahead." I said, avoiding his touch. "Is that a demand?" He whispered eagerly. I pulled away from all of him and stood up. "I would never ask you to do anything for me. You make a mess out of everything." I said and Schrödinger's eyes widened. "You're completely right." He grumbled."But may I show you more of what I'm capable of." He turned away from me and that's when I clicked.

"Schrödinger, wait!" I yelled after him as he walked firmly towards the exit. "No, please!" I said, managing to run ahead of him and block his path. He looked at me like I was a little drowned rat. "Out of my way little woman…" He ordered."No no! I'm sorry!" I cried. My hands reached out to touch his face. "I'm so sorry." I said pitifully, my voice broken. "Please don't..." I put my hands on his chest limply and looked down at our feet.

A silence embraced the two of us. He stood completely still before me, not moving. I slowly took my hands off him. "I'm so stupid and pathetic and jealous and... I'm nothing..." I muttered hatefully to myself, not forgiving myself for crying all the time. My posture failed me and I felt small where I was barely standing in-between the exit and Schrödinger. "And you're in my way." He added instead of proving me wrong and reassuring me. I removed my gaze from the floor, expecting to be pushed aside so he could continue his road kill. But when I nervously looked into those lethal ruby eyes, he put his arms neatly behind his back, bowed towards me and kissed my lips without taking another step forward.

The only sound that could be heard was the whistling sound from the ventilator in the ceiling. Schrödinger pulled back his face from mine, eyes neutral and lips lightly curved upwards. I wasn't smiling, even though something within me did. "What was that?" I whispered, mildly confused by his action. "A commitment." Schrödinger whispered back, arms still hidden behind him. A sudden seriousness dominated his features. "I can't deny it further." He stepped back, only to put a firm hand on his chest, "Starting now, I'll be your guard ultimately. It will be my responsibility to look over you and that will be one of my most important duties, alongside my job as the major's messenger." He said to me without breaking eye contact.

_The major's messenger._ _So that's what he is._

I was staring at him dumbly, unsure of what to respond to such a commitment."I... as an inmate, will... accept your guarding?" I said awkwardly. Schrödinger laughed at me and my effortful words."You don't have to say anything!" Schrödinger pointed out gently, finding my naivety slightly amusing.

"But what does it mean?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. The feeling of wanting to cry was long forgotten. He took my hands in his. "It means..." He led my hand down towards his trousers-line. My eyes widened at his shameless behavior. He unbuckled his belt and removed the handcuffs from it, clasping the cold metal around my wrist in a way he was used to doing, and in a way only he could do. "That you'll never be alone again." He finished. When the handcuffs were on me again, he yanked the chain to him and hoist it so he could duck underneath it to come in between my arms. He was incredibly close to me, but the string of chains was long enough to leave some space within my automatic embrace. "Human beings are so fragile after all." He said quietly, not needing to talk so loud since he was so close. "Like glass…" He said, his arms going around my waist. I could feel the intense smell of something I couldn't put my finger on again. "But I won't break you. I'm not able to break you." He mumbled. "It's not in my system."

I grinned feeling his blonde head in the hook of my neck in our long embrace, even though I had my doubts about being unbroken to him. I wanted to tell him that he was capable of breaking my heart at least once a day, and that it couldn't be that hard for him to break me, but I kept my comment to myself in case it would encourage him. He didn't know more or less. His mind wasn't like a human's. Just like in the circus world, you can train wild animals to do what you want, but you never know when their wild instincts return. This is what I call this place. A flying circus.

"How long is left of this recess?" I asked, afraid that someone might caught us this way, like Zorin had done previously at one of the desks. We managed to escape that time, but how could we possibly explain this?

"Have you already gotten tired of me?" Schrödinger asked without moving an inch. "You said one hour." I reminding him of the limited time."Oh right... How careless of me. That's not enough of time, is it?" He asked and I could feel his head move to a different angle, maybe to look at me. Instead of answering him, I hugged him back awkwardly with my hands still restricted. He stepped forward, backing me into the door that was the only one in the room. One way in and one way out. Right then and there, someone fiddled with the door, wanting to get in.

_"Is it locked?"_

_"I don't think so..."_

Schrödinger's ears perked up at the voices. He could probably hear them ten times better than what I could; I could only hear muffles. Diving out of my embrace, he frowned at the exit with some kind of curiosity in his features. The door opened, revealing Penelope and Ann looking questioningly at the two of us who were standing very close to each other. "Hey, didn't you want to get out of here?" Ann asked and raised one of her shaved off and sharp painted eyebrows. Penelope glanced at me, and then at Schrödinger for longer than allowable, and that's what really set me off. I slammed the door shut and locked it from the inside. "It has only been 10 minutes." I talked through the door. I turned back to look at Schrödinger, who looked surprised at what I just did. "So we have 50 minutes to spare." I said, walking towards him. "And how are you going to spend that time _?" He asked, pulling one of his gloves harder on his hand. Two sharp fangs could be suspected in his smile. That's when I decided. I'll go anywhere, everywhere and nowhere with him. Even into madness. "That's up for you to decide messenger boy. I'm your prioritized duty after all, and you don't seem to have any important messengers that need to be sent." I said, feeling every fiber of dignity be replaced with obedience."My master."


	10. Tinker Tailor Scones and Sailor

I love the things that I like with him, and the other way around. The ends of my fondness for him melt into each other to create a spinning wheel of forbidden emotions. "This is... interesting..." I heard him say. In this moment I wanted to devour him as much as I could, but I wanted to be gentle and I wanted to be good. He watched me indifferently and intensely, as I was starting to unbutton the top button on his shirt. "Tell me when to stop." I said, fiddling with my fingers underneath his tie. I wanted to keep it on, as in want to saving the best for last."_..." Schrödinger said my name softly, making me look at him. "This could be classified as a humiliation against my occupation; just a mere threat to the official indeed, but it might as well involve consequences." Schrödinger informed professionally, whilst all the time holding onto my wrists as he backed away from me when I neared him with every single step. He would have to stop at some point. "Are you not just embarrassed?" I asked with a smile, still walking toward him, even though he wouldn't let me continue with the removal of his shirt."Embarrassed?" Schrödinger asked me and stopped abruptly. "Are you?" I asked again and smiled, tilting my head to the side. Schrödinger continued to stare at me, not letting go of my handcuffed wrists that were in front of his chest. "Oh, my sweet." He suddenly let out a little giggle. "It takes more than that to embarrass me." He said in a low voice and let go of my hands. "But you dishonor me. This is not appropriate for any of us, _." He said, but still managing a Cheshire grin.

"But why?" I asked, confused by his purpose. I didn't understand what he wanted from me. Not touching and unspeaking we stood. Someone tried the door handle again and my heart speed up in agony."Schrödinger-"

"It would be against the purpose of Millennium. If someone finds out-"

"But they won't find out!" I interrupted him in a half-convincing whisper, looking into his eyes as I walked towards him once again. The backs of Schrödinger's palms were put on the side of the master's desk behind him. "They'll never find out." I assured. Schrödinger chuckled after watching my pleading expression for a while. He put his head to the side and looked down at me in a half-lidded way, refusing to give me any kind of physical affection. It was like he held onto the side of the desk for dear life."You're adorable." He complimented. "Don't get me wrong, I would like to get to know you a bit better too..." He purred whilst looking into my eyes. He was leaning back slightly, because he knew I would only follow. That resulted in a short, effortless kiss. "But-" He quickly spoke when we had parted. "I won't do anything more than that with you in here." He explained, happy and satisfied with the little peck. I was standing still now, once again and was once again silenced by his words.

"I don't believe you…" I said, shaking my head slowly. "You want to waste this time only to refuse my whole existence and break me, and later on act like nothing of this happened and continue on with your dirty games all over again." I said and Schrödinger blinked slowly in a listening manner. "I'm not sure how much I can take this any-" Schrödinger stepped away firmly from the desk, making me move away slightly but he was quick enough to grab my upper arms firmly. He leaned towards my face, looking me directly in the eyes. "Then just hold on." He said quietly, making me breathless. The door got vandalized again as someone refused to believe that it was locked. It bothered me to no end but Schrödinger was just as calm as he had been this entire time. After a while he said, "You're truly desperate _, to allow that disturbing factor in your attempts to seduction." He smirked. "But like I said before, it's truly interesting…" He murmured, hands sliding down my arms to grab my hands.

"It's something thrilling with being caught, don't you agree _?" His whisper was heard clearly after the noises had died down. He held my hands gently and placed his lips in a long kiss in the corner of my mouth. Even though he was so close, his lips was far enough from my own so I wasn't able to kiss him back if I wanted to. Schrödinger was aware of that, of course, which explains why he did it. It wouldn't be that difficult for me to just move my head to the side and kiss him back wholeheartedly, but he somehow made me stay put and left me unable to do what I wanted. I looked down at his chest.

Three_._ I only managed to unbutton three buttons. I never even got the chance to remove his black tie. This is so unfair. "But isn't it even more daring to be _completely_ by ourselves?" He asked and my heart skipped a beat. I didn't want to wait. I didn't want to waste this time. It didn't matter if we got caught or not. I just didn't want to be left alone with him. Having people outside the room created a sense of security.

It had to sink or swim. Schrödinger didn't see when my hands reached up to yet another button. But even though he soon knew what I was doing, he didn't try to stop me this time. He stood completely still until my hands met his trouser line, where his belt still was unbuckled from before when he had removed my handcuffs from it. He grasped onto my hands and held them still when they were in-between our lower regions. He stared at me without letting go of his hold. "You must be far-off mad." He grinned and gave me a kiss before letting go of my hands. He kissed me again, slower, and a look of his own seduction took form on his face. "Don't move." He said, unlocking the handcuffs swiftly, freeing my hands from the chains. "Only I'm allowed to touch you." Whilst one of his hands fiddled with the key and the chains, he untied his tie with the other hand; tearing the Millennium-accessorized knot apart hastily with five impatient fingers. He's so small and careless; Schrödinger, but he always had such a neat knot around the military green collar that looked so perfect that it could've been made by a parent. I always admired his neat facade. But now, the fancy knot is ruined and long forgotten. He removed his shirt, pulling it out from the hem of his trousers, and tossed it aside along with the Nazi swastika. He wore a loose fitting white tank top underneath his uniform, which also was tucked into his shorts. I always knew Schrödinger is physically small, but looks strong. His slight and compact body had been exposed, perhaps more than it has ever been, and his well built arms were so visible they could ever be and not a single fiber in my body knew how I should react to this. "Don't make any sort of resistance." He said, eyes glowing red. I was nervous now. He somehow looked like another person with his white top and matching gloves, and I was trying my hardest to not say anything, but I failed.

"What will you do?" He put a finger in the air. "Don't speak." He said both softly and kindly and smiled. "Don't make any sort of resistance." He repeated. He examined my body head to toe. He grabbed my chin and moved my head in different angles, so he could have a good look on my blushing face. His hand said goodbye by brushing some of my hair away from my eyes and greeted my jaw line where his fingers slid down to my neck. Then, he dropped his hand to his side. He walked to my profile, touching my arm when he did, making sure I still had my gaze forward. When he was out of my sight, I stared blankly ahead, waiting for what would happen next. Appearing behind me, his hand had left my limb and I could feel Schrödinger's breath on the nape of my neck. He placed his still gloved hands on my hips when I shivered, and guided me towards his desk where he to my utter shock bent me over. All I could see was the white painted wall before me. The wall I had been staring at boringly so many times during my few lessons with him.

Hearing the sound of his belt once again, my whole human being got frozen. My guts went over the hills. This was not at all how I wanted it to be. He pinned my arms around my back.

"Schrödinger please don't-"

"Don't resist me, Eve." He said closely to my face while using that off beam name again. His body was hanging over mine like he was shielding me from fiery rain from the sky. But he did anything but protecting me at this moment."Understood?" He murmured next to my ear. When he suddenly pulled away, I took the opportunity and exhaled. That could have been my last breath. After that, I heard how each of his knees bumped into the wood of the desk, the lower part of my body stuck between his front and the furniture. I looked up at the ceiling. _Dear Lord and Father of Mankind. Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name… Do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. _

But Schrödinger didn't want it to end like this either. He swiftly nailed my wrists together in an uncomfortable position at my lower back, imprisoning me for the countless of times. He yanked my body away from the desk, making me fall back onto him. His hands were on me firmly, his touch far away from his gentle one as he lead me towards the exit, forcing my body to be as firm as his own as he violently brought out my body from the room. He unlocked the door and kicked it open. I was not myself anymore. I didn't feel human anymore. I was the lowest form of life on earth.

Penelope. Ann. Kevin. I even spotted Naomi and Berry for the first time in this giant cage. I remember them as a completely normal couple from my historic past at Hellsing. Schrödinger ignored the unfamiliar faces, but I didn't know if he has met Naomi and Berry before. I don't know anything anymore. Penelope looked excited when she saw me, but her excitement felt when she saw that I was arrested by a fourteen year old with a tank top and cat ears. She would probably have grinned like a maniac and say something like _"Hey Sweetie. You remember Naomi and Berry, right?"_In the sickening sweetest voice she could master. Because everyone knows that she secretly hates Naomi because she "stole" Berry from her once upon a time, and I would be like _"Oh, yes I do!"_ And I would be happy because I actually like Naomi. She is skinny with short red hair and she smells lemons, and she has a genuine sweet voice without even trying. We used to put little post-it notes on each other's work stations with cute messages and stickers on them. Berry gave me a cinnamon bun once in the staffroom so he's okay too.

Penelope looked ready to attack me with questions, until she saw me in this condition. She remained silent and gave me a worried look. Ann and Naomi, even Kevin and Berry looked oddly worried. But they were also curious. There's always someone curious.

"Let's not make this half-heartedly." Schrödinger said, not bothered by my former trainee colleagues as he spoke to me, and me only.

But who could blame them? I'm curious too, after all.

* * *

"Isn't this one adorable! Does it have a name? Can I keep her?" From being forcibly pulled out from Evening Class by Schrödinger to stand face to face with a woman known as Rip Van Winkle; this day began to be a little bit too much for me.

"Unfortunately, she's arrested for inappropriate behavior, Fräulein." I heard Schrödinger say, holding onto my side firmly, which was slightly unnecessary since my wrists were stuck behind my back and I would be a fool to do any sort of resistance at all. I looked at him, his gaze was on her, and her only. He had refused to look at me ever since he had pinned me to the desk. Van Winkle's tall, gangly form bent down towards me and I had nowhere to look but into her glowing blue eyes.

"Have you been naughty petite Fräulein?" She said in a clean, chiming voice, and I couldn't help myself but blush at the intensity in her stare. "Messenger boy better watch out; He's no longer my favorite." She said, pinching my cheek with such carefulness that it was almost pathetic, and in that moment, I began taking a liking towards her, so pathetic was good. Her fingers were cold, despite wearing thin gloves and she smelled like licorice. A sudden shock of terror entered her freckled face. "You're not taking her to the isolation, are you?" She asked Schrödinger, even though her eyes were still on my face, examining every eyelash and pore that I had. Schrödinger's grip on me tightened and he grinned at her. "I haven't decided!" He chimed childishly. I'm shocked to admit this myself but I didn't really care anymore what would become of me. I was more interested in looking at the woman before me. She was just as wicked as her name, yet she had something elegant in her appearance. Without having a word spoken, I blurted out "Your hair is beautiful." I said, and that was the very first thing I had managed to say this meeting, despite my condition. I felt like I was going to die soon anyway so no need to keep that compliment inside. I've never seen so much hair on a person before; it reached down all the way to her calves. It was tinted black hair with the same gloss you can see in the hair color commercials. Her eyes widened and she managed to look even crazier than she did before and couldn't believe it when her freckled cheeks got a red color in them."Beata Maria, You know I am a sinning woman, but let me at least do you the favor of warning you of my overflowing sins." She prayed breathlessly - even though I had my doubts about her being religious – and cupped my face in her long gangly hands. She shot Schrödinger a nasty look.

"What could she possibly have done to deserve this ugly treatment?" She mumbled with a pout on her lips and suspicion in her eyes. That's a question I've been asking myself.

"It is nothing _ugly_ with my current treatment." He said calmly. "But if you want to know so badly..." His grip softened, and then hardened again."She's suspended from evening class because she has disgraced and demeaned her guard with sexual harassment." He explained. "What!?" I shrieked, looking at him, but Van Winkle didn't like the fact that I broke our eye contact very much and guided my face back to hers and whispered. "Let us pour our sins into the bucket of holy water and conquer the world together." Schrödinger chuckled at the abnormal woman. "Fräulein, please let go of her face." He said, and I could sense that he was getting a bit annoyed. I saw him in the corner of my eyes, still wearing the white tank top I first saw a few moments ago. If I'm not being mistaken, he seemed a little jealous of her indiscreet actions against me. Her cold hands left my cheeks and I took this opportunity to lean down towards Schrödinger. He glanced at me with shimmering eyes, down at my lips and I only mimicked his movement. Misleading him with my sudden closeness, I licked my lips, took a deep breath and whispered "I'm more comfortable with her touching me than you."

Van Winkle's eyes widened once more, but it wasn't because of what I said this time, but what was following after. A silence entered the whole corridor.

"Schrödinger..." Van Winkle said quietly with a nervous tone, walking to my side. She put a large hand on my shoulder. "That was not necessary!~" She chimed in a sing-song voice. I felt my left cheek sting from pain but it was difficult for me to understand what had happened at first, until I heard her say "You don't go 'round hitting girls like this, especially not someone like this one. Sex offender or not..." Schrödinger didn't listen to her. He had let go of me completely and turned his back away from the two of us. My eyes were wide in pure shock and I wanted to touch my face, but I couldn't do that since my arms was stuck behind my back.

_Did he just..._

His gloved hands shook in hard fists by his sides, as well as his exposed back muscles that the white cotton blend fabric stretched over. I took a hesitant step towards him, feeling tears begin to take form in my eyes. "Schrödinger…" I said, feeling heartbroken and confused. "Sweetheart." Van Winkle turned my gaze towards hers and put a hand on the sore side of my face. "Come with me." She said and smiled so largely that her big glasses bounced up on her wrinkled nose.

* * *

"He's completely mad." Van Winkle giggled at my comment as she poured hot water in my teacup. "We're all mad here!" She said and glanced up at me. "You're too." She said contently. "Me?" I asked, feeling perhaps a bit more innocent than I was

"Yes my petite Fräulein." She said, slamming down the teapot on the table. She rubbed her hands against each other, looking around. "Oh right!" She shouted in sudden realization. "The scones!" She stumbled up from her chair and it didn't take long for her to come back with a small basket full of freshly bakes scones.

"Do you know... what he is?" I asked carefully when she sat down with me at the little round table in her comfy room. "Schrödinger? He's the Majors messenger boy. Our little pet, I suppose." She said, fingers dangling excitingly over the basket before grabbing the scone that appealed her the most.

"But he's not human, is he?" I asked, picking a scone for myself. "You're right, petite Fräulein." She dumped her tea bag on an empty plate. "He's anything but human; you could say that he's least human of all of us." She explained kindly. I watched her as she put a chunk of marmalade on her scone. She, just like Schrödinger, had a constant smirk of her own. She's completely bonkers; I must admit. But I'm still utterly convinced that she's different, and that I genuinely like her. There must be a reason that I feel somehow safe and overly comfortable in the presence of her. Her aura embraced me and made me trust her, even though she obviously was anything but human herself. Even though she's anything but what I am.

I glanced down in my tea. "Would it be kind of idiotic of me if I perhaps believed that I have sort of developed a liking towards him?" I asked, feeling my face heat up with every word of mine that created a long, gobbledygook sentence that sounded more normal in my head. Van Winkle looked at me with a scone stuck in her mouth and muffled sound left her. She looked adorable. She plopped the whole bread in her mouth and swallowed, taking a deep sip from her drink, like she had all the time in the world. She cleared her throat after thinking for about a minute. "Hmm..." She began in an charming hymn, unsure of what to say. "I do believe you _are_ slightly mad, after all." She chuckled. "But jokes aside..." She put her hand on my own which rested on the bright purple table cloth. "The best thing for you darling would be to just give it some time. Creatures like us are nothing like you humans; we have our needs, yes, but also our own personal limits. We're not monsters, sweetheart." She explained, and I listened as best as I could and nodded understandably at her words, deeply in thought.

"But why are we here?" I asked, a bit ashamed of myself for asking so many questions. "We?" She asked, tilting her head to the side. "Are there more like you?" She asked wide-eyed. "I hope not." I answered nervously with a giggle. "I came here along with a few other trainees from the Hellsing Organization." I explained and a look of disgust entered her face as she removed her hand, making me regret that I told her that. "But I'm not like them." I assured quickly, almost missing her cold touch. "I'm really trying my hardest to be impartial in this. My past is unimportant. I just have to focus on getting through my days without wanting to kill myself." I said, my ending taking an unexpected melancholic turn, but it was the truth.

Van Winkle frowned underneath her big glasses. Her glowing blue eyes stared at me thoughtfully. "I can see and sense and smell that you're different." She said. "Especially in comparison with those other imbeciles." She muttered in disgust.

"Have you met them?" I asked almost happily, curious about her thought on Penelope and the others. "I've seen them. But I didn't want to touch them, or exchange words. But don't talk to me about the smell, it involuntarily nestled itself into my nose drills, and I didn't like that." She huffed, turning her face to the side."The short and fat wannabe devil worshipper and the other girl with the brown nest of hair who won't ever keep her lips cursed..." She muttered, slender fingers gracing her teacup. "You're talking about Ann, and Penelope." I said, holding back a giggle at their first impressions on her. Her gaze snapped at me. "Are those your friends?" She asked worryingly, eyebrows in distress. I shook my head slowly, a grin breaking onto my face. Ann hadn't really done me anything wrong in general, but just thinking about Penelope makes me sick. "I don't... get along well with Penelope." I said, trying to put it out as nicely as I could.

"The brunette who priorities mascara in a prison? Hideous girl. Stay away from her." She told me seriously, like a mother would tell her child to not accept candy from strangers.

"Don't worry." I said, holding the ear of my teacup so tightly, it might as well snap at any given moment. "I hate her." I said and Rip Van Winkle began laughing hysterically.

* * *

My little conversation with Rip Van Winkle almost made me forget all about what Schrödinger actually had done. He had slapped me. It might not be the worst thing he has ever done to me, but just the simple fact that he actually decided to hit my face like that, all for the sake of my careless, yet harmless words, hurts. It hurts like hell.

I snuggled even more into the covers of my bed when I heard footsteps from the outside of my door. "Breakfast, inmate!" Of course, it wasn't Schrödinger who picked me up either. So much for being his duty. I sat up slowly, every fiber of my being told me no, but I knew I had to. "Where are your handcuffs, inmate?" Was the first question I got after standing exposed to the guard in the doorway. "I don't know." I answered, and I actually didn't. Perhaps I accidently left them in Van Winkle's place after our tea time. She helped me get out of them after she took me away from Schrödinger so we could have tea without any trouble.

The guard sighed and unbuckled the spare ones on his belt. While putting them on my wrist carelessly he muttered to himself. "Must be some brainless, stupid guard, who left along with them, idiotic incompetents... Am I the only one who can do my job right?" He muttered in a German accent. I watched him. He was about 40 years old. He had dark brown hair and heavy eyebrows, stubble beard and visible cheekbones. These guards always have outstanding cheekbones.

"You, on the other hand, must be really good at your job." I complimented, adding a sweet smile while he tightened the handcuffs harder. His movements suddenly got gentler, and he took a few seconds to examine me. My hair was undone and I probably had dark circles around my eyes, but he seemed to like what he saw. He tugged at the handcuffs, one last rough time and murmured in my ear with a smirk, "I'm good alright."He gave my back a push towards the dining area. "Move, inmate." He ordered, and I could feel something in my heart drop. It wasn't Sir Daddy Moo's extended "mooove", but I guess I can get used to this sort of treatment, as I must get used to everything else_._

When we arrived at the cafeteria, it was more empty than usual. All of my former colleagues were seated, and a few soldiers here and there. I glanced at them in the corner table. They always sat in the corner table. When I saw Penelope, an idea struck me and I glanced up at my temporary or completely new escort. "Excuse me, Sir." I said softly to him. He glared down at me. "I'm aware that we're not allowed to sit in groups, but it seems like they've rejected that idea. I know it's wrong, sir. But may I join them? I've been feeling very lonely lately…" I asked, pointing to their table. I blinked like I had something stuck in my eyes, hoping my eyelashes grew as I fluttered them and my lips turned into a light pout. The guard shot a glare towards their table, and looked back at me suspiciously. I got closer to him, not leaving his eyes. "Please." I whispered softly. He cleared his throat as my face was a bit too close for him to bear. When a small red blush embraced those sharp cheekbones, he gave me another push forward. "Proceed." He said, his voice cracking when he spoke and I had to suck in my lips to not laugh at how stupid he was.

Mission almost completed. My eyes had her targeted, and I walked rapidly towards the brown waves of hair, trying to remain calm, but my heart was beating like never before. I had thought this through this morning, ever since my escort greeted me by my cell. I knew exactly what I was going to say to Penelope, for her to know my true intentions. I walked quickly past the place where you picked your food, but no one seemed to care that I was more than walking, empty-handedly towards my own group of people, no one except one. A sudden presence almost made me forget how to walk. He was here and he had been here the entire time, waiting for me. And he stood leaned against the wall in the middle of the cafeteria, watching me walk across the floor between chairs and tables and seated Millennium soldiers. His ears perked up at the sight of me and a clearer grin took form on his face as he watched me make my way over to my corner. He was once again fully dressed in his complete Nazi uniform. All buttons buttoned. Swastika in place on his upper arm, and black tie perfectly knotted and accessorized with the symbol of their organization nailed to it.

I only gave him a glance when I passed him, only a few meters between us as we made eye contact and seeing those keen pink orbs look at me gave me the last adrenalin I needed. I didn't stop to say hi, I kept walking towards her, and I was convinced that Schrödinger knew. His eyes remained on me, and he continued to watch me as I got closer and closer to the table in the corner. Having Schrödinger in my back helped me to do things I might not be able to do on my own. He watched me closely after I'd faced Penelope's exciting greeting and never stopped from there.

"Hi, _! I'm glad you're here, We thought-" Penelope cut off herself as I leaned down towards her and interrupted her eating. Everyone was here. Ann. Kevin. Naomi. Berry, and they all looked at me curiously, always curiously.

"You were right." I said to her. She tilted her head to the side innocently. "What?" She asked even though she heard me just fine, already getting too full of herself as a proud and cocky expression began taking form on her face. "I was right about what?" She repeated my words, so the others would be certain about what I'd said to her and her only. I beamed at her, and stood up properly, watching the whole squad. "You only have to find the right guard." I said, making sure that all of the people sitting there could hear. I mentioned back to the man who escorted me earlier, who stood talking to one of his partners. "If it weren't for your advice about seducing them, Penelope, then I wouldn't be standing here right now. Thank you for sharing your naughty hacks with me!" A large blush spread across Penelope's face as the others looked at each other scandalously, and then all at her at once. "Penelope!" Ann shouted accusingly with a wordless grin.

"W-w-what? " She asked nervously, trying to act as her usual, sweet self, but the angry eyes she gave me betrayed her. "I don't know what you're talking about, _." She muttered to me grimly. "Oh, don't worry Pen..." I smiled, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Don't be embarrassed; I always knew you were an expert on things like that. With your looks, you must have your way here everyday." I said and smiled, hoping she would understand that I didn't want to be her friend her anymore. I let my hand leave her shoulder. "No matter _what_ you must do." I finished, feeling like I'd proven my point already, I turned towards the food area. I think I had a smirk on my face. At least I thought it was. I'm not sure if I'm capable of pulling off a smirk of my own. I dumped an awkward silence at their table. Ann cleared her throat and Kevin and the others looked around uncomfortably.

It wasn't until a stunned chuckle left Berry - Penelope's former love interest - that really set Penelope off. I turned around at the sound of cutleries clattered against the table, and Penelope was standing up in her seat, outraged. "Are you implying something, _?" She shouted, her question echoing in the dining room. Schrödinger was right, she wasn't a smart person. She already had snapped the attention of a handful of soldiers and other staff members. I didn't answer her. Not only because it would involve me in this badly formation of an unpleasant incident, but because my flight-mode kicked in. I didn't like it when people shouted at me."I know what you're trying to call me!" She cried out loud, dark hair flying around her tomato face. The whole cafeteria fell silent before her voice. Even the guards were too puzzled at her sudden outburst to do anything. Everything felt so absurd. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry when I stood there awkwardly in the middle of the dining room, the large Swastika hovering above us all with my both hand in front of me in handcuffs, and Penelope shouting at me from the top of her lungs. "If someone's a WHORE then it's you _! Your UGLY- "

Me eyes were already wide. Seeing her like this, and hearing her voice scream like a wounded pig. Being called a whore wasn't the most appealing thing either, but what made me completely devastated was beyond every dirty insult she could've come up with. My eyeballs were almost out of my head from the biggest shock I've had in my entire life. Not at her rage. Not at her words. Not at her sudden outburst. But another sort of burst, an explosion, a loud bang. Just after she had yelled that, a tiny movement could be seen in the corner of my eyes, and just like that, her enraged face froze, and her brown-curled head fell down on the table, the rest of her body collapsing sitting on her chair. Ann and Naomi shrieked and Kevin quickly stood. Berry was too dumbfounded to give off any reaction. "OH MY GOD!" Ann exclaimed in terror, grabbing Naomi at her side, who looked like she wanted to throw up.

At first I thought that Penelope had gotten so angry with me that she had blown up herself like a cartoon figure, but that wasn't the case at all. Someone had put a bullet in her head. I looked a Schrödinger, who lowered the weapon just in time for me to know that it was him. Then he tossed the weapon back to a random guard at his side who received it with a confusion that was telling me that he wasn't even aware of Schrödinger "borrowing" it.

I looked back at the scene. Blood leaked out of her skull; soaking both her hair and her peach colored shirt. I remember how much she liked that shirt; and how she always had to say that her aunt had said that the color suited her. Every single time she wore it. The silence was absolute. My lips formed into a grin, yet my voice came out sore and saddened. "Pen..." I said. I stepped closer to her. "Penelope." I repeated, lips trembling. She didn't answer me. The whole table had been covered with the red liquid. Penelope's plate bathed in blood in front of her. She hadn't even finished her meal. The only response I got was the sound of a string of blood that had flooded down to the floor like a tiny waterfall from a cliff. Her cutlery remained where she had tossed them furiously. I stood beside her now, placing my hand on top of her head. Her hair was damp and the palm of my hand felt moisturized. "Finish your food Penelope." I whispered. "You must eat. Skipping dinner won't make you thinner. You're not a supermodel. How many times must I say it?" I fell to my knees beside her chair. "Eat Penelope…" My knees felt soaked. The floor was already stained. I put my hand on her lower back, accidently transferring blood to the peach fabric without intending to. "Eat up." I said, and I heard a unfamiliar voice that didn't belong to her answer me.

**"Move inmate."**

"But she must finish!" I explained, utterly convinced that she was still alive, looking desperately up at a guard who stared down at the mess like it was a bag pile of trash he had to take care off, and I was in his way for his waste disposal service.

People began gathering around the table. Berry, who finally was able to get out of his chair, grabbed Naomi, mentioning for her to get away from this situation. Ann had left long ago, crying hysterically with Kevin not far behind. I embraced Penelope's waist. I was the only one left with her.

**"Inmate. You got five seconds to-"**

"NO! GET AWAY FROM HER!" I cried, hugging her to me. The chair moved in the process and her lifeless body fell on top of me. Penelope was a lot heavier than she looked. I held her in my lap anyway, looking up at all the unfamiliar faces above me with terror in my eyes. Everyone looked the same. Everyone had frowns; lips in straight lines, sharp cheekbones and heavy eyebrows. Everyone except one.

This one had a grin on his face, and a gleeful shine in his eyes and he was watching the scene with curiosity, ears perking up to the ceiling like he just had found a little rat to play with.

Because that's what I am, am I not? We're all lab rats in this awful experiment. Not all of us may come out alive, but the one who gets out will not ever be the same again. The guard, who spoke to me earlier, took out his gun and pointed it at my head. "Move away from her, inmate." He said and wouldn't hesitate to kill me the same way Schrödinger had killed Penelope. Mentioning Schrödinger; his ears wiggled in sudden realization that his toy mouse was in danger, and he stepped into the scene at last. He held his hand up. "Oh, hold on now. Haven't we had enough death already?" He chimed with a nervous grin, standing in between me and the gunman. "Just give her- Uh, I mean, the inmate a little bit of time now, shall we?" He turned to me and offered me a hand. "Can you stand,_?" He asked quietly, his soft smile calming my soul. I looked down; both of my hands were on Penelope's body. One was holding her head and the other rested on her belly, but both were stained in blood.

The moment my hand left Penelope's flat stomach and intertwined with his gloved one, I realized that I just stepped into his world. He pulled me to his chest and I stepped over her corpse, accidently stepping on her hand. "Sorry." I whispered, looking down at her body. Schrödinger examined my wrists, making sure the handcuffs were still there, before he turned my body away from the scene and led me towards the exit, walking alongside me.

Tears of unknown streamed down my face as we walked through the endless corridors. Schrödinger moved his hands from my arms and put them around my waist fondly when he was sure we were out of sight. "You're brave, _." Schrödinger said.

"You're brave."


	11. Fire Fire Pants A Liar

"Look at you..." Schrödinger mumbled, padding the side of my face with a cloth. "You're so filthy." He said, pressing the former white cloth empty of pink colored water in a bucket on the floor. We were now inside the infirmary room, a room I have never been in before. Schrödinger took me here, away from the cafeteria and saved me from the dreadfulness of curious eyes. Maybe he just wanted to save his own skin, but from what I understand, Schrödinger seems to be able to commit genocide without getting himself in trouble.

He was squatting down on the floor beside the bucket before me, sitting on his boots while he grinned up me, seated on the infirmary table. He put his hands on the tip of my shoes, swinging my feet back and forth slightly. "Are you angry?" He asked, tilting his head to the side. I shook my head slowly. Not quite sure if I was mad at him or not, but it was for the best. He let out a satisfied giggle as he examined my body. "She's all over you..." He said, letting go of my toes. "Even your knees are stained, how did you manage to get this much blood on you? You look like you've survived gunfire at the front." My eyes left his when he began talking about war. "I was... out of line." I explained, and Schrödinger began untying my shoes. "No worries about that. I'll help you get back to normal in a jiffy!" He said optimistically.

_Back to normal._

"At least your socks are clean..." He said gaily sympathetically, sitting up. He dusted off his shorts and looked at my legs and I looked at his grinning face. "We must remove these too." He said, mentioning to my pants before putting the bucket away. He looked back at me normally, and I nodded in understanding. No person on earth would be okay with wearing these pants. Yet, even though Schrödinger didn't seem to be up to something else than helping me, it didn't stop this moment to be utterly uncomfortable and make me feel super embarrassed. Schrödinger rubbed his hands together before removing his dirty gloves. "Here we go." Putting the bloodied gloves beside me on the table, he kneeled down in front of me, and I wiggled awkwardly out of my trousers as he tugged at the fabric at my ankles. I shivered as the cold air embraced my nude legs. Schrödinger stood back up again and put my pants in a messy pile on top of his gloves, and I took this as an opportunity to jump off the table. I didn't even know why I suddenly wanted to do that, it was just an instinct I got. But to my own misfortune; my plan ended up in disaster or at least in a very weird way as I now stood on the floor in my underwear, probably more exposed than what I was before when I was sitting down. He turned back to me, surprised that I had jumped off the infirmary table.

"Are _you_ angry?" I gave the question back to him, wanting to change subject, but also wanting to know if he was. Schrödinger looked me in the eyes, remembering what had happened during out meeting with Rip Van Winkle. "I was..." He said, his face turning less gleeful. "I'm sorry." He said, his bare hand reaching up to the side of my face. "I wish I hadn't – I was out of line." He explained, using my own words. I smiled at that, accepting his touch. He stroked his thumb underneath my eye. "I shot her." He whispered, licking his lips and looked down in a way that he just had confessed that to me and was nervous about how I would react. But already knew. I was there, and I saw him aiming a gun at her."Yes... You did Schrödinger." I said, more kindly that necessary. "Do you want to know why?" He asked. He removed his hand from my face, examining the little blood on his fingertips. I didn't answer him, but he continued anyway. "She was all over you. And not in this way..." He chuckled, licking the blood off his fingers, making my face cringe with disgust.

"Also..." He smiled to himself with content after smacking his lips from her taste. "She seemed to have caught my attention a bit, which wasn't good for us, _. But as I supposed, she taste's bad, and that made her nothing but a pretty face. She's dead now, however-"

"You were interested in her." I mumbled in slow realization and dissatisfaction, while examining his face with a concerned frown. Schrödinger looked unmoved by my upset reaction and shrugged his shoulders. "A little bit, yes, but mostly because it made you jealous." He supposed. When he smirked I pushed him. I don't know what's gotten into me but I actually pushed him. Both of my hands slammed against his chest, making him stumble backwards slightly, but he didn't look the slightest taken back as his face remained smug and calm. "You're awful." I said, his attitude only encouraging me to push him again, and again. It was his own fault for freeing me from the chains. "I knew it." I said between the pushes. "I should've known better!" I was just about to push him another time when he grabbed hold of my hands, preventing me from making that happen. "Do indeed continue _." He said in fascination, moving towards me whilst glancing down at my bare legs in the process. "It's fine; you can push me until you no longer can cope. Push me as hard as you can." He said and I tried my best to stay put, but it was difficult to stand firmly without my shoes on. My socks only ended up slipping on the glossy floor that had transformed into a skid pad after he'd began walking towards me. "Didn't it feel good? Do you want me to feel pain _?" He asked, and in the blink of an eye, he'd led me behind a blocking curtain, so we were less exposed if someone would come into the infirmary room. It was much darker in this department. "Let out your anger. Hurt me." He dared me in a whisper. He lowered his voice "But what's the point? She's doesn't exist anymore." I blinked at his words and took a deep breath before reminding him of the obvious."You killed her." I said calmly, still having trouble to let that sink in. It was hard to realize such a complex thing.

"For the sake of us." He answered, like that reason made his actions completely innocent. He let go of me and grabbed my hands in his. He leaned towards my face. "You're so naive sometimes. You're really adorable, _." He said in his most convincing way, letting go of my hands to kiss my cheek slowly. I grabbed his chin and pushed his face away. "Don't do that."I said, but he only smirked at my rejection and leaned in again, urging my hand away nonchalantly. "Then what am I allowed to do?" He murmured against my lips.

I had no answer to his question as both of my hands placed themselves on his chest in defeat. He placed his hands on my hip bones and moved down across the thin fabric of my underwear, stopping at my thighs. His hands were both warm and cold, and the fact that he was touching me without gloves sent tingles along my spine. "You're so bare." He breathed in my ear, pulling our lower regions closer. My whole body felt flushed; not only was my face blushing, but I was blushing through my flesh and all the way into my bones. "All thanks to your beautiful, dead girlfriend." He finished, eager hands exploring skin never shown before now. "Penelope has nothing to do with this." I whispered to him in agony, whilst examining the different shades of red in his eyes.

"You're right." Schrödinger smirked, backing me further into the new environment. "She's gone now." He said, hands moving from my thighs upwards and underneath my shirt. "But pigments of her remain, so it must be removed." He said and pulled the bloodstained piece of clothing above my head. He dropped the fabric to the floor and embraced my bare being almost instantly, breathing in the scent of me when nestling into the hook of my neck. The cold metal buttons on his uniform felt arctic against my heated skin. "Let's remove it, together." His breath felt like hot steam when it collided with my cold-sweaty bare neck.

"You're almost clean." He said. Almost. "Schrödinger..." I asked, feeling everything at once. It all happened so quickly."What will happen during these next moments?" I asked and a fit of giggles suddenly left him; his blond hair tickled the surface beneath my chin. "Now you're talking so maturely again!" He said, hugging me closer. "I love you." He said quietly, grabbing the back of my head gently but firmly."What?" I asked breathlessly.

"I love it. I love it when you're talking like that." He said quickly. "So warm..." He whispered to my collarbones, referring to my body heat. I wasn't sure of what to do in a moment like this. I didn't know what to do with my arms, and the rest of my body what so ever, especially when being this exposed. The bold person I once was in the Evening Class was long gone, and I had forgotten all about her. Perhaps she had gotten killed along with Penelope. "Will you get in trouble now?" I asked when thinking about Penelope again, hands feeling the stiff material of his uniform that dressed every inch of his back. Young back muscles merely noticed underneath.

"Trouble? Why?" He chimed, still enjoying himself in our embrace. "You just killed a person." I said, not sure if I should laugh or not. I felt his lips smirk against my skin. "You're saying that in such a casual way." He said, and when I thought about it, I actually did.

I talked about death, murder, like it was nothing. And this was not just a person. It was a human, a girl the same age as me, that I've known for years; a former colleague. Perhaps even a friend of mine. Or was she just a creature that made me feel the sin of envy?

"But to answer that question of yours..." Schrödinger pulled away from me, putting his smooth, cold hands on the sides of my ribcage. "How can someone like me ever get in trouble?" He asked. He was smiling at me, exposing his white teeth and canines. His eyes glanced down at my body timidly. A hand reached up to grace one of my collarbones. "You are blushing… all the way out to your shoulders..." He explained in a whisper, sounding flattered whilst his hand was touching me, fingers mentioning with an intimate wandering towards the bump on my left shoulder, kind of where the collarbone ended. His eyes gleamed in the dim darkness at the sight of my uncovered skin and his lips had taken rest in wonder and scrutiny, forming a small circle in place of the endless smile he always carried with him. "It's all because of you." I said, making his pink orbs dart up towards my gaze.

He looked strangely surprised. Something had changed into his eyes and I could see how deeply he had gotten into his thoughts. I could see the intelligence in his eyes. He frowned softly and cocked his head to the side, looking at me the whole time. "Me?" He asked, fingertips digging into my skin as his grip on my shoulder hardened. "That doesn't make sense. I don't have control over you."And with those words, his touch disappeared. He stepped back, giving me room to breathe. He slowly backed away from me, one step at a time. "This is what you decide for yourself. You're biting into the apple, Eve." Schrödinger said, and I could no longer bear with that name. "My name is not Eve..." I walking towards him, finally having that said, until I stepped on something. My removed shirt. When I bent down to pick it up, Schrödinger appeared squatting behind me, whispering in my ear. "Correct, but you are what you are whether you're named or nameless."

I hugged the piece of fabric to my chest, after hearing his German drenched words. His oddly muscular arms snaked around my sitting position and pulled me to him; my almost fully naked back colliding with his dressed torso."My precious Eve." He breathed in my ear.

Then all of the sudden, the lights in this department lit up. I looked back at Schrödinger for an explanation but he looked just as confused as I was. His ruby eyes squinted up at the ceiling before glancing into my eyes again. His lips began forming silent words. _"Put your shirt on."_

* * *

As soon as I had put my shirt back on and Schrödinger helped me to get up from the floor, he yanked me in a random direction, hushing me with his whispers. "Down here, Eve!" He hissed, lifting up a white table cover from a table I hadn't even noticed before now. He made sure I was out of sight before he crawled underneath it himself. To my surprise, it wasn't dark in here and I could outline Schrödinger's face perfectly clearly.

He caught me staring at the side of his face and glanced back down at me. His ruby eyes glossed with excitement after the rush from the shared adrenalin we both felt. _"You think we will be caught this time?"_ He whispered so quietly, his lips barely moved as his gaze was back into my eyes, once again. Perhaps they didn't move at all. Maybe he was in my head.

Not daring to answer his question because of the fear of being busted underneath the table, I only swallowed and looked down at my naked thighs. It didn't take long before Schrödinger's hand was visible on them though. _'I know you're thinking about it too.'_

I don't know what shocked me the most; the theory that he no longer whispered and an echo suddenly tinted his words inside my head, or the fact that his bare hand ever so slowly moved towards my abdomen; his silky palm gracing the warmth of my inner thighs. _'Admit it.´_

My hand caught his in silence as I blocked his path to my underwear line. He responded to my contact, slender fingers squeezing my skin, showing mercy to my own cowardly touch that resisted him timidly.

_'Don't resist me.'_

I didn't have time or patience for this. Someone else other than us was in this room with us. But Schrödinger didn't seem to care less about that fact. He reminded me that he had another perfectly working hand as he pulled me even closer to him, looping his arm around my waist. I had to let go of his hand now, or else I might end up outside of our little hiding place, since I wasn't in my firmest bodily form at the moment.

His hand continued its way along the forbidden path; mockingly floating just above the smaller piece of fabric as his palm ended up right underneath my belly button, slowly moving downwards. _You wouldn't dare, Schrödinger._

_'Oh, so you finally understand how this works?'_

My uncomfortable gaze shot at Schrödinger who had a satisfied smirk on his face. His cursed hand showed my delicate and private part mercy as he moved both of his hands to the sides of my face.

**"They capture the coltish youths; one with the façade of a 14-year-old boy in the throes of first love, but somehow missing is the fever of a relationship that spirals toward death!"**

I recognized the sing-song voice almost instantly after the sound of slammed doors fell into the room like something heavy was dropped on the floor.

**"Rip Wan Winkle... What on earth are you talking about?" **A harsher voice answered her operatic voice. **"The girl! Obviously! And messenger boy! Schrödinger obviously did it for her sake." **Van Winkle answered dramatically. Her version of the story seemed to have turned into a happy operetta about ruthless revenge and fateful love. I looked at Schrödinger. We sat like two statues, in the same position Schrödinger had chosen himself. His hand still held my face, but his ruby orbs were looking elsewhere as his ears began wiggling in a listening manner. I tried my best to listen too. A frown began to take form on his face.

**"The purpose of the shooting is unimportant. Officer Jack's death was one thing, but killing a Hellsing Trainee in unacceptable. That will ruin everything."**

**"Zorin, relax. It was only that brown haired tart. If you ask me, he made a splendid decision!" **

My face felt cold and left alone. I looked at Schrödinger again who had released me. His ears had lowered down back at his head and he sat with his knees hugged against his chest. He looked to be deep in thought. We had found a perfect hiding spot underneath another examination table which had a large table cloth tossed over it. We could outline Zorin's and Van Winkle's forms in two silhouettes behind the highlighted fabric.

**"If the Major ever finds out about this-"**

**"Eh, what ever! We still have lots of fun to look forward too! This was just some extra we wanted to add to spice up our big mission a bit. We still have plenty of trainees left to play with… But you better keep your manly hands off my ****petite Fräulein****!"**

**"I won't steal your wacko girlfriend Rip Van Winkle. Why would I want someone like her, when there are handsome young men in that group?"**

I covered my mouth to stifle a puzzled laugh when hearing Zorin's scandalous words and I got Schrödinger to raise an eyebrow at me. So she obviously has a thing for Kevin, but did she really call me wacko just now? Schrödinger resisted a small smirk, seeming to be amused by my reaction._´You're being cruel, Eve. What did__ that gangly, greasy haired receptionist ever do to you? Perhaps the reason for your mockery is that you fancy him?´_

My hand slowly left my mouth in order to express my dead-panned face to him whole-heartedly. How dare he believe that I have some sort of crush on Kevin?

"**ZORIN! Your DOG!" **Van Winkle exclaimed, waving her arms around like a lunatic. I would too if I wasn't trapped underneath the table.

**"Jokes aside; the issue with catboy can't be forgotten. I want you to have a little talk with him, understood? Refer him to the Doctor and make sure that he digs deeper in his rebellious behavior and get the boy checked up. And wash your hands, they're still full of that girl's blood; dirty non-virgin blood." **Zorin muttered and I couldn't help but look down at the browned stains on the hem of my shirt.

**"Yes ma'am."** Rip Van Winkle stated and saluted. The door slammed shut and Van Winkle was left alone in the infirmary room. Well, almost. We heard her footsteps as she walked towards the sink while humming a happy tone. The water goes on.

**"O! Come out, small volatile birds of inspiration!" **She sang. Schrödinger was the first of us to jump out from our hiding place. He sighed out in relief, like he had been holding his breath in the entire time. "Geez thank you for covering up for me, Fräulein! I'm sorry for being a handful sometimes." He said, scratching the back of his head with a sheepish grin. Rip Van Winkle waved a wet, gloveless hand at him."Go ask the lord for forgiveness, that's why he exist. Besides; Birds of a feather flock together, right?" She winked at both of us, but even so I couldn't help but feel a little bit left out. I didn't belong in Millennium. I stood out like a sore thumb. In more ways than one…

"Covering up for each other is what we do! Covering… COVERING! GOOD GRIEF! FIND SOMETHING TO COVER **HER** UP! LOOK AT YOU!" Rip Van Winkle shouted when discovering my bare legs. "Where are your pants petite Fräulein?" She asked in terror, pointing at my panties. Her slender finger landed on Schrödinger next. "WHERE IS HER PANTS?" She grabbed his shoulders and shook him furiously. "What have you done to her your little pervert?!" She asked, her cheeks reddening, either in anger or in an embarrassment that I was responsible of. Schrödinger was right actually. It was pretty invigorating to get busted.

* * *

"I-I'm sorry. I can't do it." I protested, feeling ashamed of myself for being ungrateful. But I couldn't help it. Rip Van Winkle looked like she would break down and cry in the matter of seconds at my disapproval. In her slender hand she held a clothing hanger with a Millennium uniform attached to it. "But you would look so cute." She said in a meek voice, and then she managed to sound even more pitiably adorable when she said "We would match."

With a twinkling of her two enormous blue hues and a pout on her lips, she tried so hard to convince me that I felt a bit sorry for her, but I had already made up my mind ceaselessly.

"I can't." I said, tugging down the hem of my shirt, in an attempt to hide my upper thighs. I suppose wearing it wouldn't kill me, but simply looking at the Swastika made me more than uncomfortable. Having to withstand the evil symbol on Schrödinger each and every day was quite enough, but I wouldn't go so far actually wearing it myself.

"But I don't want you undressed!" Rip Van Winkle whined, yet putting down the uniform sulkily on a footstool in defeat. "Okay, possibly … but not for **everyone** to see." She mumbled, still wearing a pout on her lips. I didn't really know where we were exactly. It was a dressing room of some sort; attached to the infirmary room. "Perhaps she likes having fewer clothes on her!" Schrödinger suggested happily. He was sitting on top of a low shelf, acting innocent, but that sentence speaks for itself perfectly well. His gangly legs were swinging in the air as his heels bumped into the furniture. "Hush it you!" Van Winkle hissed at him, making him laugh it off with a wave of his hand. His hands were still as bare as my legs and they bothered me to no end and I still found myself staring. When he caught me in my act, I immediately shot my gaze elsewhere.

I thought our tense interactions would rest from there, but not quite. "Fräulein, would you mind leaving us alone for a minute?" Schrödinger asked, jumping of the shelf. I looked at him in confusion; his cheerful face had faded slightly and turned more mature after asking Van Winkle to leave."Oh My!" She groaned, eyebrows shaping up in distress. "Don't tell me that Zorin and I disturbed something... forbidden?" She looked at me, almost in disappointment. "Inappropriate." She mouthed in a whisper; thin lips making themselves noticed. "Are you in love with him?" She asked me with a deadpanned expression. My heart jumped and stopped in my ribcage. Schrödinger scratched the back of his head and smiled cheekily. "Winkle..." He said and let out a bothered sigh. "I'm sure she's only slightly uncomfortable by your presence. She would most likely change clothes if only one of us is in her company and since I've known her for a while longer than you; please precede." He was talking whilst walking towards the exit and he now stood with the door open for her. Van Winkle looked upset."But-"

"Thank you, again!" With that, Schrödinger actually managed to push out her gangly form into the other room and lock the door to secure our privacy. Everything happened so quickly; He suddenly stood in front of me, looking me in the eyes. "Where were we?" He asked.

"Nowhere, really…" I answered, pulling at the hem of my shirt once again. "Why couldn't she stay?" I asked, genuinely curious. He grabbed my hands to prevent me from covering up my upper thighs, forcing my fingers to let go of the fabric. "That would be pretty risky, now wouldn't it Eve?"

"My name is not Eve."

"Doesn't matter." He stepped closer, taking control of the fabric on my body as he pulled the shirt above my head once again. My skin got attacked by the unfamiliar and new air inside the dressing room and I covered my chest with my arms in instant. Schrödinger turned his attention to the uniform on the footstool where he exchanged my shirt.

"If this is bothering you so much, then let's just remove it, shall we?" He asked, ripping off the Nazi symbol from the greenish shirt. He began unbuttoning all of the buttons while walking slowly towards me with the shirt. "Entangle your arms." He demanded with a certain maturity about him that made me less modest, so I obeyed him, and he helped me to dress my upper body. He started buttoning the shirt from below and worked his way upwards, and it wasn't until he buttoned the last button in-between the collar that he offered me a smile.

"This was fun." He purred, grasping me by the collar and pulled me down to his level. "I find it funny because you were in need of a pair of pants and I gave you a new shirt instead and you're still half-naked." He explained mischievously. "But isn't this a complete uniform?" I asked, hearing how naïve I was, and pressing my legs together while glancing at the footstool where he must have left the pants. He forced my stare back, giving my collar a firm but gentle pull. "Of course; it can't be called a uniform unless all the pieces are put together..." He murmured. He kissed me on the lips slowly and pulled away with a breathy giggle. "Do you realize how fragile you- your body is? Uncovered by something so meaningless like fabric that could be cut to pieces like paper?" He asked, and then he kissed me again, this time leaning onto me, making me stumble back, but he was persistent enough to pull me back to him. In that one moment, a horrible thing happened. Schrödinger's lips parted while we kissed, and it was somehow terrifying to me so I pulled away. Schrödinger still looked satisfied, even though we didn't get any further. "S-sorry." I stammered. He gave me a soft glance through half lidded eyes. "What are you sorry for?" He asked me softly.

"I don't know. I just thought you wanted to-"

My heart stopped when he cut my voice off with his own and after his inappropriate question got recorded in my system.

"You're a virgin, aren't you?" He interrupted, eyes wide open once again and if I thought that I've blushed enough in his presence, I was completely wrong. He glanced down at my lips before his grip on the uniform collar softened. He placed his hands on my shoulders and they traveled down my arms and took my hands that rested beside my pelvis. He tilted his head to the side and planted a kiss on my jaw line.

It felt a bit unfair. I wanted to kiss him too, but it just felt wrong. I've kissed him before, yet it felt much better when he had control. However, his affection was all enough for me. His touch supplemented for everything. All I wanted, and could do was asking for more. Like he had read my thoughts; He placed his lips on mine, tugging my hands to his sides so I fell onto him. He didn't move an inch; it was like his boots were glued to the floor.

I had to move away, not because I wanted. He had stopped pressing his lips and I refused to take it from here; I refused to be alone in this. Our faces had only millimeters in-between our gazes. We both panted softly. My hands fidgeted around until they got a proper grip on Schrödinger's bare hands. "Do that again." I whispered, almost demandingly.

"I won't." He was quick to whisper back with a smirk on his lips. I let out a small sight. His teasing could be way too much sometimes. I reached out to him, not pouting the slightest with my lips. All I wanted was to be spoiled by his touch and kisses. "Eve." He said, snapping his head back slightly in order to avoid my craving. "I won't." He repeated more seriously. I pulled away from him completely, only to look at him in confusion once again. "Why not?" I asked dumbfounded. This made him laugh, for some reason. His hands escaped my hold as he let out a chuckle, sharp canines noticed. "I couldn't do that." He murmured, traces of amusement gracing his features. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Well you see-" Schrödinger betrayed my eyes as he looked to the side, just like he was looking for answers.

"I know how you work." He said. "I know how you will feel. I know how much you like it." He continued on. His last sentence was sensual, yet he did not look or sound anything like it. Instead of the classic smirk and half-lidded gaze so did he simply stare at me with a wide eerie gaze and a naked expression while keeping his distance from me. "And I know how you will regret it afterwards." He looked a bit crazy, to be honest. All I could see was a pair of wide ruby eyes with whites around them. Not a smile or smirk could be seen. It was the face of a cat; timidly taking in its surroundings with curiosity, and instinct. "I am many things but I am not cruel." He backed towards the footstool, refusing to let me go with his eyes.

"It's too easy for me. I'm able to drag you completely out of your mind and make you do things to my advantage. I can seduce you, do whatever I want with you, and afterwards, perhaps kill you. That's how easy it is, Eve. You don't have a chance against me, or anyone else in the Millennium Organization in that matter." He fished up the uniform trousers behind his back, gaze still loyal to mine. "I sort of pity you. How does it feel to be in love with a heartless immortal?" He asked curiously.

"But you implied that you loved me." My voice was weak. "Words can do much, Eve." Schrödinger said, looking down at the trousers in his hands. "You lied to me." I said. "I never lie." He handed me the pants, but I refused to take them. "This is what I mean. You have more emotions in your little finger than what I have in my whole body. You're too sensitive."

"I'm-"

I'm not sensitive, I wanted to say but I couldn't. He was still reaching out the pair of pants to me. I was too dumbfounded to receive them. I didn't want anything from him anymore. I would even walk around in my underwear, for everyone to see. Schrödinger sighed."Eve-"

"Don't." I said and stepped away from him. His arm dropped to his side, one of the trouser legs joined the floor in that movement. "So you'd rather walk around like that?" He asked, looking slightly tired from putting up with me. "Than accept anything from you? Then you're right." Schrödinger rolled his eyes at my words.

"You didn't have any problems accepting something from me moments ago." He murmured, a ghost of a smirk on his lips, gaze far far away. "Murderer." I said. "You're a murderer and a liar." I told him. "I never lie." He answered simply, completely untouched by the other thing I accused him for.

I felt those annoying tears prick my eyes again. "You're not cruel, you said." Schrödinger looked at me, the smirk disappearing. "If that is not a lie, then I don't know what it is." I could hear the tears sabotage my voice in my throat. "You're cruel." I said. "You're so cruel Schrödinger."

And to all of those who are wondering out there; I didn't call Schrödinger cruel for killing Penelope, and I also didn't call Schrödinger a murderer for killing Penelope. I called Schrödinger cruel for breaking my heart, and I called him a murderer because he is a lovekiller. That's what he is. He's a coldblooded murderer.

Schrödinger did not look angry. He did not look happy and he absolutely did not look upset. He still held the Millennium uniform pants, his arms restless at his side; probably numb from reaching out to me for too long. You could see the fatigue in his whole face. He gave one last attempt to make me dress myself, by handing me the uniform piece. I actually took the trousers this time, but as I did, I did not put them on, and I did not say thank you. The only words that rolled off my tongue were "Kill me."

I looked up at the ceiling, my eyes stinging, his stare becoming too much for me to bear. "Eve…" Schrödinger called. "Please…" I whispered calmly back. "Kill her, I know you want to. Just get rid of her before I do it myself." I asked, hearing myself talk about suicide for the first time. I closed my eyes, losing myself with every word and I didn't even want to take them back. "If you think that I want you dead, you're wrong." Schrödinger said after a long silence. "That's not what I want." He added. When I opened my eyes, tears leaped down my face. "Then what do you want?" I asked, hearing my own voice crack.

"Are you looking up because you're asking the Gods for help because you're sad?" He asked instead of answering my question, his own lighthearted question reminding me of a child's. When I did not answer, he began talking instead. "I remember you doing it in the Evening Class too." He said, making me remember as well. "You even prayed, I could hear it in your thoughts. How was the prayer again? ´_Dear father who's in heaven… Don't´_-"

"_Do not_ lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen." I corrected and finished for him without looking down. I spoke carelessly quickly and my words came out more emotionless, almost sarcastic, than I was meaning to. I could sense a smile on Schrödinger's lips. "Oh, I just realized… Hellsing is some sort of religious Organization, right?" He asked. "Impressive for you to remember all that; did you pray just now? I couldn't find anything in your system, but perhaps it was a quiet prayer?"

I didn't want to discuss this subject with Schrödinger but I couldn't help it. "No." I said. "I didn't pray."

"Did you ask the Gods for help then?" Schrödinger asked, and in all horrors, I found myself shaking my head. "There is no God here." I said, feeling my lips tremble. I always thought a statement like that would get you hit by lightning, but nothing happened so I held onto my words. "I don't even think there is a heaven existing anymore, within this darkness."

A silence left the room, like the great Lord himself had deserted me then and there. When I at last looked at Schrödinger, he stood completely still.

I had expected him to be pleased and proud of me sinking to the point where I had rejected my religious ideal; one of the purposes of Hellsing Organization which is the enemy to his own organization. But Schrödinger wasn't any of that, in fact, the completely opposite. He didn't look pleased or proud, if I wasn't mistaken, I saw guilty and compassion in the boys face. I thought I saw it, even though hi hands were at his sides like in a lineup with soldiers, and his gaze was firm and straight forward, whenever it was on me or simply out in the open air was difficult to say. But straight as a pine, he was, like he was only seconds from marching into war, but he looked upset nevertheless. With a voice too serious for him, he said "Then why do I see an angel?"

His words made me sniff back my sorrow so I could speak. "What?" I asked, and even though I'd heard him and the two of us were alone, I wanted to make sure it was me he was talking too. His far of eyes made me uncertain. After he'd blinked, his eyes had more presence in them, and I could be certain that he was looking at me and talking to me and me alone. His lips smiled, yet he was still unmoving. "You heard me. I know this might not be as… heavenly as the real heaven, and there must definitely exist a better place, but this place isn't that bad, right? You got me after all." He said, and there was the pride in his eyes. I clutched onto the uniform pants tighter, feeling my heart trying to fly away like a little bird. "Have you tried killing an angel before?" I asked him, the suicidal thoughts returning in the middle of the affectionate. "In all honesty," Schrödinger said. "I have never met one before so the thought of slaying one has never taken its hold on me."

"Now you can do both." I said. "I don't see myself as an angel, but since you do; You got your chance right now."

Schrödinger listened to me carefully, and for a moment, I even think I saw that he was considering it. "I know." He admitted. "But what would I get out of it?" He asked, and before I could answer, he asked another question. "Are you going to put those on or not?" He was staring at the trousers in my hands. "Not before you've killed me." I said, determined to let him end my life before things got carried away, which they already had with two people dead in the same week. "Now how's that suppose to work? If you're dead you can't do anything." Schrödinger clarified, clearly holding back a giggle with a teasing smirk. I had something I was holding in as well, but I was the first of us who lost control as I let my earlier distress get replaced with a chuckle of my own. "Then perhaps you can put them on for me, if it's so important to you." I muttered, wiping away my tears of mixed feelings with one hand, holding the pants nonchalantly in the other. "It is." Schrödinger stated with a step towards me. "Please…" He whispered to me when he was close enough so I could hear him properly. "Dress yourself." He nudged my chin with his nose, about to nestle down in my neck. His still exposed hands moved down to where I was grabbing the fabric and held my wrists in a gentle grip. "To even believe that I managed a laugh in all of this." I said to myself. This set Schrödinger off for some odd reason. "Eve. Put the trousers on, Now." He demanded. At first I thought it in my head, but then I was brave enough to say it. "Will you kill me if I refuse?"

That silence accorded again and Schrödinger was stone cold, keeping my hands still that held the rejected piece of fabric. He pulled away only to look into my eyes. "Eve I'm getting impatient." He said slowly, like he was talking sense into a child. "With no God, there's only you and me now, and we're already in hell so I'll ask you one last time before I give you a sample of what its really like in here;" He lot go of my wrists and took a step back to make it easier for me to move. "Put on the trousers Eve." He said, and I began putting them on, convinced by him and disappointed in me. With him watching me, it wasn't the easiest and funniest to do. He watched me the entire time; when I put one leg in and then another. When I pulled them up to my waistline and when I sipped the sipper and sealed the button.

I smiled at him half-heartedly when I had put them on and I couldn't help feeling ashamed of my earlier childish refusal. It wasn't a hard thing to do and to be completely dressed once again without any trace of blood was a relief, even though I was in need of a belt. Schrödinger stared at me without smiling, even though he looked satisfied. "Good." He said, still sounding a bit annoyed over my past behavior. "Now, take them off."

* * *

_Do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil._


	12. Bambi Gets Twitterpated

For the first time in my own opinion, the Swastika didn't really matter anymore. Right now, it was just a symbol on a piece of fabric that was not attached to my Millennium uniform which was two sizes too big. I still felt like a Nazi and nothing removed or attached to the uniform would get rid of that feeling. I could feel it in the fabric; in every fold and stitch and in the pockets, in every sipper and button and in every little detail that I could find. The indignity was woven together in every layer of the textile and intertwines with all the pieces, all the way out towards the end of the black tie, which knot was even done perfectly by a Millennium member; I'm talking about the messenger himself. Schrödinger, which was there too. It all reminded me a bit of the casting to American Idol.

All of Hellsing's trainees were seated on a raw of chairs and all the desks were moved out from the room we had held all our Evening Classes. Something told me that those closers no longer would be available for us. Ann. Kevin. Berry. Naomi. Everyone was here except Penelope, who was dead, who got killed, who got shot by Schrödinger, which was because of me. The four people stared at me when I entered the room but I refused eye contact with all of them and sat down on the chair closest to the exit, just like a guard pointed me to do, without causing any trouble, without hurting anyone. Ann was the person who was furthest away from me, seated beside Kevin who sat next to Berry. On the chair next to mine, Naomi sat and I could smell her citrus scented perfume. I could smell her citrus scented perfume even in this dump. I began wondering if she managed to bring it with her when we got kidnapped because the scent was really intense; like she had just put it on or like I just had walked into the bathroom on her with steam all over the place from lemon shower gel, like a citrus scented sauna. She caught me staring at her and smiled at me, and that made me very happy because I thought that she knew that I had the oddest relationship with a Nazi messenger boy with cat ears and made him blow Penelope's head off and that she was angry with me for that. She looked at the Millennium uniform but she didn't say a word about it. Her very familiar face made me remember my moments with her and all I wanted was to go back to those innocent, restless days when we had sleepovers and stayed up late and when we tried spooning on a sofa and I could smell her citrus perfume and mock her after we'd slept in and tricked her into that she was snoring, although she didn't.

Berry is a lucky guy to have a girl like Penelope, who is smart and healthy and smells good. I then began thinking if they got to share a room, since they were in a relationship and all. I remember that Penelope had told me once that she and Ann almost got approved to share a cell for two, but there was only a few of those cells and all was occupied. I'm pretty sure than Naomi and Berry is sharing one of those rooms. Another breeze of citrus perfume attacked me when Naomi crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair, and then I wondered if she and Berry have been having sex in her. Not in here, the classroom, but in their probably shared room. But I shouldn't think about this right now because a line-up of guards is standing in front of us, and before them, even closer to us, stood the Captain. Schrödinger. Zorin, and Rip Van Winkle like a jury – The Millennium idol jury without any chairs or a judgments table and or Coca Cola cups.

It was like they were about to do a performance for us themselves as the lead singers, but all they did was staring at us like teachers gathering to whip discipline into a misbehaving school class, not including the Captain who looked like he always did. Rip Van Winkle looked distressed, well more distressed than usual, resembling the role of the older emotionally unstable teacher of Mathematics and Zorin was the strictest of them all. Let's not forget that Schrödinger was the only one who was smiling. Even the line-up behind them didn't manage to show any emotions whatsoever. Now that the five Hellsing trainees were in place, Zorin stepped forward, cracking her knuckles. "I can see that you're one man short." She said. She had a cigarette in her mouth, and it almost dropped to the floor when she spoke, other than that, not a single muscle in her face flexed. "A lady, actually…" An unknown man corrected in a dumb voice in the back of the crown, making Zorin annoyed.

She took the cigarette from her lips and tossed it angrily back at the man so it hit him straight in the forehead, but he didn't move an inch and the face was stern and blameworthy. He was smart enough to keep his apologize for himself and stay silent. Zorin continued. "A woman, a man swine, an inmate… What the hell." She muttered, and then she looked at me. I looked right back at her, visualizing my attention and genuine interest in her upcoming words. It wasn't until she took a slow first step towards my direction that I wasn't as optimistic as I was before. "My condolences." She said solemnly, talking to us all, yet looking at me alone. "One of your people is slaughtered because of our, the Millennium's lack of observation. You are all inmates in our responsibility after all, and we-" She turned to Schrödinger with a scold on her face. "Turned against our own ideal."

Schrödinger was still smiling like usual, but when Zorin's words reached his ears, they tilted backwards and he looked down at the floor. A spontaneous, very odd thought hit me then. I got a sudden fantasy about leaping out towards him and kiss him on the lips right then and there in front of everybody. He looked adorable. "Excuse me, Miss Blitz." A sudden, yet familiar voice said, distracting me from Schrödinger. When I realized that it was Kevin's voice a ton of secondhand-embarrassed ate at me because of the fact that he'd called Zorin ´Miss Blitz.´ But Zorin herself didn't seem to mind at all, of course. Miss Blitz turned to Receptionist Kevin immediately after hearing his voice.

"What is it, boy?" She asked harshly, but the curiosity could be noted in her uncanny eyes. "Um…" Kevin began, and the secondhand-embarrassment became so overwhelming that I looked at Rip Van Winkle for help. The freckled faced woman was still looking extremely nervous, her distressfulness mirroring how I felt on the inside. She didn't seem to be okay. I was worried about her. Just watching her standing there like a nervous wreck in-between the grinning Cheshire and the stone-faced Captain was unbearable. At the same time, I had no clue what was troubling her so. Of course, this whole gathering was a bit awkward and the air in the Evening Class had gotten so heavy it was hard to breathe, but why was Winkle the vulnerable one in this? She hasn't done anything wrong, has she? Then, when she looked at me pleadingly, the horrific thought entered my mind. Maybe she was aware of what would happen to us? I wouldn't be surprised if this was some sort of punishment made up by Zorin's wicked mind. "What happened to the perpetrator?" Kevin finally managed to ask without messing up, and his question made me and all my former colleagues look at her. Me, because I was slightly surprised that they didn't already know who was responsible, and the others because they wanted to know. It made me realize that perhaps I was the only one of us who knew Schrödinger took Penelope's life. Me and Millennium, of course.

I looked at Schrödinger in vain hope; the sudden wanting of having him labeled innocent existed within me. Schrödinger's eyes were in a bright pink shade when our eyes locked, and just after he winked at me, Zorin answered bluntly "He joined her fate shortly after the incident." The whole room went silent and I wanted to laugh, because I could see the perpetrator standing there and smirking in the flesh. Zorin lied to everyone, and even though she didn't tell the truth, she somehow had fooled me too. She was a very frightening and convincing woman. Like she had read my mind, she looked at me and I could almost see a smile taking form onto her masculine features. But when she opened her mouth and the same emotionless voice left her, I changed my mind, almost feeling blue at her lack of kindness. "The body of your friend is removed and no longer a reminder of the crime. Let her rest in peace." She said in such a casual way, like informing bad news in the form of rainy weather or raw fish soup for lunch. After having those words said, she broke eye-contact with me and turned to the group, the newborn shimmer in her eyes telling me that she had something evil in her mind.

"Now, Hellsing's incompetent imbeciles… What to do now, after the obviousness is out of the way?" She asked, but it was a question that none of us could or should answer. "Don't look so shocked little ones… I've heard things about disputes with the dead girl." She informed, and to my utter surprise, she did not look at me. "I cannot tolerate internal disputes among our inmates. We only have two sides to choose between. There's you-" She mentioned to our silly gathering of five. "And us." She said, extending her arms in front of the three other jury members and the line-up of at least ten men. I felt a bit stupid, because I was sort of standing right on the line between the two groups of people. I was sitting with my own, my Hellsing squad, wearing a flipping Millennium uniform. This is the closest I've ever gotten to being a rebel in my life, or an outcast. Zorin was straight as a pine. I began wondering if she was showing me mercy because of the uniform I wore, because she did no longer stare daggers into my eyes like she was doing just a few moments ago, but at everyone else other than me. "Is there a problem?" She asked. "Anything someone would like to share. Any torments? Whatever is bothering you all? Be frank with me. Why can't you get along? Don't give me any shit. Give me the fucking truth. If you want to jump on someone right now, this is your chance!" She urged us all, taking a few steps back to make room for whoever dared to speak up. I couldn't see any of the other people's faces, except Naomi who instantly looked away; avoiding Zorin's piercing eyes like they were pest. "Fine then." Zorin stated, almost in a satisfaction. Her hands were put on her broad hips in a wide state, her feet positioned far apart. She reminded me of Wonder Woman.

If Zorin could read minds, I would instantly eat up that thought, because after examining us all, she said "If I can't get any of you to speak up, then none of you will have any choice – You first!" And she pointed at me, her eyes fetched on my uniform collar, and the missing Swastika piece that would have been on my arm. Of course she had to point at me. I stood up, making sure my pants wouldn't fall down to my knees, and awkwardly stepped forward. My gaze gambled between the two groups of people. I didn't know which one who was more appealing to look at, so my gaze fell to the floor. Zorin was towering over me like a judge in a boxing ring and I was nervous and I didn't know what to say or what to do. "Sorry I – I don't really have anything to say I-" I hated the stupid little shake in my voice.

"Oh, It's okay _!" My eyes darted up at the mention of my name. This voice did not belong to Zorin, or anyone else in the Millenium Organization whatsoever. Ann was the responsible owner of the voice. "I can go first!" Ann had made a move of her own, to everyone's surprise. She stood up from her chair, pushing it more than one meter behind her in the process. Zorin took another step back, joining the crowd of the soldiers and guards, looking at Ann in I mixture of confusion and curiosity with the rest of us.

Even Kevin and Berry looked blown away. My first instinct was to look at Schrödinger or Rip Van Winkle, perhaps ask for an explanation, but I was still embarrassed and a bit shaken for the involuntary attention Zorin had put on me, so that had to wait until later. "I got a problem alright…" Ann said, looking fearlessly at Zorin while she spoke. She was always good at making presentations back in school, even though she hated it and rarely did her homework. I remember Ann and Penelope and I actually even had a group project once, but that was a long time ago and it didn't matter now. "My best friend got shot in the head like a fucking cow. I got her blood in my spinach for God's sake!" She proclaimed, actually having deserved the right to abuse God's name, just this once. But she sounded way more angry than sad. Anger was Ann's solution to almost all of her problems.

I examined her appearance. Her tights were full of holes and she had black converse on her tiny feet. Her feet were perhaps the only thing petite with her. I observed her enormous calf muscles; she was good at wrestling, too. There once was a rumor in school that she had broken the neck of a girl two years older than her with a grab of her legs, but I don't know if that is true or not. Being the big, strong girl she was; it was no surprise that she wanted into the army of Hellsing. Too bad she couldn't finish her military-training before we ended up in this place. "I know Pen wasn't killed for her outburst at little stammering Bambi over there!" She pointed at me, almost making me gasp in an insulted manner, like they do in the comedy movies. But this was a tragedy. She called me a stammering Bambi.

"I cannot tolerate municipal punishment when it is her fault and hers only! She said something to Penelope that got her killed!" She shouted, and then she stared at me. "Didn't you, _! Speak up and stop being so fucking selfish!"

I don't like when people yell at me. I can't manage a single word. I can't say anything. I can't answer and I can't move and I can't even think or hear my own thoughts. Countless eyes were watching us, not helping my poor unfortunate soul a particle. If she continued screaming at me, I would go crazy and break down and cry, but like she was aware of that, she refused to stop. "You so did! You told her she was fucking around with guards!"

I began thinking about her blown up argument, and when I realized that I hadn't said anything like that and wanted to correct her as kindly as possible, she said something that destroyed all the kindness I still managed to carry, after all that I'd been true in this living hell. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the words that almost made cross the line and add the missing piece to my uniform, and I'm not talking about the belt.

"It's easy for you to talk! Take great a look at yourself and your little pet over there… You can't even keep your hands off the freaking worthless messenger boy! He's wearing a Hitler Youth uniform, for God's sake!"

That was my crossing line. That was Ann abusing the name of God one time too much, and most unforgettable, the name of Schrödinger. I could move again. Her words made me snap out of my victim state. My thought was still blurred, but I just kept on walking towards her, and she was ready for me. I was turned into another person. I was waiting patiently for her, listening to her headache-giving voice calmly until she would say something unnecessary enough that would give me the adrenaline I needed in the upcoming courage, or madness, that began taking form inside my mere human being.

"What's going on with you, _? You're a bloody pedophile now, or what? Or are you into some animalistic fetish thing with cats?! SPEAK UP! While mentioning cats, did he lick your-"

Beyond unnecessary.

"He's not worthless." I said loud enough to interrupt her, having gotten very close to her face. It's slightly strange that out of all things she was throwing at me, the only thing that stuck was that she had called him a worthless messenger boy. Ann was twice my size, despite being short, and could probably snap my spine in two in a few seconds. Out of everything that had been said by Ann, my comeback was the thing that caused the most of surprise among the people. Ann was the most surprised of them all. She has a great reason to be. This was the very first time have ever dared to speak back at her. It's a bit lame, but I felt like I had won, even for just a little moment. Then, all of her word got repeated in my mind, and I've never felt so insulted in my entire life. Everything looped around in my head like a spinning wheel, and I couldn't decide what was making me angrier, until I began thinking about Schrödinger again. What more can I say? I wanted her sorry.

"All that you are next to him is a short and fat wannabe devil worshipper..." I said, quoting Rip Van Winkle in her honor. Ann stared at me in dangerous silence, eyes framed and highlighted with the darkest color she could've found, but her stare did not make me falter the slightest. "Next to him, you are worth nothing. You're not even worthy of petting him." I said, remembering how nicely she'd pointed out that he was my little pet over there. And he was still over there, watching and listening with so much curiosity that he almost stumbled over. Until now I had exceeded myself by remaining calm. But the more, I talked, the more I understood that Ann was just a simple human being; a fragile creature that had walked through my mind with her dirty feet, and I had let her. I lost control of myself. I raised my voice. **"All that you are and all that you'll ever be is a WORTHLESS-"**

I screamed, and it felt good. It felt euphoric until Ann hit me and I fell to the floor headfirst like a crushing airplane. Then I remembered that I was a mere human being too, an even more fragile creature in fact, a stammering Bambi. I remembered who I am. I can't fight anyone and I'm very sensitive and I cry at everything and I just got beaten to the ground and I could taste my own blood in my mouth and my teeth hurt and it felt like they would pop out if I felt them with my tongue and the side of my face hurt and my nose was bleeding and my eyes was already filled with tears. Ann had hit me straight in the face, and her hit was so hard that it had made me twirl in a 360 and fall flat on the floor with my hands in front of me like I was giving up my life to all available God's in the entire universe. Everything was silent but I could hear a ringing in my ears. I didn't want to get up again but it would be stupid just laying there like a beaten young deer, so I slowly sat up. Luckily enough, my back was facing Ann so I did not have to see her face yet.

I decided to look to my side instead, I wasn't sure which one was which until I locked stares with Rip Van Winkle. At that very moment, I could no longer keep the tears stuck in my eyes so I let it flow, and then two strings of tears left both my eyes at the same time, racing down my cheeks to my bloodied mouth. I realized that it had gotten way too much blood in my mouth, and refusing to swallow, I just gave myself permission spit it out on the floor in the most disgraceful of show. It was the most horrific thing I had yet experienced.

No degree of shame is enough for explaining how shameful it was letting Winkle see her "petite fräulein" in this state. Schrödinger was a different thing, he'd seen me in so many scenes with no dignity, but Rip Van Winkle was different, even though I barely knew the woman, I hade developed an untold respect for her. She was one, and only Fräulein.

Rip Van Winkle looked away from me, which was a splendid decision. Then she began chewing on her nails almost noisily. She couldn't decide which expression to wear. Her angry face turned into a sad face. She was laughing. She began stamping her long legs and looked distressed again. She was headed towards the exit but stopped sharply halfway. She glanced down at my pitiful person and I saw the strange consideration in her eyes. She stepped closer, and I was certain that she would give me a helping hand, so certain that I even lifted my right hand for her to take, but then she removed her musket and put it down on the floor in front of me and her black shoes. In the blink of an eye, she was all over Ann.

She had pinned her body to the ground and she was hitting her face with her scrawny fists, again and again and again and again. I flinched every time she hit her, and still having pain in my own face, I could feel Ann hitting me over and over again. Naomi and Berry was now standing up together with Kevin, but I couldn't tell for how long.

Ann began bleeding. The bright red blood looked almost fake on her pale skin and on Rip Van Winkle's where it sprayed in tiny spots, almost adding a new layer of freckles on her cheeks. I noticed that the blood that got in Winkle's face didn't have the same pattern that ended up on the wall. The white wall had gotten sharper and thicker stains that looked like tossed paint, not to mention the floor that was just a small pool of red underneath the two bodies. In the most disturbing and Dadaistic and morbid way possible, Rip Van Winkle was idealistically making her own art with only her thin white gloves as a tool.

It would be an understatement to say that Ann could no longer defend herself. She didn't even have it coming, and I'm sure she wasn't even aware of it happening, or who the person straddling her body was. Unlike me, Ann couldn't recoil or even empty her mouth of blood. She was too fragile. Rip Van Winkle didn't stop when she had passed. She still kept hitting her uncontrollably, the crimson circle getting bigger and bigger on the floor. Everyone in the room, human or immortal, everyone was too shocked to do anything about the situation. Even Miss Blitz looked like she had seen the last of her days.

Again and again she slammed her fists into the platter that once was her face. I don't know how but I had somehow managed to stand up on my feet, carrying the pipe of the heavy musket that dangled in one of my hands. I walked towards them, her name rolling of my tongue like I was talking with food in my mouth "Rip Van Winkle." I said and I was just about to reach out for her and entangle her from Ann, but my arm got grabbed, and instead I was the person who got moved out of the classroom.

* * *

The door closed and left us out in the hall and I could still hear the sound of fist against ruined tissue and bones, and the splatter of blood. I wondered if I would ever be myself after this. We kept walking in a calm pace, a pace you walk with the wounded. Then I got gently pinned to a wall that wasn't connected to the Evening Class or its corridor whatsoever. The words that follower sounded wise and foreign in my ears, especially coming from him.

"When a deer hear dogs barking, it flees." Schrödinger's sweet little voice said to me. I tried to not mind his grin and not get mad at him for smiling in a situation like this. I considered as a permanent expression. It wasn't an emotion of his. This is just what he looks like, and he was a sight worthy to see every day. I felt his clothed fingers tremble against my face as he held it in a limp hold in both of his hands. It made both of my finger twitch and Winkle's weapon reminded me that it was there by the touch, not that it was much necessary because it was a great thing to carry around with you. Rip Van Winkle great.

"The deer's loved ones then?" I mumbled, not getting rid of the iron taste in my mouth. I didn't even bother to think about how I was able to manage a word after this experience, I was just glad I could communicate with him. Schrödinger bumped his forehead against mine, and even though he did it as softly as he possibly could, it hurt. "It fucking flees Eve." Schrödinger said and left me with that strange feeling after hearing a little child or your parent curse, or a very innocent or old person say a bad word.

"Until the wolves haunt down the dog." He said and after that I heard something in the distance from where we came from and peeked behind Schrödinger's shoulder to see what was going on, but he quickly brought back my focus on him. "Listen, Eve. _." He said and leaned down close to my face. I can't remember the last time Schrödinger called me by my real name. "Never do something like that for someone like me ever again. Humans are only given one life, take care of yours." He whispered in such tenderness, I never knew he possessed. "Schrödinger?" I asked shyly. "Yes Eve." He answered and pulled away slightly, willing to hear my out no matter what. He was still holding me face. I made my promise to myself right then and there that I wouldn't show my emotions, even though I felt like kissing him, and it was not a week fantasy, but a genuine desire this time. Even though I was angry and sad, and in love and wanted to break down in tears. But I put up a fight. I was fighting more now than I've ever done in my life. Fighting to keep the tears from falling. Fighting to conceal my emotions, don't talk about them and most of all be careful. The secret will survive this time. I said the first thing that didn't really have anything to do with anything.

"Can you get me a belt?" I said and when he looked at me like I was joking and started laughing at me, I said "I almost dropped my pants when I got up from the floor. It was embarrassing. You better get me something to keep them from falling, or I'll walk around without them." I explained, feeling my teeth hurt with every word. Schrödinger smiled at me, a warm smile that made it harder for me to stay true to my promise. "Then what will keep you from falling?" He asked in a voice that couldn't upset anyone. He removed a hair from my sight swiftly. "I want you to go to the infirmary first." He said. "Tell Doc to fix your face." He said more jokingly, to break the ice a bit and I couldn't help but smile. "Okay." I said and sniffed, thankfully not shredding a single tear when he stepped back from the wall to let me out into the middle of the hall. His eyes dropped to Rip Van Winkle's musket. "Do you want me to…?" He offered, but I shook my head quickly. "No, I can do it." I said, wanting to keep it as an excuse for meeting her again. Schrödinger didn't say anything about it and watched me in a mixture of pity and amusement when I pulled up my pants, which was a difficult thing to do because the weapon was large and heavy and didn't do me any good at this moment. Right then, a few droplets of blood left my chin and fell to the floor silently.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked, looking town at the red pattern before our shoes. "No." I replied almost instantly, without sounding mean. On my own, Schrödinger couldn't see if I was crying or not. "It's at the end of this corridor, and then turn left and left again." He informed like the true messenger boy he was and lifted his arm to point out where the infirmary was. I only nodded and cleared my throat, wanting to leave him as soon as possible before I would burst. I turned around from him, the musket dangling in my hand that was dragging it. But after taking a few steps, I stopped. I couldn't just him this heartlessly. I refused to look him in the eyes, because I'm pretty certain that if I did, my promise would break. I took a poor breath, hearing it shake. "Schrödinger." I said, believing it was worth the risk. He didn't answer, but I knew he was there. He's always there. He's anywhere. He's everywhere and nowhere. He's-

"You're invaluable." I said, and with that praise, my promise was as broken as my spine would've been if not Winkle had saved me. Because I felt something that wasn't blood stream down my cheeks. My only wish was to get the boy to realize that he was not worthless. Thanks to my unreliable curiosity, I could not resist to know about his reaction and I was about to commit one out of the biggest mistakes of my life.

Curse my whole fragile human creature and hand me over to the Devil for turning around! Why did I turn around?

For God's sake!

Why did have to turn around to see, in his undying eyes, the heartrending feeling that was a reflection of my own?

For some unknown reason; the words that I'd spoken went through the heart of the messenger and moved him to timid tears. I could no longer bear to see his face in that state, and neither in my own, so I turned around with an unshakeable determination and was taking the colorless corridor as my path with a bold assumption given that I was leaving this assassin alone with deep wounds in his heart.


	13. Hankie-enchanted Nosebleed

"Where are we going?" I asked, but Schrödinger didn't answer my question.

It could only be one of two reasons; he was sent by someone and didn't know himself, or he didn't want to talk to me. I had asked the same question three times, so it would be nonsensical to assume that he didn't hear me, especially with those ears of his.

We walked through halls I hadn't seen before on my stay and I was starting to get really nervous about what would happen. It was much darker in this part of the airship and the white clinical, almost hospital walls had been replaced with large plates of metal. The floor was dirty and the air smelt burnt, like the after-scent of fireworks.

We entered a huge door and stepped into a smaller space where two guards were standing in front of another gate of some sort. "Inspected?" A bold man asked. He took a step forward and examined me head to toe. I noticed that he didn't even sacrifice a glance at Schrödinger, so apparently, my chest and hips were more interesting than a mere Nazi boy with cat ears.

The man's gawking eyes made me really uncomfortable. He put his weapon aside, preparing himself for something that had to do with me because he couldn't keep his stare away. He seemed to even expect an answer from me and just when I was about to open my mouth to ask what was happening, Schrödinger was one step ahead.

"Leave that to me." He quickly said and pulled me away from the man before I even could even blink. I was pushed to the sheet metal wall roughly by a familiar and underestimated strength. The front of my body was pressed against the cold surface and a firm hand was pressed firmly in the middle of my shoulder blades. My wrists were in chains I couldn't do much resistance. Only an unhappy groan escaped me, because it actually hurt me physically.

I was completely taken off guard by his sudden recklessness. "What are you up to?" I whispered with difficulty, more to the metal than to Schrödinger since my face was mashed to the wall. "Sorry." Was the only thing I heard him say, and I wasn't even sure if it was a very silent whisper, or an apology that he had planted inside my head. Whatever it was, it was the first thing he'd said to me since he woke me up in the middle of the night.

He kicked the insides of my ankles outwards to separate my legs and put his knee in-between them as he began touching the back of my thighs and down my calves, searching and feeling after something that I might be hiding underneath my clothes.

He even went all the way down to inspect my ankles and the inside of the hem of my socks. When he came back up again his hand roamed each side of my hips and groped my rear before separating my legs further with his knee and even inspected my crotch briefly, which made me squirm and whimper in discomfort.

Then his hands began caressing and patting my back, as in apologizing to me again; gentler hands going around my sides and to my belly. He was more careful when he inspected my front, since the two men couldn't see what he was doing in-between my front and the wall.

After inspecting my chest and my armpits, the worst had come to its end and it did not take long before he was finished with my arms. His both hands secured the handcuffs before them grasped my own hands in a less barbaric nature.

Schrödinger had pulled me away from the wall ever so slightly, so he could look over my shoulder if everything was in its order. I could feel his breath hit the side of my chin and neck and for a moment I thought he would plant a kiss somewhere on my skin.

"Clean." He confirmed, perhaps in a tone little to soft to belong to an inspecting guard, but he lived up to the labor once again as he tore me away from the wall and pushed me towards the gate. I got to enter the next room on my own.

Schrödinger did not follow me. He's just disappeared into the open air and I turned around to look for him, but the bold man simply urged me in without even questioning the messenger boy's sudden disappearance, perhaps because he knew about him, perhaps because he was working the night shift and had gotten used to being delusional.

I walked the path of a long dark corridor, thoughts and speculations of what just happened were flying around in my head like mosquitoes. Maybe, just maybe, Schrödinger had chosen to escort me to this strange department, only so he could inspect me in such a disgraceful way. Not because he wanted to do it, but because he didn't want anyone else to do it.

I began hearing voices speaking in both German and English as I under duress stepped inside an entrance hall of some kind. I got ordered to stand on a low platform in the middle of the room, from where I later on could see Rip Van Winkle and Zorin Blitz stand beside each other on the floor further away. Even though I was a few inches from the ground, the two women still towered over me in the almost inhuman height.

"You okay, girl?" One of them asked and to my surprise, Zorin had asked that question of concern. I nodded timidly and would just blabber out a wimpy reply when she spoke again. "Never mind - Your nose is bleeding again!" She accused in a way that sounded like it was something I was in control of and doing on purpose, but I wasn't even aware of that myself until she told me.

"Give her a cloth or something…" She muttered with disgust and unwilling effort. In response to this whole situation going on, my fingers instinctually reached up to touch my face and when I looked at my fingers, I could see that she was in fact correct. My nose is bleeding again. I tried to not freak out. Blood is supposed to stay _inside_ the body after all.

After being taken cared off by a kind nurse with dreamy eyes and a ribbon tied in her hair, I thought that I didn't have more blood to sacrifice. Ann's hit was right on the spot and clear as a bell-ringing. I was a bit confused at how I could be bleeding again, but then I remembered the impact from Schrödinger's inspection and how my face got a big smooch from the metal wall. The nurse told me that nothing was broken, but that my nose bone had gotten badly beaten and I needed to be careful, but that it wasn't more serious than that.

But after this experience, I began getting paranoid. The more I thought about it, the more it hurt and the stronger the pain become. What if Schrödinger had broken my nose?

I began feeling anxious and I looked at the two women helplessly. Zorin got a fancy little napkin from an unhesitant Rip Van Winkle, which the manlier female received with almost caution, grasping it with two of her black-dressed fingers. She looked at it like it was intoxicated with a virus. The whole interaction between the two of them was a bit humorous in all honesty. Something told me Zorin wasn't fond of feminine things.

Zorin stepped in front of me, leaning down after changing her limp hold of the tissue to such a tight grip that she was about to take one of my teeth out from my gums. "That's enough! Remove your pitiable hand!" She yelled at me, and I almost fainted. Whatever she was going to do next was probably going to hurt.

She was so close to me and I could see every little detail on her tattooed face, and Winkle's napkin looked too fancy to be used for this matter, so fancy you would have to see it to believe it. It was a delicate silken handkerchief in an elegant pastel purple color, surrounded with lace that seemed to be handmade by nibble fingers.

I did whatever I had to do to survive, for myself and for Rip Van Winkle's hankie. I refused. "No no no it's fine! I can take care of this myself, its okay you don't have to-" Zorin wouldn't hear me out. She placed the hand with the soft handkerchief on my nose gently but firmly; her hand was so big that it almost covered all of my face. It was her way of shutting me up, and it worked because I could barely feel anything at all anymore.

All the pain was going away. Her inhuman narrow green eyes were staring into my own like she was reading my mind and she began muttering something foreign which I didn't understand even if I tried to and she used the same inimitable language that's exists within a magic spell. When she removed her hand, the blood was gone from my nose drills and the napkin looked just as spotless as it did earlier.

When I tiptoed and looked behind Zorin's muscular shoulder, I saw Rip Van Winkle standing and watching us with the most adorable grin baked into her proud expression, overjoyed to be able to help. It was hard to understand that she was the same woman who smashed a wrestler girl's face into her brain. She can destroy faces. She can fix faces. She's remarkable.

I looked back at Zorin and discovered that one of her eyes had a darker shade, but it's rude to stare so I mumbled an awkward and quick "Thank you." before looking down at my feet; which she only snorted at and the handkerchief got tossed like a scrambled piece of paper behind her, much to Winkle's distress. She yelped and leaped towards the napkin and caught it before it touched the floor, and folded it neatly before putting it in her invisible chest pocket.

Zorin turned around and kept an arm-length distance from me, which I did not complain much about. "Another is dead." Zorin said like she was talking about the weather.

_Oh! Look. It's raining again. _

"You people from Hellsing are as fragile as rotten leaves. There will be no war. This will be a silly little farce." She said, almost sounding disappointed, but a ghost of a smirk was seen on her face. "But if you ask me, this time, it was a splendid choice. I remember the first time I saw your little group of imbeciles. Emo-girl would be the first I'd pick from the tree and let root on the ground." She sighed at the memory, like a mother remembering her child's milestones.

"Rip Van Winkle has been naughty."She said, keeping her eyes on me and not looking at the mentioned woman but she was talking louder so she would be able to hear."And the reason for that is protecting your poor little ass. You should consider yourself lucky for still standing, girl."

It was difficult to know if she was talking in a genuine caring way or in sheer sarcasm. But however it was, Zorin was right. If it wasn't for Rip Van Winkle, only God's knows what would be of me. Ann's death was horrible, but I was happy that I was still alive. I deserve to live.

"I _am_ grateful." I said, expecting Zorin to be annoyed by my voice, but she looked more pleased when I had admitted that and nodded back with a strict attempt to a smile, perhaps because she was a person easier to talk to alone. I felt the tiredness grab hold of me and took this opportunity in hand when Zorin was less… terrifying.

"Why am I here?" I asked, finally feeling like we could communicate on the same level. But this time, my words weren't heard at all. "And when it comes to yourself; confronting a gruff girl like that for a mere messenger boy is brave." She complimented instead of answering my question, and all of the sudden I wasn't sleepy any longer.

I didn't know what to say to defend myself. In order to defend Schrödinger, I had shouted at Ann in front of everybody, perhaps even being the person who had gotten her dead, and now leaving me unable to defend myself in this matter. I could not deny it. There are no more reasons for my outburst, other than backing up Schrödinger, and perhaps making my dignity justice.

"You're right." I had to admit. "I protected him."

Zorin chuckled at my little declaration. _"Protecting." _She spat in whispering mockery against my words. "Such creature needs no protection." She explained casually, without looking at me.

"Fräulein…" Rip Van Winkle interrupted carefully, capturing both of ours attention. "I cannot agree with you." She said more liberally and a bit childishly, making Zorin turn to her with a scold on her face.

I smiled at finally hearing her light voice.

Van Winkle continued. "I can assure you that I didn't jump on that girl only for our inmate's sake. _Ann_ did not just disrespect her, but also Schrödinger." She explained, whilst pronouncing Ann's name like she wasn't a person, but an object of no value.

"Your interaction got another of our inmates killed and you are surely aware of Schrödinger's abilities." Zorin said slowly and sternly, and I began feeling a bit awkward in the middle of their conversation.

"She made her nose bleed." Rip Van Winkle said with the stubbornness of a child and pointed at me like Zorin hadn't seen me before in her life. Zorin rolled her eyes at her meek reason for murdering a teenage girl.

Rip Van Winkle stepped towards me. "I apologize but I can't help it. I have grown fond of this petite Fräulein and I refuse to let anyone treat her like that." She explained, swollen with pride in a firm posture and was just about to embrace me but Zorin blocked her path before she even could nudge a hair of mine.

All of the sudden, I could feel something hard hit the side of my face and it took me a while to realize that it was the back of Zorin's hand. Her hit wasn't as purposive like Anne's and I didn't fall to the floor, but it was still valid and it still hurt.

It felt like a pain that some unfortunate children might have felt in their childhood whilst being raised by a very strict mother. The purpose was not to harm but to prove a point. I was surprised at how nonchalantly she had slapped me, yet my whole face was aching from the spontaneous clip with her knuckles.

Rip Van Winkle screamed and covered her mouth in shock; this appeared to be a much more serious matter than her falling handkerchief. She appeared next to me and began checking after injuries. Zorin looked seriously at her.

"Are you going to kill me too now?" She asked with an amused smirk on her face. Van Winkle didn't do anymore than muttering something in German. Then she longingly snaked her long arms around my being as in symbolizing that her emotions for me hadn't changed.

Zorin looked at me with no trace of regret on her face. "Inmate. She needs to learn a lesson from this." She said stone coldly. It wasn't an apology, but I somehow believed that it was. I held my cheek, not knowing if it was okay or not. It still stung. I was more surprised than offended. I was more violated and scared than sad or angry.

"I would like you to do something for me as a punishment for your bad behavior at the gathering in Evening Class. You were involved after all." Zorin told me, making Van Winkle let go of me in wary suspicion, but I had a feeling that she already knew what Zorin would say.

"Okay…" I said slowly and began preparing me for anything. "That boy." She stated, and at first, I thought she meant Schrödinger but then she said "That boy in your trainee group." And I instantly asked "Kevin?" And then a smirk plastered itself upon her features.

"Kevin…" She said, testing his name on her lips for the first time and that made me cringe. It was pretty obvious from the very beginning that Zorin had had her eyes on him but it still didn't make me less surprised when she asked, "Is he a virgin?"

Miss Blitz was wondering if Receptionist Kevin has had sex with anyone. "I don't know." I answered stiffly in all honesty, because I had no clue. Her intimate question didn't make any sense to me and the second-hand embarrassment returned to me like a slap in the face (I apologize for my choice of words and the irony).

I knew Kevin pretty well, and I'm aware of one of his former relationships, but it didn't last long because his girlfriend had been 'too clingy'. Kevin is tall, fair-haired and blessed with blue eyes and white teeth, and the only reason that he's a friend of mine is that we were working together and had lunch in the staffroom with everyone else. I had never even spent a single minute with him on my free time. I didn't have his phone number even, and I barely spent time with him here. Unwilling thoughts entered my mind then and I shivered at the idea of Kevin having intercourse with Zorin.

Zorin stared at me like she did the first time I was interrupting her in the Evening Class. "I'm sorry. But I really don't know." I said, but that didn't stop me from believing that he actually wasn't a virgin. He could get any girl or boy to fall in love with him without even saying a word to them. Kevin could get any woman he wanted to go to bed with him.

"I need that information." Zorin stated.

"Give it to me and I reject your punishment."

I was waiting for her to say anything more but that was it. It wasn't more complicated than that. I grinned at her. "Then I'll give you that information, Miss Blitz." I said, not believing that I actually had called her that…

* * *

"This is disturbing." Rip Wan Winkle groaned as she walked me back to my room.

"Winkle, why do Zorin want to know if Kevin is a virgin?" I asked her innocently, in the manner of a child asking an adult about something. Rip Van Winkle and I were holding hands whilst walking slowly through the night inside the never-ending corridors within the zeppelin.

Her slender and temporarily gloveless hand was chilly and barely even got sweaty, even though we had been walking hand in hand for a while now. Her skin was cool and smooth, just like her handkerchief and so perfect it was on verge of artificial. When I asked her about her gloves; she simply said they were in a better place together with someone else, and I decided to drop the subject for good.

"Well she hasn't been able to stop talking about that poor boy." She said, looking down at me like she was about to vomit. "Does she love him?" I asked, making her laugh hysterically at the mention of love. She always laughed hysterically at what I said.

"Would say that it is impossible, with the lack of love in her being, but who knows?!" She chimed, eyes going wide before another hysteric laugh left her.

"You think I should really tell her?" I asked mildly serious, ignoring her amused being and rebelling manners. She was looking at me for a long time before she said, "Probably." Then she calmed down and smiled at me warmly. "Unless you prefer being punished in a different way of course…" She wondered out loud, gleaming blue eyes wandering up to the ceiling.

"But how is this _my_ punishment? I'm not going to suffer from this or anything, will I?" I asked, feeling that this whole happening was too good to be true:

Schrödinger saved me from getting sexually harassed by a bold man. Zorin Blitz fixed my nose with some voodoo-magic and I got to hold hands with a marvelous woman, with fabulous long fingernails. Then I'll be free from punishments on the condition that I will ask a question to one of the most harmless people on board and pass the answer forward.

"Listen sweetheart." She let go of my hand and fixed my hair with a few swift movements of her hand, the nails gracing my skin appealingly. She leaned down and whispered closely to my ear, her odd but not disastrous scent invading my personal space.

"When you get away this easily for behaving badly: Never question it. Accept it and do what you want with it, perhaps even enjoy it, but for Devil's sake – Do not ask for punishment." She said, each word taken so seriously that I got speechless and didn't dare to do more than nod. She gave me a mad grin then.

"So where's my toy at?" She asked gleefully.

Thank Lords she reminded me, because I had almost forgotten all about it!

Before heading to the infirmary yesterday, I wiped my eyes dry from the emotional episode with Schrödinger and I made sure to hide her weapon in my room so nobody would see it in my hands.

Funny thing is; the barrel of the musket was so long so it was poking out from underneath my bed… But I tried, and I couldn't find a better place for it.

Let me tell you that I've never had such a safe sleep in my entire life. The wimpy little pistol in my drawer was nothing compared to what Rip Van Winkle had up her sleeve.

* * *

I sat alone in my room after giving Winkle her precious musket. She left me with a smooch on the forehead and was delighted to leave me as a blushing mess.

I had poor half-night sleep while playing with the thought that I should go to the Evening Class or not. I didn't even know if it was a thing anymore, after the death of Ann and Penelope. But this was a chance to speak to Kevin and tell Zorin what she wanted to know so badly about him.

After fixing myself up half-heartedly, I got out of bed and started to walk towards the classroom, even though I wasn't sure for how long I had been sleeping and had lost track of time and I had my doubts that it was actually evening. When I tried to open the door, it was locked, and my heart jumped in me chest when I got caught in the act.

"_? Where are you going?" I heard my name being called from behind me, and I would recognize that sweet voice anywhere. I turned around and saw Naomi standing there, without her boyfriend.

"Hi." I said, pleased that she had the courage to speak with me after the absurd incident. "Are you okay?" I asked her, and she almost laughed. Almost.

"I should ask you that… Are your nose okay?" She asked. I was surprised at how she didn't even mention Penelope or Ann. Came to think about it; she never was fond of any of them.

Pen had her history with Berry, and Ann could just be plain mean sometimes. I only nodded when answering her question. "Have you seen Kevin?" I asked. It was a bit rude to jump on another subject like that when she obviously was worried about me, but I really wanted this out of my hair so my 'punishment' would be long-forgotten. I needed to save the chitchat for later.

"He's playing cards with Berry in the cafeteria." She said. I was about to ask her if she knew if Kevin was a virgin or not, but then she would think that I was interested in him and I didn't want that.

"You're looking for him?" She asked and frowned with a sweet mysteriousness. I only nodded again, and got relived when a genuine smile broke onto her slim face. "I'm going there now. It's after lunchtime so the whole dining room is empty and the soldiers are busy. Shall we go together?" She asked, and I said yes.

* * *

Kevin agreed almost instantly when I asked to speak with him in private. I only had to wait for him to finish his game with Berry and I all of the sudden had him all by myself in the empty washing room that had been used for today. The backstage of the Millennium Cafeteria I suppose. Yeah… I know.

Apparently, it was weekend, and there was less activity going around everywhere on the airship. All soldiers and guards were probably resting in their rooms. Perhaps that's why Zorin and Winkle took their opportunity to set meeting with me on a Friday night, because they hadn't anything serious that needed to be done.

"So…" He said, flashing me a smile. He was leaning against a machine of some sort. I think it was the same machine that had broken down and created such a fuss in the cafeteria a time ago.

Talking to Kevin was much harder to do alone, and I even started to blush at the realization that I was alone with an attractive boy with no one around and thousands of meters up in the sky. I didn't even like him that way, but I still couldn't help feeling flustered.

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked confusedly but kindly. "Um…" I said, looking around the dish room. It smelled funny in here. When he chuckled my eyes darted back at him. "Calm down." He said, placing his hands on my shoulders. He didn't wear handcuffs, I realized. Neither did I.

"You can talk to me." His happy face turned to a one of pity. "Is it about Ann?" He asked. Before I could say no or even shook my head, he continued talking. "She hit you really hard… I know it's not your fault, what happened. I just want you to know that I'm with you in this,_, Naomi and Berry too. We-"

"It's not that!" I chuckled, feeling all too flattered and spoiled by his words that I simply had to interrupt him. But I didn't come here to hear all of this. "It's about you." I said, surprising Kevin. "Me?" He asked and blinked a few times, letting go of my shoulders.

"Y-yes I would like to-" I began, but I instantly didn't know how I should put it. It was an awkward beginning, and I couldn't have started it in a more wrong way. Kevin had obviously been dealing with girls like this before; he was used to girls being nervous around him, but me? This was something completely new to both of us.

Slowly, a soft smirk took form on his face. There was the confident receptionist I learned to know. "Kevin." I said, trying to erase my earlier words and start over. "What is it?" He asked, leaning down so he could hear me better.

He was really tall. About the same height as Jack was, if not taller. How do you ask a person this bold question?

Have you made love with someone? Are you saving yourself for marriage? Do you like having sex? How many relationship have you been in? Who was your first? Have you done the do? Have you stepped over the line to adulthood?

All different ways of asking him melted into each other inside my head. I couldn't ask him this now. We were at the wrong place at the wrong time.

However I would put it, there was a huge risk that he would believe that I was interested in being more than friends with him.

"I just…" I began slowly. It wasn't that hard to ask.

Kevin are you a virgin?

"Do you want to sleep with me?" I blurted out as soon as I realized that the word 'sleep' was an innocent one. But 'me' wasn't supposed to come along in that question… I discovered too late.

Just like that. _Do you want to sleep with me?_

And the innocence disappeared.


	14. A Peck A Day Keeps The Doc Away

"Do you want to sleep with me?" I had managed to blurt out.

And even though I started the whole mission in a composed manner, everything had now ended up in disaster. What in the world did I just say to him?

Kevin stared, and he had to straight himself to maintain his perfect posture. He cleared his throat, grinned and pushed his backcombed hair back. Then he laughed.

"In here?" He asked almost a bit disturbed, but curious, looking around the room, eyes scanning over chopping tables and sinks.

I had to bit hard on my lower lip and press my fingernails into my palms to not lose my cool, but I was both disgusted and felt disgusting after hearing how he was willing to do it with me just like that. I knew about Kevin, and how he had his ways with his girls, but didn't he have any self respect at all?

I didn't say anything. Kevin laughed again a shot a glance towards the cafeteria through the small basement-window in the wall. Naomi and Berry were playing cards, having their minds set up in a new game.

Knowing our privacy as declared, he suddenly grabbed me and was facing me intensely. "Are you serious _?" He whispered, like a dog; it didn't take much to get him excited.

I thought about his question long and hard before answering "Yes."

Not to have sex with him, but I was serious about this task I had gotten from Zorin. I was serious in my question, but not in the act. If he want to sleep with me is one thing, actually sleeping with me is another.

Now I just needed to figure out something to help me out of this mess I made.

"But first, I need to ask another thing." I said, placing my hands on his shoulders to prevent him from getting closer. He was skinny. I could feel the hard collarbones poking up from underneath his shirt. "Will I be your first?" I asked quietly.

A silent laugh left Kevin as he walked us towards the inner part of the room. We turned a corner and my back hit the front of a refrigerator. It was freezing. "You know I always thought you were cute." He breathed, blue eyes devouring my face and matching the cold spreading across my back.

"Don't worry." He said, stroking my cheek. "I've done it plenty times before, but I'll be as gentle as I've ever been with you."

_Kevin is not a virgin, Zorin!_

His fingers felt weird touching me. They felt human. I had gotten spoiled by ghostlike touches from Schrödinger and Rip Van Winkle so Kevin's touch was nothing. I felt nothing.

He kissed me and I was surprised at how quickly it escalated. I squirmed in my place, making him pull away. "Too cold!" I yelped, pressing my body to his awkwardly from the fridge. That was white lie. The refrigerator was cold indeed, but it was the smallest of reasons that I wanted to get away from here.

I put my hands on his chest and backed him into a wall with a small notice-board with recipes. "I can't do it in here!" I said and gave him my sweetest smile, and then I fled through the nearest exit I could find.

I came out to a corridor with white walls, feeling familiar. A few guards stood talking to each other at the end of the corridor to the left. My heart started to beat faster and I thought about running back into the dish room again but I didn't want to reunite with Kevin yet.

I didn't want to reunite with him ever.

I began walking backwards as unnoticeably I could, away from them while keeping them in my sight. I had this strange, uncomfortable feeling that they knew about what just had happened, despite that none of them had spotted me yet.

"Enjoying your punishment, Eve?"

Someone caught me from behind and held me still in their arms, making me gasp. I got turned around in the hold and got faced with a grin and curious ruby eyes.

"I can explain." I whispered quickly, grinning back at him because I was actually glad to see him. It had gotten to the point with Schrödinger that I no longer could care less about how he found out about almost everything.

He was everywhere and nowhere after all, which means he could be in the air or in the walls or even inside the refrigerator. Even within myself, or even in Kevin.

"You don't have to say anything." Schrödinger whispered happily, grin still to his ears. "I just find it a bit amusing that you couldn't get that information another way, but I guess that's how you work." He said, and my happiness dropped in instant.

"Excuse me?" I asked, feeling a frown on my face.

"That's how you work - You're making a huge deal out of everything." Schrödinger explained and I pulled away from him, feeling insulted.

"Not now." I said sternly and shot him a warning-glare. I didn't have time for this. "Excuse me." I said dryly, escaping his hold and rushed past him.

The guards overheard my footsteps and snapped their attention to the scene.

"After her!" One of them shouted, and the group ran in my direction but they didn't make it further. Schrödinger was blocking their path with his hands up in nonchalant, playful calmness.

"Hold it, boys." He said, preventing them from getting any further. "She was just a bit… lost." He said, assuring them that I wasn't causing any trouble.

And he was completely right; I was as lost as Alice in Wonderland.

* * *

I agree that this wasn't the greatest method to get out information from Kevin and it did none of us justice, but it worked and I didn't have to ask him the obvious question so he won't be suspicious of anything else other than my sudden 'interest' in him.

I decided to wait until the Evening Class was active again so I could leak the wanted information to Zorin naturally, because I was too much of a coward and didn't dare to visit her anywhere else. Also, I didn't know where else to find her.

When I arrived back to my room, Schrödinger was sitting waiting for me on my bed. He was leaning on the wall where your head are supposed to be with the pillow stuffed behind his back, and his legs was crossed on the covers, boots on his feet; forgotten or intentional resting before him.

When he saw me though, he looked oddly surprised and removed his feet from the mattress and sat up more properly, this time with his legs over the side of the bed.

"How did you-" I began, but then I remembered who he was. "Right… Everywhere and nowhere, I know." I muttered before he could say anything and slummed next to him on the bed.

"Everywhere yes, but nowhere near you this evening…" He mumbled, placing both of his white hands on his sharp knees. He seemed jealous. "Are you mad?" I asked him carefully, almost forgiving him for what he said earlier about how I worked and made a big deal out of everything.

Schrödinger shock his head and smiled just a little bit. "You can do what you want." He muttered. I hopped closer to him. "I had to do it." I said, trying to explain the situation. "No." He said. "You wanted to do it."

That left me speechless, and I thought about it. Did I, really? No.

"How can you be so sure about that?" I asked him, now very closely to his temple, about where his ear would have been if he was 100% human. Reaching up to talk to his fluffy animal ear was out of the question, and way too surreal for me.

I didn't feel like arguing with him. Although it's a bit wrong of me to say, I must admit that I enjoy seeming him slightly troubled. It made him less paranormal and more human, even though it was just small signs of unhappiness, but I counted them all:

The rejecting eye-contact. The slight pout on his lips. The light frown. He had invented another expression. He had gotten a little more than a Cheshire Cat.

And perhaps it was all thanks to me.

I glanced at the side of his face curiously. His cheekbones were also shown once again. "Hello?" I mumbled. "Why did you even come here when you won't talk to me?" I asked and smiled against his fair skin. His pouting was irresistible and his fragrance was extraordinary today. Did he wear cologne? Schrödinger didn't move an inch.

"Don't do it." He only and suddenly said.

"What?" I asked in confusion, pulling away to get a better look on him. At first I thought he asked me to stop being so close to him, which made my heart drop, but he proved me wrong shortly after.

"Don't tell her about that boy." He said, finally looking at me.

"Why not?" I asked, not understanding why I shouldn't tell Zorin about Kevin. "If I don't tell her, She will…" I stopped myself, not even daring to think what would happen if I refused orders. I looked away from his eyes.

"You're afraid of her." Schrödinger said and when I looked back at him he was smirking again.

"You're adorable." I didn't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

"I promised her to give her the information she wanted." I said. "I can't disobey orders."

Schrödinger stood up promptly from the bed and stared down at me. "But you can disobey **me**, Eve!" He shouted. Hearing him scream like this was new to me. He sounded like a little child but I knew how serious he was. "Please sit down." I said calmly.

"And now you're telling me what to do." He spoke silently and looked away shaking his head with a sarcastic grin. "Why do you even want to please that woman?" He asked, and kneeled down before me, placing his gloved hands on either side of me on the bed.

"Eve - You did nothing wrong." He said, reminding me of the incident with Ann.

"I was defending you Schrödinger." I said softly.

"I know. What's wrong with that?" He asked, and I began thinking deeply about it. "I don't know." I said, because I didn't know.

"Eve…" Schrödinger murmured and grabbed my face to make me look at him only, to make me know how serious he was.

"Don't tell her anything. You did nothing wrong." He said slowly. "You don't deserve any kind of punishment. You don't even deserve to be here."

His deepness struck my soul and he had me blown away once again by his unpredictable words. I found myself leaning down towards his face, but I stopped when our foreheads touched.

"There must be some place better for you." His wide lips brushed against mine when he talked and his breath hit my skin like warm puffs of air. My heart melted, despite the fact that I didn't agree with him completely.

"This is quite good too." I said, my hands grasping the collar of his uniform gently. "Yes." Schrödinger agreed. "But his smell is all over you…" He complained and grabbed my wrists. He was looking down at my lips, nose slightly wrinkled in displeasure.

"He said I was cute." I said in some kind of dumb suggestion that would make our dishwasher-kiss more acceptable. I didn't know why I said that to be honest. Schrödinger tilted his head to the side, like he was about to kiss me himself. A ghost of a smile was gracing his lips.

"I have cat ears." He said lightheartedly. "Say another obvious thing." He asked, and then I could no longer go up against the boy. Instead of saying another obvious thing, I did another action of compulsion and captured his lips in a kiss that he returned cautiously.

His grip on my wrists softened and hardened, like he couldn't decide if he wanted to be rough or gentle.

I then began laughing, interrupting our kiss, and Schrödinger looked at me curiously.

"Does this mean that what I did with Kevin was all for naught? If don't have to tell Zorin then, my effort must've been in vain?" I asked, finding the whole happening somehow amusing, even though I had made a fool out of myself.

Schrödinger smiled at me, pleased that I gave in to the idea of not saying anything to Zorin.

"Nope." He said. "Your efforts would've been in vain anyway, because I don't want that man near you at any cost." He whispered and took aim for another kiss.

* * *

It was fifteen minutes until evening class began and I still haven't decided if I should go or not. Even if I went, there's a chance that Zorin wouldn't be there. She's not in charge of every class we have, and sending me to get information for her must mean that she's very busy with anything else.

Also, she did not give me a deadline of some sort, so I might as well haven't gotten the opportunity to ask Kevin during these hours. She must understand that. But if I did happen to bump into her and she confronted me about it, then what in the world should I tell her?

Schrödinger warned me about telling her the truth, but does that mean that I must lie to her? If she finds out Kevin is a virgin – even though he is not – what will happen to Kevin then? And if she knows the truth about him having sex with people, how will she react to that? Which fact is more possible to please her? If I only knew that, then it wouldn't matter if I lied or not. I didn't know the answer she wanted.

Another thing, or another person I wanted to avoid out of all costs was Kevin of course.

"Ah! So you gave the gangly receptionist blue balls in the dish room!"

It was hard to tell what was funnier. That Rip Van Winkle had referred to Kevin as gangly, when she is almost twice as my height and with limbs slender as pipes, or that used the term blue balls. "Humans do work in mysterious ways…" She sang to herself in a cooing, wondering mumble.

I didn't want to tell her about my last moment with Schrödinger out of two reasons. I didn't want her to freak out about me rejecting orders, and I didn't want to spice up the reputation me and Schrödinger already was bound to. All of the sudden, I had an idea.

"Winkle, now that we know that Kevin's not a virgin. Can't you tell her?" I asked. "Oh my dear…" She sighed and re-constructed her position on my cough and turned herself upside-down so her feet were facing the ceiling.

"And take the only escape you have from punishment away from you? With pleasure!" She joked. "I ain't telling that bloody beast anything about her pet. I want nothing to do with any of them!" She said, and I was smart enough to not keep nagging at her about this. She's a member of millennium after all.

"Just give her what she want, and she won't bug you anymore. I've already told her you're green, so who knows. Perhaps you'll be one of us one day!" She chimed.

I let out a nervous laugh. "Sorry… I have this thing with Swastikas, you see-"

"Oh!? But I'm not talking about Swastikas!" She informed gleefully and pushed herself from the wall and jumped up successfully on the floor without effort. "Tell me petite fruälein… Has the thought of growing old, weak and wrinkly ever put you off?" She asked with a gleam in her eyes.

"Um." I said. I wasn't too certain about that. I actually liked the concept of eating refreshments every day and having bird feeding as a highlight.

"I suppose…" I said, not giving her a reason to nag at me for disagreeing. "Within Millennium… That is possible." She said, two slender fingers lifting my chin up.

"You'll turn me into a vampire?" I asked, my question involuntary coming out sarcastically. Rip Van Winkle only grinned. "Well not I." She said. "I might lose control of myself and devour you completely; bones and veins and everything!" She chimed.

"If that's what you want; then you should speak with Doc." She said. "And then we could live happily ever after; how does that sound?" She whispered close to my face like she was about to kiss me.

"Perhaps… It's sounds pretty… interesting?" I said, feeling my face change color, and every fiber in my being went rebelling on guard.

"_'Perhaps!'_" Van Winkle blurted out. "There are _no_ perhaps dear. I already booked you up! Your appointment start's in fifteen minutes!"

"What?"

* * *

He was gawking at me shamelessly with those weird spectacles of his from where he stood, and with that nasty smirk plastered on his face like it was a part of his unusual accessory, or necessitate. His grimace did not contain any trace of kindness at all; and his posture was so bad it was painful to watch.

I was sitting in a couch in his office, that looked more like a science laboratory from CSI to be honest, and I felt nothing but inferior in the role as his patient. He had a brown binder stuck between his upper arm and the side of his torso and he held a notebook in his hand. A pencil was put behind his ear, almost invisible in the middle-length blond hair. I could not see the color of his eyes. And I never would.

"I've heard a great deal about you, frauläin." He said at last with a slick and dry voice. "I must say that I feel somewhat honored by your fondness of my creation." He added proudly. "What?" I asked, not understanding exactly what he meant.

"I speak of Warrant Officer Schrödinger."

My eyes widened. "You're his dad?" I asked, my eyes drifting to the similar shade of light hair. The Doctor neglected my words with an amused, deep chuckle.

"I assume you can put it that way, if you'd like…" He mumbled, gambling that concept a little in his head before he said "I am the closest to family to him that he ever had, that he currently has and that he will ever have." He informed, leaving a melancholic silence behind those words.

Yet, the man was still smirking contently at having me in his company. He dropped the binder from his armpit onto a small table next to another couch placed right in front of me. Whilst taking his seat, he spoke "How kind of a young lady like yourself to spare an old bloke like me a moment."

His compliment did not get to me at all, and I considered telling him that I was sent here without any choice and that seeing him in person would never occur in my mind voluntarily, but I was smart enough not to voice my thoughts. It would be a fool to say such a thing to a person such as himself.

His lab-doctor coat was dirty with old dried blood and underneath it; he was wearing an outfit of almost a sadistic and sexual nature; tight-fitting pants and a top that exposed half of his bare torso, his whole stomach showing.

I tried my hardest to maintain eye-contact, but my eyes hated my brain for looking down towards the low waistline, and returned back up asking him silently _'Why?'_

Taking my speechlessness optimistically, he continued, "Unfortunately I cannot say that this meeting takes place in a attempt for _the two of us_ to get to know each other – I believe it exists to get to know the person… _in-between_ us."

The information he gave me was confusing. Not only the fact that he had complained about us _not_ getting to know each other, but to know someone else. And didn't Winkle send me here to become a vampire or something?

He was now seated in his own comfortableness ahead of me, looking like Dr. Phil with the information on the side table and notepad in hand. "Tell me, _..." He said like he's been saying my name plenty of times before, or has been talking to someone who'd said it and remembered it.

"How well do you know Schrödinger?" He asked, removing the pen from his ear and held it in his fingers like he had all the time in the world.

I found it stupid that he would take notes, but I answered him as best as I could, with a slight paradox. "Not at all and enough." Was my answer and I earned another content smirk from him, just like I'd said what he wanted to hear.

"An excellent answer _. Especially to a question involving his very own nature, that isn't one-sided either. Are you willing to tell me, what do you see when you look at the boy?" He asked and this question was a bit more difficult to answer for some reason.

I began thinking about one of the most obvious things you see on a person and I ended up answering, "His Youth uniform?"

The Doctor still held the pen firmly in hand, but he seemed to have lost focus in his noting. "Ah! The complete _Nazi Hitler Youth_ _uniform_; just like the original back then…" He remembered, distracting himself from writing.

"I have an abiding gratitude reserved to mankind for preserving it so beautifully. Schrödinger too is very pleased with it. The uniform was very exciting for him; washed and trimmed with freshly polished shoes and shiny buttons, and just like the boys before him, he was dazzled by Hitler's promises about a bright future, and took pride in his clothes and the armlet." Doc explained with the same enthusiasm like a father would have talking about his sons membership in the scouts.

"He was born and raised in that uniform." He put it shortly. "A young German must be swift as a greyhound, as tough as leather and as hard as Krupp's steel, was Hitler's belief and now my very own." He said, and I shivered. He had mentioned Hitler's name three times.

The quote sounded familiar somehow. I had never heard it be said before now, but I'm certain that I've seen it written down somewhere in this aircraft.

Everything felt like old history class all over again and I am not sure if I like this teacher very much. "In war training, the boys got to dig trenches and learn how to throw grenades. Reserve troops were engaging in tasks such as fire fighting and mail-delivery…" He said, and I took in all the information attentively.

All I could see was a brainwashed blond boy throwing fireworks and digging holes in the ground and delivering old-fashioned envelopes, not white but light brown tied in hairy treads.

"And camouflage." He finished and everything made sense to me in the strangest of ways. "Did Schrödinger learn all of this?" I asked like the naïve student I was.

"He was born and raised in that uniform." The Doctor repeated kindly, answering and not answering my question. You could see that he was glad having me interested in all of this. "Born and raised to follow orders. As well as the tasks ein Hitlerjunge had to suffer through in order to become a true Nazis – the full meaning of their existence was to serve the motherland and to die for it."

After hearing that, I wanted to stand up in that moment and leave his office if I could. But this information was gold, and that was the only reason I remained put. This might solve every little confused riddle I had myself wrapped in after I met Schrödinger.

"I've altered him, and maximized all of the knowledge's and experiences from the past training camps, in order to fulfill him to the utmost. The final result is a delivery-boy with camouflage skills out of this world and an existence one thousand times more complex than the minds of human beings." He said, putting his ankle atop the other leg's knee, the top leg pointed outwards, notepad in a limp hold and pencil almost dropping out of his hand.

"You'll see… Schrödinger only exists for as long as he is aware of himself. As a matter of fact – Schrödinger exists for one reason only. I have programmed it all into not only his developed brain, but in his cells and in every little drop of blood; in his entire being. I made him to the person he is – The ultimate Hitler Youth. Haven't you noticed that he's the only one in our organization that are just that; a Youth - a Jugend? It's all because he is the only one we need. One mind, and one invulnerable body."

He looked at me then with an odd expression. "Unless you're willing to join, fruälein?" He asked, half-joking and half-serious. I shock my head at his offer."I'm not a child, Doctor." I said politely, but that wasn't the one and only reason I rejected that opportunity. I didn't want to be a Nazi, or a Jugend. I didn't want to be a vampire, or a werecat. I didn't want to be everywhere and nowhere.

The Doctor and I sat and talked for what seemed like hours. Actually, the Doctor did most of the talking; speaking about the Hitler Youth camps, the original experiment of the Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger, and of course his own experiment, his creation, his son.

I got more and more relaxed whilst listening to his meticulous and almost sophisticated explanations and theories. It made me realize how much I had missed conversation with a more or less sane person.

After letting all information get melted into my senses, I felt a billion of things at once. I was relived, and shocked and even disappointed. I was sad, and happy and angry.

"So that's what he is then." I said seriously whilst nodding in my own kind of understanding. "He's some sort of complete inhuman and emotionless body with a head?" I asked, the words getting more and more difficult to say.

"And while you're at it – All you decide is to fill him up with war-related information and everything evil you could transfer. You made a boy – an entire functional person with amazing capableness out of nothing, and all for your own selfish malevolence needs. What a waste of talent. You should be ashamed of yourself, Doctor." I said, not being able to just sit here and listen to all of this.

The Doctor was not offended by my words. He listened closely to them and thought about what I'd said, more than willing to tell me more. "Oh, but Schrödinger is well more than a container of inhuman abilities, my dear." He explained calmly.

"What more did you put in him?" I asked suspiciously with a frown, to which he answered eagerly and instantly, "Poetry!" He exclaimed and chuckled at his own decision. "I planted a seed of poetry to fill out his vocabulary and to make him more social. No wonders he keeps on saying that… 'Everywhere and nowhere'…"

I had a mixture of feelings. Here it was. It couldn't be clearer than this. The truth. The entire mystery of the messenger boy with the cat ears. And yes the truth hurts, but it depends on how you handle it. It felt somewhat like a relief too; an opportunity to move on.

But I had fallen too hard in love with an insufficient experiment, just like Jack had said Schrödinger was, and it will take a long time for me to get back up

"Doctor." I said gently. "Is there no love at all in him?" I asked, hearing how bold and cliché and silly my question sounded, but it felt less ludicrous when Doctor said "I was just about to get to that..." He was looking slightly impressed, like he believed that I was some kind of mind-reader.

"It seems, to my very own astonishment, that Warrant Officer Schrödinger has created a mind of his own." He said and I felt my heart bounce against the insides of my ribcage.

"The questions won't stop and he's getting more and more distant and self-propelled, curiously wanting to know new things and explore this world." He muttered almost miserably, massaging his temples.

"I suppose I must thank you for that, fruälein. Thank you for letting him grow." He said, and his voice suddenly became one level softer.

"Ever since your path's crossed, Schrödinger's mind expanded. I don't think it will make much difference in his mission, but I doubt that poetry is the only harmless importance in his mind at this very moment…" He said and smiled.

"I apologize if my creation has made your life as an intern more troublesome, fruälein. All I can say in my defense is that I did not alter him this way." He apologized, and I stood up then. Not because I had enough, neither because I was on my way to escape.

Before I would change my mind, I leaned down and kissed his forehead and said

"Thank you. Doctor."

* * *

_The Doctor of millennium, the so-called father of Warrant Officer Schrödinger remained seated even after his patient had left their appointment. The human contact left a lingering of strangeness on his skin, and secretly surprised him and even flattered him. In return for receiving that action of kindness, he left the notepad blank. _


	15. Don't shoot the messenger

When I woke up the next day, one of my greatest fears had become true.

I had gotten my period, and I had nothing to protect myself with except for toilet paper and tissues. Worst of all, I didn't know who I should ask about this sensitive matter.

Most people onboard were men, and in worst cases; _vampires s_o the idea of them knowing that I was bleeding from my womanhood wasn't something I wanted to provoke.

I remember back to where both Ann and Penelope were alive, and they had a minor discussion about this female issue. Ann had completely ditched the idea to visit Doc, so instead she had gone to the nurse, so I followed her example and did just that.

I suppose the Doctor and I were on friendly terms for now, but that doesn't mean that I am willing to bother him with these matters. Actually, he's probably one of the last people I would talk to about this. But to my horror, it seems like the nurse was no longer onboard and apparently we had landed somewhere without me even noticing!

Something told me that this was karma straight from the grave where Ann and Pen had gone. They were probably laughing at me and mocking me from the other side.

As said, I refused to let Doctor know about this information, especially after our rather extraordinary meeting yesterday. So asking him was out of question.

Even after doubting asking her out of all people, since she was a vampire, I still sacrificed my honor and asked Rip Van Winkle for help, but to my utter surprise she was completely oblivious to the subject and asked me to repeat myself and I just couldn't make that sacrifice twice.

I was beginning to run out of options after not finding Naomi and also rejecting Zorin out of two reasons; I was avoiding her because I didn't want to tell her the truth about Kevin's non-virginity, and who in the world would ask Miss Blitz for a panty liner?

After another look inside the cafeteria, I sighed at the lack of Naomi and made my way miserably down the corridor. I could always just lock myself in my room until the despair is over. It only lasted for a few days, so maybe it wouldn't be that much of a big deal? I could even consider this as a short-term vacation.

After getting halfway to my room, I was too gloomy to even notice that someone had appeared beside me. "You're not supposed to run off on your own. I was looking for you."I recognized Schrödinger's delighted voice and stopped in my tracks.

When I looked at him, it was like I was searching for traces on his features that he knew what I was suffering through. Even though I couldn't find any, I still had a feeling that he knew about it, so I might as well let him know before he mention the matter.

"Just when I thought that this place couldn't get any worse" I began and Schrödinger scratched the back of his head. "Glad to see you too!" He said and chuckled. "I didn't mean that." I defended, wanting to laugh too but I just couldn't manage. "I'm on my period." I deadpanned.

"What?"

"Period."

"…What?"

And then I hit his arm and laughed, embarrassed at my own ignorance. Who was I kidding? He looked at me so weirdly that I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

He cleared his throat and straightened himself. Deciding to ignore my strangeness, he said "I wanted to ask you if you wanted to help me with my letter sorting. You could say no, but you won't have any choice because it's an order from your escort." He smiled mysteriously and put his hand proudly on his chest.

"Okay but I need pads." I said, willing to take extreme measures.

"Pardon?"

_Extreme measures._

* * *

After helping me with my little issue (which Schrödinger still doesn't seem to understand the slightest), he had dumped his entire work station onto the floor in my room which consisted of different sized envelopes and two or three medium-sized letterboxes.

The two of us were seated on the floor like two kindergarten children. "Why didn't you tell me you're into poetry, Schrödinger?" I asked and turned to lie on my stomach on the carpet. "You never asked." He answered casually but with perked up ears, eyes not as interested as they continued to read the envelopes and assort them in piles.

I smiled softly and crawled closer to him, plumping down at his side. I stared at him curiously, making him glare at me too. "Talk to me in poetry." I asked, okay actually more demanded, and grinned hugely in expectation, not willing to miss Warrant Officer Schrödinger dictate for the world.

"I'm a bit busy at the moment." He dismissed me kindly and looked away, crushing my newborn dream with that sentence. But even so, he stopped his work once again. His hand holding one of the letters dropped to his thigh in a limp manner, his expression turning more and more in awe in some kind of realization.

"You've talked to Doc." He looked up at me and I nodded nervously at him finding out about it. "What happened?" He asked, completely taking his attention from the sorting of letters. The envelope in his hand dropped to the floor unnoticeably beside him.

I smiled calmly at him. Ever since I knew about Schrödinger's true nature, I felt more relaxed with him, now that I sort of knew what he was.

"I found out that you're not human." I said in kind sarcasm, faking a gasp and poked him in his side teasingly. "What more did he say?" Schrödinger asked, trying to ignore me but he concealed a laugh and twitched from the contact and had grabbed hold of my hand to prevent me from poking him further.

"It appears that…" I said, urging myself up with my elbow with the help of his hold and whispered as close as I could manage near his face "You're a masterpiece."

A mild blush, barely seen on his skin spread over his cheeks and a withdrawn smirk formed his lips as he let go of me pushed me gently but firmly enough so I ended up laying back down on the floor again, this time on my back.

"You're crushing the mails." He accused in jest, whilst gleefully watching me from above.

"No I'm not!" I defended, before even looking if I actually did. Schrödinger stopped laughing and stared at the bunch of unsorted letters like they were distracting him.

"You deliver all of these?" I asked. "Not all of them." He answered. "Doc once told me that my existence is not to do these mere tasks. I'm more than a messenger boy, actually." Schrödinger said, sounding a bit proud of himself and his words. It made me a bit sad for some reason.

"Yes – Yes you are!" I said and urged myself up once again to lean on him. "You're much much more than that." I said, whilst resting my head on his shoulder on the same side the swastika was. Schrödinger did not response to my words; instead he waited out a moment of silence to ask this heart-breaking question "I'll never be a human like you Eve, will I?"

I looked down at an envelope with the name _Jan Lucas Metelmann_ written on it in cursive letters. "No." I committed sadly and before I could even come up with some encouraging words, Schrödinger stood up promptly, almost making me fall over again.

"I'm everywhere and nowhere." He said, looking down at me. The intense smirk was seen when he said "That's all I'll ever be."

My mouth opened and I struggled up from the floor, almost slipping over all envelopes that had gotten scattered all over the carpet because I wanted to say something disagreeing, but our conversation got interrupted by an incoming Rip Van Winkle who didn't bother to knock before bursting into my room.

"The red-head is dead, and her boyfriend also." She proclaimed gleefully, but minding her manners in my presence, since she knew that Naomi and Berry were my friends.

Then it hit me.

Naomi and Berry are dead.

Schrödinger stared at Rip Van Winkle in silence and even shock. "What?" I merely said, not finding anything else to say.

"They made revolt." She stated shortly. "The bloke rose up against a guard for touching his girl and actually got him down on the floor. Red-head got eager and provoked her boyfriend to kill him but too bad six other guards were nearby. So many holes… It was an entire bloodied cheese factory out there I tell you…" Rip Van Winke explained while doing dramatic gestures with her slender hands.

She stopped when she saw the expression on my face. "Oh, my sweet girl…" She said and stepped closer to me. "I'm sorry." She said with genuine compassion in her eyes.

"Now it's just me – And Kevin." I said in panic, feeling my breathing escalate unhealthily. I looked around the room, the floor, all names and letters making my head spin. "We're only two left!" I whispered in terrified realization.

Schrödinger looked at me helplessly, a look of guilt painting his features even though he had nothing to do with this. Rip Van Winkle grabbed my face in her hands. "You're not _just_ you, petite frauläin." She said seriously. "You made it this far – It must mean something, and we won't let anything happen to you, you understand?" She said, looking into my eyes with such convincement that I almost fell backwards. She shot Schrödinger a glare. "Right, Catboy?" She asked him.

Schrödinger had not left me with his eyes; still looking at me, he smiled and nodded. He seemed so grown up then that I was almost scared of him. I said to Schrödinger, "I'm scared." He still smiled at me. "I'll make sure you're safe. I promise. I'm not scared."

I was still scared but not as much. Rip Van Winkle smiled proudly at Schrödinger's words. Then, she turned to look at me. "You must tell Zorin." She said, and my eyes darted at Schrödinger who looked down at the floor, ears twitching in their own protest.

"She's waiting for you in the classroom in about an hour." She said and let go of my face.

This might as well be the hardest decision of my life.

I was standing in a room with two people who were pulling on either of my arms in two opposite directions.

* * *

I f flowers grew on this airship, I would've picked one up and, pull each of its flower petals off and say "Tell Zorin. Do not tell Zorin." Every other time. Unfortunately, no flowers grew and a flower could not help me to decide my fate. Still, I were walking through the corridors alone, expecting a flower to pop up from the hard white floor.

On second thoughts; I would not ruin the flower.

I would've put it somewhere to honor Naomi.

I had prepared myself. I suppose you could put it two ways; I was either smart, or completely out of my mind.

Underneath my sweater rested the silver pistol in my drawer that no one knew about except for me and its previous owner.

It was tucked inside the hem of my trousers, felt cold against my skin and I didn't know if it was loaded or not.

I came to a sudden stop when I discovered a random door that was half open. I was aware that I had more important matters to attend to, but after dealing with five deaths in one week, I could sacrifice what might be my last opportunity to something interesting and half-fun. I peeked through the door.

It was a room, just an ordinary room with a bed. It looked to be a public restroom of some sort. It seemed to be empty. The idea of looking myself in here forever popped up in my head. It was such a dumb plan that I re-considered it and even extra-checked if the door could be locked from the inside.

I stepped into the room, taking in the atmosphere a little and breathed the air. It felt safe, so I closed the door but didn't have the nerve to lock it just yet. "If I lock it, I'll stay here forever." I mumbled, making a inner deal with myself.

"Then what are you waiting for?" A voice whispered next to my ear. I jumped back into whoever it was behind me. The person embraced me, holding me steady, while I saw a big neat hand turn the lock until the door clicked.

"Kevin?" I frowned, familiar with his hand and his scent and his ways of touching me. I felt goosebumps on my skin, and not the pleasured ones.

"I've been waiting for you. I thought about looking after you, but it seems like there's no need for that now that you've find me." He turned me around, and I stared up into his blue eyes. "You do realize that Naomi and Berry are dead?" I asked, confused by his selfish desires.

A deep frown could be seen on Kevin's face, but it didn't take long before he smiled at me again with his white teeth. "You're completely right... That means that the two of us are the only one left" He said in an attempt to seduce me.

"Are you serious?" I breathed in disbelief, my breath hitting his chin and giving away the wrong signals. "Are you?" He asked back, one of his eyebrows twitching in a confident way before he dived down and started to kiss my neck; leaving snail trails on my skin with his experienced wet muscle.

"N-no…" I cringed, not liking this at all. I placed my hand on his bony shoulders and pushed him away but he did not follow. "Live a little." He only said between sloppy kisses. I managed to get him off me when he noticed that my knee had interfered in his game, only then he pulled away.

"What's up with this? Are you playing hard to get or something?" He asked, still as excited as before. I shook my head. "I don't want to." I said, to which he frowned at and later on chuckled at.

He looked behind him. "Come on. Don't tell me it's the room? This is the best I could find. It even has clean sheets and soap and everything."

Like clean sheets and soap would make me say yes…

"_" He said my name, and grabbed me by my wrist, pulling me further into the room that didn't feel as safe as it once did. "I know you want this."

"How can you know what I want? I know my own body best." I protested and tried to yank my arm from his grip on my wrist. "Then I'll make you want it." He said and chuckled.

I was scared. Kevin wasn't the strongest man in the world but he was bodily bigger than me and almost ridiculously tall, so he could easily have his way with me if he insisted. I think he did, because before I could blink, I was pushed down onto the bed and he was straddling me, the bluest and most human eyes scanning my face in an animalistic manner.

My hands were free. My fingers reached up to touch his noticeable Adam's apple and traveled down almost all the way to his bellybutton, capturing his attention with his own dirty tactics. Then, my hand dropped and reached underneath my sweater to pull out the pistol. Kevin looked down curiously. "Oh? Look what you brought up in play..." He murmured playfully and chuckled, until I pointed it to his head that is.

"Get off me." I said almost humbly. He was startled at first, but then he softened. "You got any handcuffs with that?"

"It's real, now get off me!" I shouted at him, infuriated by his audacity, and he sat up slowly, putting his hands up. "It looks fake." He thought out loud in a hopeful, but confident manner. "Is it even loaded?" He asked, and he almost fooled me, but I refused to back down now that I'd found away to keep him under control.

"I don't want to do _anything_ with you." I said. "I'm not like your Miss Blitz."

"You're playing" He smirked. "Your face is all red, and I bet you are more than the double of excited than what I am. Or else you would never have asked me to see you alone in the kitchen."

My index finger tested the trigger. I have never pointed a real gun at someone before, so I didn't know how hard the pull must be to even shot a bullet, and I couldn't even tell if it was loaded or not. It really felt like a Russian Roulette. If it was a real gun, and if it was loaded, I had a living life in my hand.

So this is how it feels like? To be responsible of other people's life? Of human beings. Of prisoners. To be a defender. A guard. A soldier.

A murderer.

"I asked because I had to. I asked because-"

"You were curious." He interrupted, like he wasn't at all threatened and this was just a normal conversation in a strange abandoned room with clean sheets and soap, and he was still straddling me and I held a pistol to his face.

I examined Kevin's face. It was sad. I had always found him attractive, out of my league. And now he had proved to me that no one is really perfect, even the ones that seems perfect. Especially those.

"I can't blame you for that. All virgins are."

I pulled and boom.

It felt like my hand exploded and everything got wet and I could feel something really heavy on top of my legs.

It was Kevin who lay there. Why did he lie down?

I put one and one together when my hand twitched and the pistol was still held in my hand. I knew it was the pistol even though I could not see it; I was lying down too with my head on the clean pillowcase.

I was staring up at the ceiling, my eyes blinking in a repeating state from shock. I didn't dare to sit up and see. I refused to believe that this happened.

"Kevin?" I asked. Kevin... I moved the gun to my face to take a closer look at it. It felt much warmer than it did tucked in my pants, and when I saw a string of smoke leaving the pipe, I began crying.

Why did I do this?

What will happen to me now?

What will I tell Zorin?

The question wouldn't stop coming. Whilst crying with the same genuine unhappiness like a child, I closed my eyes as I began sitting up.

His body felt like a ton on my own, and I couldn't pull my legs from underneath him without touching him with my upper body. I don't know for how long I had struggled with this, but I eventually ended up pushing down Kevin's dead body on the floor.

Now my period had come to be one of my least problems.

* * *

"Oh boy…" Schrödinger whistled while he was staring down at the mess I had made. He had lifted a finger to his lips in a wondering way, like he was trying to figure out what had happened, even though I had explained it to him more times than allowable, in details, over and over again.

I was sitting crying on the bed. I didn't stop until I heard him say "We must tell someone."

"No! You can't do that!" I said to him, feeling my guilty sadness getting replaced with a selfish panic. I stood up from the bed and walked to stand next to him. "There must be some other way." I pleaded and touched his arm vulnerably. Schrödinger wasn't looking at me, but despite that his attention was on Kevin's dead body, he nodded in understanding.

"What are we gonna do?" I asked.

"I don't know." Schrödinger admitted dispassionately, and that answer scared me. Schrödinger looked at me and smiled. He was calm. "We must get rid of his body. If we don't do that, the truth will come out." He said and I tried to be as calm as him and nodded bravely, but my hands couldn't stop shaking.

Schrödinger looked around the room. His eyes landed on the pistol on the bed. "Is it loaded?" He asked whilst picking it up and examined it. Before I could answer he checked it with a natural urbane movement you could see that he was used to. "Yep." He chuckled and something clicked in the pistol when he reset it and I jumped at the noise even though it was harmless.

Schrödinger looked at me. "I got an idea." He said and played around with the gun in his hands, and I nodded enthusiastically, willing to sign up for anything he had in mind that would spare me from trouble. He tossed me the gun which I caught clumsily and he stepped over Kevin's corpse and kneeled down.

He took out the knife I recognized as the weapon he had used to kill Jack with. "What are you doing?" I asked. Whenever there was a knife with Schrödinger, it never ended well.

"A little sacrifice." He mumbled happily and slid the sharp blade nonchalantly on his wrist, but the cut was deep enough to elicit blood. I frowned in disliking. Immortal or not, the sight of Schrödinger injuring himself was never an appealing one.

He turned his wrist over and smudged it over the wound where the bullet had hit him on his temple, mixing their blood together. "Such an awkward aim, Eve…" He blamed teasingly and grinned up at me with a full tooth smile whilst continuing with this occult thing. I couldn't help but blush. I suppose he was right, but maybe being bad at doing bad things isn't a bad thing.

"You must aim right this time." He said, struggling to pull Kevin's body up into a sitting position. My eyes widened. "You want me to shot him again?" I asked startled. He couldn't be that cruel. Schrödinger laughed.

"No silly!" He said, eyes closing in his grin. He had managed to get Kevin so he was leaning on the side of the bed. Schrödinger was sitting in front of him, in-between his gangly legs like a pet. I backed away from the two of them a few steps with the pistol still in my hand, feeling like this situation got more and more disturbing.

"Eve." Schrödinger said in a voice settled enough to take him seriously. "I want you to shot me." He said, and the urge to cry returned. "Eve." He assured. "I'll be fine. This is the only way if you don't want to tell someone."

I swallowed something in my throat. "What if I miss the right spot and don't succeed?" I asked, but it sounded more like an excuse. "You won't miss." He smiled. "Not this time; I'll tell you what to do." He said and tilted his head to gesture to the pistol. "Now take aim, nice and steady…" He said in a manner a parent teach their children new things.

I lifted the gun, and the same time, his head lollied up.

"If you close your eyes, you won't see what you're shooting. That's why you didn't hit Kevin properly, did you?" He asked and I opened my eyes to see him trying to conceal a laugh. "You're adorable. Now, do you see the centerpiece of the pipe? You see a small bulb at the end of it, in the middle?" He asked and I nodded again.

"Make sure it's between my eyes." He said, holding his gaze firmly on the pistol. I dropped my arm then.

"I can't do this Schrödinger." I warned.

"Yes you can." Schrödinger said back encouragingly and determined to make me succeed with this mission. "Will it hurt you?" I asked with tears in my throat. When he saw that I was still hesitating, his eyes sharpened.

"Now you listen to me, Inmate." He ordered in a displeased murmur.

"I don't know what that Hellsing Organization is all about, but if you can't even handle a gun, then I'm surprised that you've made it this far. You've been forced to move on through all of this by escort. You'd spoken up to people, even though it could've cost you your life. You've seen your friends die. You almost got raped, and you killed that rapist with closed eyes. You only have one life - Don't let it go to waste just because you refuse to shoot someone with uncountable."

My finger tested the trigger once again, but this time I felt like I had it in control. "Now pull that trigger, until we meet again."

I didn't know what would happen after that I shot him, but there was only one way to find out. It was to trust him, which I did. I took aim again and I pressed the trigger whilst maintaining eye contact, and they closed immediately after the boom.

I sank down on the floor in defeat even though I was the one who held the weapon in hand and had shot two people.

I don't know for how long I had been sitting there in silence, voluntarily blind by my own will to not see.

But when I finally dared to open my eyes, no one of them could be seen. No traces of blood were visible. It was just a strange empty room with clean sheets and soap.

* * *

Third time lucky, they use to say.

And perhaps those three words made me hold on to that gun. Of course, I didn't plan to shoot Zorin Blitz. Having the little silver pistol in hand gave me the last confidence and courage I had to meet her in evening class.

Perhaps for the last time.


End file.
